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In Schadenfreude: The Revolving Chairs at the 'American Idol' Judges' Table Are Officially a Sh*tshow

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | July 13, 2012 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | July 13, 2012 |


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I don't watch "American Idol," and haven't in several years, but what's happening with the judges on the highest rated show on television is certainly worth reporting, namely that the show can't seem to hang on to them anymore. After losing or dismissing Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, Ellen Degeneres, and that woman no one remembers, yesterday, rumors surfaced that the only original judge left, Randy Jackson, was leaving after 11 seasons (and remain in a mentor capacity). He may or may not be replaced by Mariah Carey, of all people.

Meanwhile, after two seasons of embarrassing a Rock n' Roll legacy already tarnished by crappy 90's rock ballads, Steven Tyler announced that he was leaving the show to get back to Aerosmith, although very few people care about a new Aerosmith album.

Then there's Jennifer Lopez, who is "torn" about whether she's returning. She's either legitimately torn or she's angling for a big payday to stay on as the only returning judge. Possibly in the running to take over one or all three judges' seats: Adam Lambert, Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj, Fergie, will.i.am and Katy Perry, none of whom could convince anyone who doesn't to watch "AI" (OK. Maybe Nicki Minaj, just to see the crazy).

It should be noted that "American Idol" abdicated the throne its long held as the top-rated show on television last year (it was narrowly defeated by Sunday night football), and the ratings on the show have declined each year in the past five or six, losing nearly half of its peak audience as both "American Idol" fatigue has set in, and the crap load of other singing competitions -- "X Factor" and "The Voice" among the biggies -- continues to eat in to its audience.

What is for certain is that Ryan Seacrest will remain for at least two more years, shilling for Coca Cola products and Ford Focus until his metal coating finally begins to rust and he's traded in for a new model.


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