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The Only Reason Not to Watch Sarah Palin's New TLC Docu-Series Is If You Hate Freedom

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (48)



palin--300x300.jpg

How did I just find out about this? Sarah Palin has a new documentary series on TLC, which debuts on November 14th. It’s about bears and skiing, and probably machine gunning to death moose from a helicopter, and about keeping your daughters away from boys until they get knocked up, and then it’s about forcing them to get married to keep the squeaky clean family image alive.

Seriously: It looks as though the whole crazy clan will participate in the doc, although the only time you’ll see Bristol in the trailer is in a family shot near the end, and of course, she’s way back in the rear, so not to remind you of the shame she brought on the family. That reminds me: If you haven’t heard Ben Folds’ new album, lyrics written by Nick Hornby, you ought at least give a listen to Levi Johnson’s Blues. It is fan-fucking-tastic.

Here’s the television advert for Sarah Palin’s series, Alaska. I don’t know if this, or that fake Eli Roth Clown trailer is more terrifying.









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Comments

Why did they do the kiddie freakshow ending family pose for this series? Is she pregnant again? Is Bristol pregnant again? Are they adopting a baby moose or perhaps some bear cubs?

If the whole thing is about her brood rather than the beauty of Alaska, I'm out. Why would I expect TLC to do something smart with a tabloid-like figure when they can just go with schlocky family drama? One day I'll learn not to get my hopes up for actual educational content on this channel again.

Posted by: Robert at October 20, 2010 11:05 AM

Remember when TLC was intelligent, educative and good?

Remember when politics didn't play out like reality TV?

Remember when we wanted the best and brightest leading us and not just someone who was like us?

Posted by: Fredo at October 20, 2010 11:13 AM

Goddamn GI Joe Miller ad on the side. Is nothing sacred anymore?

Posted by: Scully at October 20, 2010 11:13 AM

She'd rather watch bears wrestle than run her state from "some stuffy office?"

God I want to fuck this lady.

Posted by: Kballs at October 20, 2010 11:16 AM

Let me clarify:

My penis stops her mouth from speaking which helps all of us, and I get to bang a hot older lady who smells like freshly fallen snow and play-doh.

Posted by: Kballs at October 20, 2010 11:20 AM

A question to the political types: While Palin is not currently a candidate for office (wink, wink) what happens when she officially declares that she's running for president? TLC will have to pull the show off the air, but would she have to pay for that exposure? Can she use clips from the show in her ads or on her website? Can the show be sold on DVD during her campaign? Can her campaign or her supporters hand out DVDs? This level of exposure is invaluable, especially since she will no doubt maintain strict editorial control so as always to appear in the best light.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at October 20, 2010 11:24 AM

"Levi Johnston's Blues" IS fantastic, though I will say Hornby doesn't seem to know the difference between writing lyrics and writing short stories, and he should most definitely stick to the latter.

Posted by: ChristianH at October 20, 2010 11:28 AM

Tracer I am hoping every single day for a Palin/ O'Donnell 2012 ticket. Oh the hilarity!

I bet Palin & Co could find a way to incorporate her TLC show for political exposure. But on the other hand, can you imagine all the outtakes TLC will have in the library? All her narcissism and ego and stupidity right there on tape? It just takes one Obama fan at TLC to leak those tapes to the press and all the publicity in the world won’t help her.

Posted by: Scully at October 20, 2010 11:32 AM

The show is only eight weeks long, so I doubt it would interfere with a run for President, if she were to make such a run.
Which if she were, then she would be prevented from camping in the Alaskan wilderness during the time she was on the campaign trail, or sequestered in the White House if she won, and she said she'd rather be camping than politicking, which is t he first non-political, intelligent thing I've heard her say.

Posted by: Rykker at October 20, 2010 11:32 AM

Tracer, I'm not sure but I think TLC (or whichever production company TLC bought this series from) would have to approve the use of this show and/or its clips as campaign materials before the Palin camp would be able to use them for anything. Which probably wouldn't happen unless the Palins bought the whole series off of the network and that's not cheap.

Posted by: JenVegas at October 20, 2010 11:36 AM

Tracer:

I'm sure by 2012, the Roberts Court will have decided it's perfectly acceptable for candidates to reap exposure from TV reality shows and have those shows run concurrently with the campaign....as long as those candidates are GOP.

Posted by: PaddyDog at October 20, 2010 11:37 AM

by Frank J. Fleming

AMERICANS: “So, the economy is pretty bad and there’s high employment. You think you can do something about that?”

DEMOCRATS AND OBAMA: “We can spend a trillion dollars we don’t have on pork and stuff.”

AMERICANS: “No … that’s not what we want. We’d really like you not to do that.”

DEMOCRATS: “You’re stupid. We’re doing it anyway.”

AMERICANS: “That’s not going to help us get jobs!”

DEMOCRATS: “Sure it will; millions of them … though they may be invisible. You’ll have to trust us they exist. And guess what else we’ll do: We’ll create a giant new government program to take over health care.”

AMERICANS: “That has nothing to do with jobs!”

DEMOCRATS: “We don’t care about that anymore. We really want a giant new health care program. We’re sure you’ll love it.”

AMERICANS: “Don’t pass that bill. You hear me? Absolutely do not pass that bill.”

DEMOCRATS: “Believe me; you’ll love it. It has … well, I don’t know what exactly is in the bill, but we’re sure it’s great.”

AMERICANS: “Listen to me: DO. NOT. PASS. THAT. BILL.”

DEMOCRATS: “You’re not the boss of me! We’re doing it anyway!”

AMERICANS: “Look what you did! Now the economy is way worse, we’re even deeper in debt, and we have a bunch of new laws we don’t want!”

DEMOCRATS: “You’re racist.”

AMERICANS: “Wha … How is that racist?”

DEMOCRATS: “Now you’re getting violent! Stop being violent and racist, you ignorant hillbillies! And remember to vote Democrat in November.”

Posted by: EricD at October 20, 2010 11:40 AM

EricD replace "Americans" with "Conservatives" and you might be a smidge closer to the truth.

Posted by: Scully at October 20, 2010 11:43 AM

And replace "Democrats" with "Liberals" and you will have the truth. I always chuckle about how terrified the libtards seem to be of Palin.

Posted by: ChrisV at October 20, 2010 11:51 AM

Tracer, Obama had two books out when he was running for President, as did John McCain. I suppose that's different than the exposure one gets from a TV show, but I'd think the rules for that would be the same. I understand you're coming at this from The Fairness Doctrine perspective, but I believe anything made before the actual campaign doesn't count.

Of course, I could be wrong. It happens from time to time.

Regardless of your politics, Sarah Palin would make a horrible president. I'm not saying "worse than [fill in your politically-biased president here]." I'm just saying she'd be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad leader of the free world.

Posted by: RobP at October 20, 2010 12:04 PM

I don't think I've ever heard someone imply people are racist for not wanting the stimulus bill and things like it. The racism comments are directed at Tea Party people, and they by no means represent all of America.

Posted by: a at October 20, 2010 12:04 PM

"I always chuckle about how terrified the libtards seem to be of Palin."

Do you? Do you always chuckle? O how cute.

But I always guffaw when I hear crap like this. Get your eyes and ears checked, man. That's not terror. That's pure unadulterated laughter. Chortling. Glee. Hilarity.


Hear that? It's me: laughing!

Posted by: klingonfree at October 20, 2010 12:05 PM

ChrisV,

Yes, Democrats are predominately liberal. Replacing "Democrats with Liberals" sounds like you're trying to use it as an insult which means you're just spouting rhetoric and have no idea what you're talking about. Especially using the phrase "libtard". You usually comment on Yahoo don't you? Where intelligent thought goes to die.

Posted by: Paultera at October 20, 2010 12:08 PM

All of Schwarzenegger's movies were pulled from TV during his campaign for Governor so I would assume that Palin's stuff wouldn't be allowed on if it's still running at the time.

Posted by: Paultera at October 20, 2010 12:10 PM

Give it up for Paultera for bringing in some facts!

Of course, if what you say is true, then when the time comes we'll get several comments from Palin's Facebook page along the lines of: "Lib media canceling my show = taking away my FREEDOM OF SPEECH!!!!!!!!!! ;)"

Posted by: RobP at October 20, 2010 12:18 PM

I'll say this for her, at least she's the only one willing to safeguard our constitutional right to arm bears.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 20, 2010 12:54 PM

I'm not about to get into a political debate on a movie/tv site suffice to say Novemember 2nd is just around the corner and it isn't going to go well for the Democrats thankfully. BTW, I lived and worked in Ithaca, NY so I got to see all the liberal idiocy close up.

Posted by: ChrisV at October 20, 2010 12:54 PM

Lib media canceling my show = taking away my FREEDOM OF SPEECH!!!!!!!!!! ;)

Except that her show is only eight weeks long.
Last air-date (LTC [Last TeleCast in TV terminology]) Jan., 02, 2011.

She can only claim "Foul" if TV execs cancel her show before then. Which would be well-after (many episodes BEFORE) MOST series are canceled, these days.

Cry us a river , Sarah.

Posted by: Rykker at October 20, 2010 1:01 PM

When Fred Thompson ran for President all his episodes of Law and order had to be taken off the air. Elizabeth Rohm (lesbian ADA) complained about loss of income.

Although, he was the first sitting Senator to be a regular on a tv show. Thank you imdb trivia. So maybe the rules are different for each Political position.

Posted by: kilmo at October 20, 2010 1:01 PM

"I'm not about to get into a political debate on a movie/tv site.."


Oh you didn't start any debate here, hoss.

Take your bullshit to the Fox News forums.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 20, 2010 1:03 PM

I'm always amused when the Palin Posse throws around their "libtards" nonsense. Can anyone actually explain what she represents without resorting to vague cliches about "values", "common sense" and that sort of meaningless drivel? Can anyone really describe what she would actually DO if she was elected to national office, or am I to believe her mere presence would suddenly create a huge wave of "common sense" that would magically wash away all problems? What is her platform, what genuine, concrete ideas has she proposed, what would she do differently and better if given the opportunity?

Posted by: JimmyCarterRules at October 20, 2010 1:33 PM

I've been monitoring the porn conversation in Dirty Talk this morning, but if Barbado Slim and RobP hadn't spoken up, I was seriously about to waste 2 hours posting on the economy here.

thanks, guys.

Posted by: Jackseppelin at October 20, 2010 1:33 PM

'I'd rather be out here bein' free.'....

Sweet sweet Jesus.

America must be full of dumb fucks.

Posted by: kingsize at October 20, 2010 1:34 PM

To tie a few posts together: Jackass 3D, with it's genuine (albeit hilariously twisted) efforts at entertaining the masses, has more to offer than this show will.

The Maverik-y Things Show will be funny...but not because it's trying to be.

Posted by: klingonfree at October 20, 2010 1:45 PM

Based on her past behavior, I expect her to quit her TLC show at around the four-week mark.

*Great Big Wink*

Posted by: Wednesday at October 20, 2010 1:49 PM

JimmyCarterRules There is nothing Palin and others have proposed. They are very good at talking about what they are against, but have absolutely no real plan for running the country. They (and by ‘they’ I mean Sarah Palin, Sharon Angle, Joe Miller, Christine O’Donnell, Rand Paul, Newt Gingrich and even the current Republicans in office like Boehner and Cantor whose earlier budget proposal contained no numbers!) love to spout “family values” and “small government” and “constitutional rights” and “trickle down economics” but god forbid they actually sit down with a real state budget and get specific. They are going to cut taxes and at the same time fix the deficit. By using magic!

Posted by: Scully at October 20, 2010 1:51 PM

Wow that was the first thing I've liked from Ben Folds in about 3 years. Insanely catchy.

Posted by: grace b at October 20, 2010 2:42 PM

I see Maverik-y people!

Posted by: colleen at October 20, 2010 2:50 PM

C'mon, that is really Tina Fey right??? It's a mockumentary? (Now that I would watch)...

Posted by: TrickyHD at October 20, 2010 4:16 PM

That's just super, Eric D. It's adorable how Republicans very sincerely don't know anything about the world around them. In all seriousness, in the 20 months since Obama's inauguration, have any of you ever - I mean ever, one single time - heard a Republican protest Obama or the Democrats on the basis of actual policies that exist in the real world rather than fantasy policies that exist only in their heads? I know I sure as fuck haven't.

Posted by: hector at October 20, 2010 5:16 PM

Not a fan of Palin or anything.

But the way most people on here will call anyone to the right stupid or in some cases be closer to calling them evil... Its just scary. If Palin proposed ANY idea, most people in here would dismiss it and be calling her stupid even if they agreed. She could be reading from the same script as Obama and 80% of people would not notice.

Not saying republicans are better. But how the hell do you have a actual discussion about politics when most people refuse to actually use their brain.

Posted by: Silchas Ruin at October 20, 2010 5:56 PM

Most of us are sick and tired tired of the Republican victim scenario (I know I am) I'm just not gonna put up with exchanging ideas with people whose only approach is hack/slash/whine. They've been doing it for decades. FUCK THEIR "family values" FUCK THEIR bigotry and FUCK THEIR propaganda.
When election time comes they should GO AHEAD and elect a bunch of lunatics and then elect that good for nothing opportunist from Alaska, see where that get gets us.

Then I guess they'll blame Clinton, again.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 20, 2010 6:40 PM

have any of you ever - I mean ever, one single time - heard a Republican protest Obama or the Democrats on the basis of actual policies that exist in the real world rather than fantasy policies that exist only in their heads?

wow hector. coming from someone that wants to push socialism, a system that hasn't worked anywhere. ever. it's just mindblowing in is irony.

hector

Posted by: EricD at October 20, 2010 7:33 PM

I don't believe all so-called "conservatives" are evil or stupid, which is why I resent being labeled a "libtard" because I'm not "one of them". I like to believe that my own political opinions, as well as those of my fellow citizens, are a bit more complicated and nuanced than just "rah rah, go team go". Speaking for myself, most of the people I know are neither ultra-rigid, Jeebuz-fearin' conservatives nor godless, welfare-leeching liberals with no moral compass. The idea that it really is that way and that I'd better pick a side just sickens me. To me, Palin is the epitome of that notion which is why I dislike her so much. She downplays the importance of intelligence, education and meaningful discourse in favor of slogans, conveinent faith and nebulous "values" and it's frightening how many supporters agree with her. At a time when this country desperately needs to break away from mindlessly partisan "team politics" it's instead becoming the norm.

Posted by: JimmyCarterRules at October 20, 2010 7:38 PM

"coming from someone that wants to push socialism, a system that hasn't worked anywhere. ever. it's just mindblowing in is irony."

Have you ever lived in a Socialist country, Eric? Have you ever spent a length of time in one? Because I grew up in a Communist country which later became Socialist. I was actually born during Military Law. And what we have today in America is so far from Socialism that comments like yours are hilarious to me. Do yourself a favor and turn off Fox News. Get some real information and come back when you're sane.

Posted by: Scully at October 20, 2010 7:45 PM

And what we have today in America is so far from Socialism

So because we aren't socialist now we shouldn't do anything to stop those dragging us toward socialism? I'm guessing that making arguements like this is why the left mostly sticks to just name calling.

Posted by: EricD at October 21, 2010 2:08 AM

BEAUTIFUL !
sugarmommadate----COM IS A CLUB FOR SUGAR MOMMAS AND YOUNG MEN./
=== Free to join ===
=== Mature women and young men ===

Posted by: CLONER at October 21, 2010 3:18 AM

Posted by: EricD at October 21, 2010 2:08 AM

I live in evil socialist Scandinavia and you're right, nothing works here. I wish I had time to write some more, but I have to pay my daily tribute to our Glorious Leader.

Posted by: ihatefreedomandpuppies at October 21, 2010 9:20 AM

Excellent point Cloner. This world would be much more beautiful if men and women, Republicans and Democrats, could all just be more mature.

Posted by: Paultera at October 21, 2010 9:50 AM

"If Palin proposed ANY idea, most people in here would dismiss it and be calling her stupid even if they agreed."

The operative word here being IF. Palin has not proposed any, so your contention is moot.

As for calling out the stupidity and hypocrisy sprouted by the Republican Party and its followers--what, us liberals should turn the other cheek to the people who have spent last 50 years turning the word "liberal" into an epithet (while collecting Social Security, Medicare, unemployment benefits, just to point out a few). F8ck that.

Posted by: True_Blue at October 21, 2010 3:56 PM

"I'd rather be out here than in an office."

By all means, Sarah. Stay out of [the] office!

Posted by: samantha t at October 22, 2010 4:45 PM

"I'd rather be out here than in an office."

If more likely when she runs for office I will get the video and audio of her saying that and post it everywhere online. For someone who was running for Vice President to say that is alarming. I do not care what party or group you are with politically. A statement like that by someone who would be potentially next in line to be President. Come on if any elected official voted out of office or making the comment after an unsuccessful campaign shows their character and where they stand. From that statement alone it should tell many of us (if she runs again) to not support her.

Posted by: Jon at November 7, 2010 11:49 PM

Quote:
by Robert H. Goetz, Sr., posted Nov 18th 2010
The People who are bashing Bristol Palin are the same "Compassionate" liberals, who have taken-out their outright "FEAR" and "HATRED" for Sarah Palin, on her Daughter. Liberal "HATE" for all that is good, knows no boundaries... It is because we as conservatives, show the distiction between the two!

BTW the word is distinction.
Really, you people use any chance, related or not, to call our President Hitler, accuse him of being a member of Islam (btw most are fine upstanding people, unlike those who spew hate about our President), spread the lie that he wasn't born in the USA. You call yourselves "Good Christians" yet you cast stones at Obama who is a Good Christian. Keep listening to them, they are pros at mind control.

You say that you are family value, God first people, yet you vote for people who cheat on their spouses at every turn, rob the middle class blind, while feeding you crap about how they want to help everyone. Everyone to them is someone who makes a million a year or more. They do what the big corporations who buy their support, want them to do, while stomping on the people who blindly support them.

You think you are so good and fair, yet vote for a woman who should have been off the show by a best week 3. The people who are good, reward those who are the best. Jennifer Grey may have had past experience, years ago, but today she is in her 50s, has several injuries that would stop most from continuing the show, and pushes herself to be the best, that is the type of person we should be supporting. The show is Dancing with the Stars, not Dancing with an non star. Bristol’s only clam is that her mother was chosen by a desperate Republican Party, in hopes of getting the vote of those who supported Hillary Clinton, then later found they had run a woman who can't put two full coherent sentences together. The one thing is at least she is not a quitter like her mother is. I have nothing against Bristol, she didn’t pick who her mother is, though I hope she goes back to school, because right now, she is as clueless as her mother.
Sarah is a perfect example of the Republican Party. She was elected as governor, not having a clue what she was doing, a short time as Mayor of a small town doesn’t count. She used her power to tear down anyone who questioned her abilities and used her position to destroy anyone she had any beef with. Sarah and her husband were pro secessionist (they want Alaska to secede from the United States), yet you voted for her as a good American. She quit when she found out she could make millions with her book, showing her real devotion is not to you, but to herself. On her new show, she says “I’d rather be doin this, than in some sucky ole political office. I’d rather be out here being free”. Yeah that is someone I would vote for, NOT! She tells you right there that doesn’t want to be in a political office. There is nothing like a woman who has no understanding of the English language running this country. She sounds like she is 10 years old.

Go Jennifer!

Posted by: Photocrazy at November 18, 2010 10:03 AM