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February 20, 2009 | Comments ()


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The Unholy Pentaf*ck

Five Films We've Already Heard Too Much About / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | February 20, 2009 | Comments ()


We’re not what most folks would call a fanboy movie site. We do have our fair share of geeks, and though I like to tussle their hair and give them wedgies, we’re pleased as hell to have them aboard (particularly given the number of geeks on staff, all of whom plan on beating the shit out of me at Pajiba-Bacon).

But the fanboy sites, which consist of four out of every five movie blogs, have got a nosebleed obsession with several of the high-profile blockbusters in the works. Here, as far as trade news goes, we usually limit our coverage of any movie to: The announcement, the casting, and the trailer. But, if you are a reader of Slashfilm or Firstshowing.net (and in the latter case, I’ll kindly ask you to pack your bags and turn in your credentials), then you’d be likely to receive near-daily news on the Unholy Pentafuck — five movies that seem to be in constant rotation. So, in order to keep our geeks happy, while limiting the collateral damage, I’m going to use one post each week or two to cover the Unholy Pentafuck. The Pentafuck will consists of the same five movies, until one is released, at which point we’ll replace it.

Currently, the Pentafuck consists of: Watchmen, Iron Man 2, Star Trek, Terminator: Salvation and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Only those five films, and nothing else, will be discussed in the Unholy Pentafuck.

And so we start with Watchmen. There have already been any number of trailers, promos, featurettes, behind-the-scenes looks, and what have you devoted to the movie of late, most of which we’ve avoided for fear of overkilling the damn thing before it’s even had a chance in theaters. Twig, for instance, sent me this video (via Wired) on how they recreated the comic book world on film.

Otherwise, in this week’s Watchmen news, it looks as though Zack Snyder is planning to release a director’s cut into theaters in July, that is assuming the original version does well enough to warrant it. The director’s cut will be three hours, and to be honest, I can’t think of a three-hour film I’ve ever been enthusiastic about seeing, especially after having already seen a two-hour-and-forty-five minute version. Three hours, huh? It better be one hell of a great movie to deserve that, and I’m skeptical. I expect it’ll be good, but not great.

Next up: Linda Hamilton is purportedly in negotiations to come back and do some voiceover work for Terminator: Salvation. She hasn’t seen the final script yet (they’re still writing it), but assuming it’s decent, Hamilton will step in and doing the introductory voiceover for the flick. I’m all right with that. Remember that woman’s abs in T2?

As for Iron Man 2? For about a month now, the rumors about Mickey Rourke joining the pic as Crimson Dynamo have vacillated. On some days, he’s in negotiations, while on others, he’s passed on the project. It’s hard to tell where that’s at (though it seems to be leaning against his participation), although it does appear that Emily Blunt will not be able to fulfill the role of Black Widow, due to scheduling conflicts. I heard that Eliza Dushku wanted the role, but right now, it looks like Scarlett Johansson (*cough cough hairball cough*) is the leading contender for the part.

There’s nothing much going on with Star Trek this week, although I did accidentally see Tyler Perry on Jimmy Kimmel the other night, which reminded me that he has a part in the movie, which again made me question J.J. Abram’s casting decisions. Chris Pine as Kirk? And Tyler Perry? What gives, JJ?

And all the news w/r/t Revenge of the Fallen this week has been about merchandising and new Transformer toys, and I can’t be bothered, except to note that Burger King will get the fast-food promotion rights. Yay! I didn’t realize a Whopper could be even less appetizing.


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