Pajiba

AIYEE!

Don't DO that - there's only so much my poor heart can take! I mean, I've watched Hellraiser and laughed my way through the old high school Driver's Ed. films - but THIS is too horrible to contemplate with drinking some very strong spirituous liquors beforehand.

NO! Not Smurfy. How the smurf are we supposed to smurf the Smurf Smurf if it is all smurfed up in that smurfing stupid super real looking animation.
Smurfs are supposed to be smurfy little blue 2-D characters with no discernible genitalia or skin texture. That little smurfer has visible lines on his palms. Ew. Also, that smurfing thing has he biggest smurfing feet I have ever seen. And no femurs. Just how the smurf is a smurf supposed to locomote with smurfing HUGE feet and no means by which to smurf them.
THAT, my friends, is smurfed up.

As a child, I was insanely obsessed with the Smurfs, and seeing this picture makes me think I still am. I am going to have to see this in the theater, opening night.

That said, this Smurf looks less like he's coming from a multiple homicide and more like he's about to drive home drunk. Was there a Glassy-Eyed Smurf? I don't remember one.

You can't do CGI/3D smurfs! CGI/3D is freaking capitalist animation! the smurfs are freaking socialists goddamit!

I once had a Smurf-themed birthday. Somewhere in the basement I have 50+ plastic Smurf figurines and a plush Smurf for hugging. My first crush was on Hefty Smurf--the tattoo, the attitude, oh yeah, even when I was young, I liked bad boys.

Then they added Grandpa and the kids and it all went to hell.

Fuck me! I just Gargameld my britches.

Holy Christ, this makes me think that they're tying up little girls, disemboweling them and having a Blood Orgy to summon The First Evil.

Slutty Smurf
Boozy Smurf
Psycho Smurf
Jackoff Smurf
Cannibal Smurf

Wanderer, there already is a Slutty Smurf. It's Smurfette. How do you think that they keep on smurfing? Psycho Smurf is the one that she won't smurf with.

I don't know about a childrens' movie, but these new Smurfs have all the potential of being a great horror flick. Now if they were instead remaking the 1975 movie "Trilogy of Terror" (y'know the one with the killer Zuni doll), then maybe they might have something.

Can you picture about a hundred of these little creepies coming to life, jumping off of toy shelves and swarming unsuspecting people to death? Kind of a roaming homicidal Lilliputian death squad. Bonus if they butcher and eat their kill. I wonder if Michael Berryman is available to voice Pluto Smurf?

That is disgusting and should be killed. It is an abomination on the eyes.

I don't get it. I think it's cute. I mean...it's just a freakin' Smurf. It looks exactly like the toys I had when I was a kid.

No, no, no Lindsey with an 'e', dark haired Smurfette and blonde Smurfette were the same Smurf. When Gargamel created her to infiltrate the smurf community she had dark hair...and she was evil...and kinda slutty. Then Pappa Smurf cast a spell which made her good and she became a blonde and marginally less slutty. Cause obviously a bottle of peroxide makes you all virginal and saintly (I blame Betty and Veronica for society’s belief in that little idiosyncrasy).

After re-reading that paragraph I realize 1) I care way too much about this and 2) I need to cut back on the coffee at work.

The simpler-looking fake CG smurf at the top is actually way more likeable-looking (and looks more like the original Belgian comics and the cartoon) than the over-detailed leaked image...CG animators need to learn that for cartoon characters, "more realistic" does not equal better!

These cute little things will eat you alive while you sleep, first, they find an opening that they can crawl into and then start hacking away on your insides until the pain of internal bleeding wakes you up, just in time to die before you can call 911 because by now, they are tearing apart your brains and eating them with peanut butter.