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The Story of Gary Jormph-Jomp

By | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (21)



jerry-garcia.jpg

In a wonderful case of life mirroring art, the director of the Jerry Garcia biopic Dark Star has been denied the rights to all of Garcia’s music. Why is this so funny to me? Because anyone familiar with recent episodes of 30 Rock knows that Jenna Maroney was forced to play “Jackie Jormph-Jomp” after the production company couldn’t get the life rights to Janice Joplin. So I’m expecting a similar situation here.

The film is supposed to follow Garcia’s early life when he played in coffee shops and was primarily a bluegrass player. In typical biopic fashion he will do drugs and his wife will worry and he will rip a sink off of the wall. I wonder if they’ll even be allowed to make extremely apparent references to his songs. It’s a biopic staple. I really am starting to wonder about the audience for this movie. Would fans go see a musician’s biopic if it didn’t have the music?

That said, I really want them to do really lazy and obvious rip-offs of Dead songs. And now a list for amusement. And please feel free to add more.

-Drivin’
-Pal of Beelzebub
-Pyre on the Fountain.
-Cube of Precipitation
- Berlet Scagonias

Like I said, lazy and obvious. Don’t expect Yankovician levels of satire out of me.
You try to do better! I’m calling out the hippies of Pajiba. Represent!

(via The Playlist)









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Comments

who?

Posted by: chad at August 6, 2010 6:07 PM

Great now we are going to have hose the place down. That's, if the filthy stinking hippies ever leave.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 6, 2010 6:10 PM

BSlim, they will never leave. the Phish concert is going to last for an entire year.

Posted by: stopthemadness at August 6, 2010 6:22 PM

Oh my god

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 6, 2010 6:25 PM

Oh come now, hippies aren't that bad. They make brilliant composting material, after they've been properly broken down into smaller pieces for the fungi to nosh on.

Posted by: The Wanderer at August 6, 2010 7:04 PM

Aspartame Gladiolus!

Posted by: Jerce at August 6, 2010 7:25 PM

Bumberland Clues

Arkansas Takeaway

Ella Woo

Posted by: mswas at August 6, 2010 8:26 PM

Small Amount of Light Black
Splenda Flowerthing
Watershake
Stacy Jones

Posted by: chayes at August 6, 2010 8:34 PM

Little Bit of Gay
Turtle

Posted by: icecreammang at August 6, 2010 9:14 PM

Sweet! We're finally going to finally hear Jerr-Bear's song "Uncle Tom's Cabin".

Posted by: Jim Doggie at August 6, 2010 9:23 PM

BSlim:
We're already here.
Want a brownie?

Posted by: Jim Doggie at August 6, 2010 9:24 PM

Jerry Garcia only had 9 fingers. His older brother accidentally chopped it off with an axe. So, are they going to find an actor with 9 fingers who can fake playing guitar, or are they going to maim someone who really wants a job?

Posted by: BWeaves at August 6, 2010 10:17 PM

Man I fucking hate musical biopics.
But the 30 Rock reference was the awesomeness.
I really hope it is as good as “Jackie Jormph-Jomp”

Posted by: supafly at August 6, 2010 11:24 PM

Don't bogart that joint, man.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at August 6, 2010 11:48 PM

puff puff give, skokie! you're fuckin' up the rotation!

(Chris Tucker wouldn't give me the licensing rights to "Smoky.")

Posted by: stopthemadness at August 7, 2010 1:49 AM

Is that the guy who played Chachi?

Posted by: Lucas at August 7, 2010 2:08 AM

The wrong finger died!

Posted by: The Mutt at August 7, 2010 8:52 AM

"Dark star"…? Wow, that's not pretentious at all..! I fucking hate this guy and his talentless band and his boring hippie music.

I'm having a bad day.

Posted by: SarahReznor aka Barkai at August 7, 2010 12:21 PM

Tortoise Depot
Porcelain Kewpie
Hint of Ash
Aunt Jo's Combo
Arise Young Susan
Don't Diminish
Obscure Stella

Posted by: Quiet Wyatt at August 7, 2010 12:52 PM

This sucks. And you all suck as well

Posted by: Dee1983 at August 7, 2010 2:26 PM

"Gertha, you probably shouldn't be seen in my general vicinity again."

Posted by: LolaMonster at August 8, 2010 5:12 PM