Hello out there in America! Your roving reporter is still here in La La Land doing the do and walking the walk, and listening to those stars talk the talk!
What natural-born killer would be the perfect fit for a powerhouse pic about man versus zombies? Zounds! Why, none other than Woody Harrelson, of course! The Wood Man has signed on to star in Zombieland, a fiendish-sounding horror comedy from Columbia and director Ruben Fleischer. The script is by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, the duo behind Spike’s “The Joe Schmo Show,” but these guys are anything but schmoes with the story they’ve cooked up. Woody will play a man named Albuquerque (was Truth or Consequences taken? I kid fellas!), who teams up with a comically mismatched partner in an attempt to survive when a zombie apocalypse overruns the world. If you think Woody knows about the munchies, wait until those zombies start eyeing his brains!!!
But good ol’ Scoop Carlson is hardly done with you this morning, loyal readers. It looks like Warner Bros. has its hands full this week: First a kerfuffle over Watchmen, and now a skirmish with an Indian company that’s spicier than curry! It seems that Bollywood’s own Mirchi Movies wants to put out a movie titled Hari Puttar: A Comedy of Terrors, but the ol’ WB isn’t gonna let them get one by. A Mirchi maven says that they registered the title in 2005, so it’s a little late for Warners to give them the old stink-eye, but Warners sez: Them’s fightin’ words! The studio has begun legal proceedings against the company, and this one could go the distance.
From “The O.C.” to “Yes sir!”: Ben McKenzie signed this week to play the title role in the film version of Dalton Trumbo’s Johnny Got His Gun, based on the one-man show that Ben’s been treading the boards with. The film will be locked and loaded into American theaters this fall, beginning with an Austin bow in September followed by a national platform.
Somebody call a Lion-tamer! Rumor has swirled this week over a possible sale of MGM, but the Lion roared back on Monday by saying it’s not for sale, though it did acknowledge it’s retained Goldman Sachs for the pursuit of capital enhancements. Though there’s no asking price on the table, GS is likely to go calling in the Middle East and up Wall Street way looking for an investor. That’s one hungry feline!
Sasso lassoes another one! The portly powerhouse of comedy, known for “Mad TV,” is leading the charge for National Lampoon’s latest feature, The Legend of Awesomest Maximus, a super-skewering of sword-and-sandal slashers like 300 and its ilk. The comedy’s cast also counts among its members the dishy Kristanna Loken and the delightful Ian Ziering.
This morning’s trailer watch brings a blast: Here’s the clip for next year’s Fast & Furious, the fourth installment in the cars-and-cops adventure pic series. From the looks of it, they took a couple words out of the original title to make room for more high-octane thrills!
The hits just keep on coming this morning. (You can thank me later!) Here’s a look at The Transporter 3, an actioner that’s fast and furious in its own right:
Daniel Carlson is the managing editor of Pajiba and a low-level employee at a Hollywood industry magazine. He has been reading trade papers for so long he can no longer feel it when another part of his soul succumbs to the rot and falls off, and he gets so depressed thinking about how shitty all these “professional” writers are that some days it’s all he can do not to cash it all in and start a fight club or become a carpenter or really do anything he can to prove to himself and whoever’s listening that life is still happening, and it can be better than this. You can visit his blog, Slowly Going Bald.
Hey, totally off-topic here, but did you actually see how Robert Downey Jr. took a stab at The Dark Knight? Downey actually stated this:
"My whole thing is that I saw 'The Dark Knight'. I feel like I'm dumb because I feel like I don't get how many things that are so smart. It's like a Ferrari engine of storytelling and script writing and I'm like, 'That's not my idea of what I want to see in a movie.' I loved 'The Prestige' but didn't understand 'The Dark Knight'. Didn't get it, still can't tell you what happened in the movie, what happened to the character and in the end they need him to be a bad guy. I'm like, 'I get it. This is so high brow and so fucking smart, I clearly need a college education to understand this movie.' You know what? Fuck DC comics. That's all I have to say and that's where I'm really coming from."
All I'm gonna say is that Downey is a little bitchy that TDK totally beat the shit out of Iron Man by a hundred million. I know Downey Jr. is a respected person here on this site, and I do agree and all, but I just think that that was a cheap shot in general. I mean, both films were good and all, but I just thought that was a little f to the ucked up, and that the bastard should've been a tad more humble. I mean, Ledger's Joker alone was better than Tony fuckin' Stark.
Just thought I'd throw that out there. Hope you pull through Daniel!
Posted by: Riley at August 26, 2008 6:35 AM
Would somebody be so kind as to alert me when the "shirtless Jason Statham frenzy" dies down? I gotta go grab another Egg McMuffin and ponder the state of my abs...
Posted by: Che Grovera at August 26, 2008 6:49 AM
Oh dear, Daniel's speaking like a prick from the 50's. This can't be good. Someone bring me 100cc of Whiskey, stat!
Any normal fan-boy would gladly say "fuck DC comics". It's a natural reaction to their dipshit, scatter-shot approach to continuity and character. The most continuity they ever achieved ever was in the Waid/Augustin Flash of the late 90's, and then somehow they strung 2 Batman movies together which plausibly existed in the same universe as each other.
It's not about box office envy: it's about joy in movie making. I think Downey's exactly right, and all you crazy people who think Heath Ledger's Joker is the sine qua non of box office art need to live a little. It's a comic book movie -- and I can't take my kids to see it. Does that make any sense at all? How do you explain to a 7 year old that sure, it's Batman -- but it's too violent and you're not ready for that. It's too weird and too much like the worst parts of life without enough redemption to let you watch.
I am totally with Downey on the F* DC Comics. They have wrecked comics as a kids' hobby, and The Dark Knight is the giant crapberry on their diabolical sundae scheme to turn fun little tales of suspence and adventure into existential porn.
Yes: you're very introspective and you've had a hard life, Bruse Wayne. Now stop acting like an asshole and do what the rest of us do: deal with it.
Posted by: hater from siloam springs at August 26, 2008 7:46 AM
Maybe it's the time of day but "ol' Scoop Carlson" really caught me off-guard. But I'm a sucker for old timey talk.
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at August 26, 2008 7:49 AM
cheers, heddy. thanks for that.
Posted by: causaubon at August 26, 2008 8:06 AM
Heehee, you may have lost your mind, Dan, but you did it with panache! Hmm, Zombieland might have Shaun of the Dead-style potential, but I don't dare get my hopes up. Wait, Woody's character's name is Albuquerque? Uh-oh.
Also, this is completely off-topic, but I'm putting together a list of rare bird species for work, and found that the Latin name of the Grey-cheeked Thrush is Catharus minimus....So now I'm picturing a cute lil' songbird with a mutated turkey claw and a taste for whiskey, permanently affixed to Skittimus. Good grief...
Posted by: MO(meaux) at August 26, 2008 8:10 AM
Alburquerque?
Why not go with Pismo, or Hoboken?
hacks!
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 26, 2008 8:11 AM
Because, Slim, clearly the Zombie Apocalypse will originate in Roswell and the hacks need to bludgeon the audience with New Mexico references to get their point across...
Posted by: Che Grovera at August 26, 2008 8:25 AM
And let's just get this out of the way:
Any quote on quote "male" here who doesn't wet his Hanes at Transporter 3 and Fast & Furious is ....mmm...less than heterosexual.
So go home, and listen to your Wham! and the latwest Elton John poof-fest, again.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 26, 2008 8:35 AM
Fast Furious looks like too much awesomeness for this lady to handle.
Posted by: Pea at August 26, 2008 8:45 AM
who teams up with a comically mismatched partner in an attempt to survive when a zombie apocalypse
Mm. Saw it two years ago, when it was Shaun of the Dead. It was great. (Although Woody Harrelson + Sharon Stone fighting zombies, I would have to see.
It's a comic book movie -- and I can't take my kids to see it. Does that make any sense at all?
Yes. It makes perfect sense. Also see: Sin City, 300, Watchmen, V for Vendetta....
... and give me a break, like that's going to make me think anything about RDJ. He's still on permanent win from 'Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang' and 'A Scanner Darkly.' He could punch me in the face and call my mother a whore.
Posted by: twig at August 26, 2008 8:50 AM
Oh BSlim, you poor misguided fool. A REAL man could dance around to "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" while wearing the short-shorts from the video as he waits for his frosted tips to set, and not sweat his pantywaist over what it might say about his sexuality.
Honestly, from a woman's perspective, the more a guy rants about what makes other guys appear homosexual, the more he makes himself look like a paranoid, self-hating fairy. And also a complete asshole, since there isn't a damn thing wrong with being gay in the first place.
It's a comic book movie -- and I can't take my kids to see it. Does that make any sense at all?
------------------------------------------------
My 6 year old nephew saw Dark Knight. While I'll admit my brother became a little worried during the whole pencil trick scene, overall my nephew loved it. He watched it for Batman and all his cool toys and the only thing that really scared him was Two Face. As far as the violence goes, like you said it's a comic book movie and comics are all about kicking ass. Spiderman was not as "real" as Batman, but I don't doubt it had the same amount of violence.
Posted by: TO at August 26, 2008 9:10 AM
Honestly, from a woman's perspective, the more a guy rants about what makes other guys appear homosexual, the more he makes himself look like a paranoid, self-hating fairy. And also a complete asshole, since there isn't a damn thing wrong with being gay in the first place.
I know this much is true.
Posted by: Cindy at August 26, 2008 9:10 AM
Sarina, do you have a right side of the bed to wake up on? For the sake of us in your reading audience I sure hope not...
Gotta throw in with you on the whole sexuality thing. For the love of Sweet Sexy Jesus I will never understand why being called "gay" is supposed to be the most horrific, nuclear-tipped guy insult imaginable. Some (but by no means all) of the best human beings I've known have been gay, and some of the worst suffering I've seen human beings endure has been in efforts to suppress their own sexual identity. Gay stereotypes are no different than any other stereotypes -- they may hold a nugget of truth but that is too often obscured by a toxic layer of hate.
So are you saying that I need to be waiting for my frosted tips to set? No wonder...
Posted by: Che Grovera at August 26, 2008 9:12 AM
Cindy, are you trying to imply something about the Kemps?!?!
Any quote on quote "male" here who doesn't wet his Hanes at Transporter 3 and Fast & Furious is ....mmm...less than heterosexual.
Alas, I am no longer able to prove my masculinity. They took down the videos.
Daniel, if you can no longer feel it when another (or the last considering what you wrote above) piece of you soul falls into the abyss, then how do you know when another piece falls or that you can no longer feel it happen? Also, do you get a raise or a promotion at your day job now that you have finally converted over tot he dark side?
Posted by: Brian at August 26, 2008 9:18 AM
Damn I lost my comment...
Again: Sarina you are spot on!
I grew up amongst a lot of those "Don't look at me like that you homo or I'll kick your ass! (wanna get together later and masturbate in a circle?)" types. I loved messing with their tiny brains and telling them to 'get a room' when they got into it, or refer to their fights as 'lovers quarrels'. I just figured whenever I made one of those empty heads explode, another fairy got his wings...
Posted by: Pants at August 26, 2008 9:20 AM
Hear hear, Sarina and Che. Wish I had something to contribute, but you guys said it too well!
Posted by: MO(meaux) at August 26, 2008 9:24 AM
Am I the only one who found this round-up weirdly depressing? Style-wise, I mean.
Posted by: Marra at August 26, 2008 9:24 AM
Twig, somehow the stars aligned and allowed those two nuggets of Downey goodness to fall in my mailbox on the same day. The resulting night was a Downey-gasm of Downsmic proportions. How can any man compare to that one-two punch?
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at August 26, 2008 9:33 AM
Am I the only one who found this round-up weirdly depressing? Style-wise, I mean.
I think we were supposed to Marra. Like watching a friend succumb to an illness.
Posted by: Brian at August 26, 2008 9:33 AM
Jay, not since I saw them playing the Kray brothers . Scary!
Does anyone else feel monumentally sad for the actors involved in Fast & Furious: Too Fast for "and" and Too Furious for "the"? I mean, you've got to be painfully aware of the sorry state of your career to rejoin the fourth installation of a crap-fest like that. Perhaps monumentally sad is overstating a bit (okay, a lot), considering I'd be feelings sad for wastes of acting space like Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster.
Do you know how I know you're gay? You're hot and bothered by a shirtless Jason Statham.
Posted by: amanda47 at August 26, 2008 9:44 AM
Good one, Jay! I haven't thought about the Kemps in years now, but I had SUCH a thing for Martin back in the day!! Now I need to rent The Krays to get a fix . . . . .
Posted by: SCG at August 26, 2008 9:52 AM
I seriously had to keep checking the byline to see who wrote this. I really thought I was on the wrong webpage, reading Jackie Harvey.... Deep breaths, Dan, deep breaths.
So, I finally read "Watchmen", which is by the way really really good if there's anybody left in the world who hasn't read it besides me, and I'm all looking forward to the movie and stuff.... Does this mean Fox is gonna be a dick about it?
Also, why is National Lampoon still allowed to make movies? They stopped making funny ones a long time ago.
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at August 26, 2008 10:01 AM
As a Sex and the City, Mamma Mia, musical-loving staff sergeant in "the world's greatest Air Force" I feel I'm somewhat uniquely qualified to weigh-in on the current melee.
Again, Sarina and Che, well said. BSlim, did you know the size of the can of worms you were opening when you espoused such bollocks? I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say no.
I do my part in trying to influence at least some of the military members I work with by helping them understand that the ridiculous "don't ask, don't tell" policy is just that...ridiculous.
(climbs down from high horse)
Let's just treat everyone equally, shall we?
Oh and BTW, rather predictably, I love George Michael AND Elton John. I swear I must've been gay in a previous life.
Nothing like taking a trip to bizarro world first thing in the morning...
Posted by: Just Amanda at August 26, 2008 10:04 AM
Oh, amanda47. What about this thread made you think that gay-baiting would pass unnoticed?
When Slim chooses to issue a press release regarding his sexuality, we can all revel in the rightness or wrongness of our speculation. Since I'm not aware of that happening, it doesn't seem to me that responding in kind to him advances the discussion. At. All.
I have learned that Slim is many things in my short time here: omnipresent, omniscient...and in all likelihood, omnisexual. 'Nuff said.
Posted by: Che Grovera at August 26, 2008 10:07 AM
Horrible, horrible job, Scoop. Ya lacked verve, ya lacked zazz, ya lacked heart. Don't ever come into this office again, ya hear me! You're through, you're finished! You'll never work in this town again, boy-o! Hit the bricks and call your mother, because you're on the first bus back to Boise if you keep it up! Ya hear me?!
(Thank you, Daniel, for making it ok for me to talk like I belong in another decade. It's liberating to make full sentences and speak with outdated cliches. I feel like John McCain doing stand up. Well, maybe not McCain, he's douchey.)
I stand alone here in being someone who never cared for Robert Downey, Junior. I think he's an adequate actor, sometimes quite a good one, but his personality has always turned me off so it doesn't surprise me that he would be ungracious about Dark Knight.
I'll be in my trench for the rest of the morning dodging the grenades.
Posted by: PaddyDog at August 26, 2008 10:16 AM
Boogs:
I had no idea you worked for the Royal Canadian Air Force. Wow!
Posted by: PaddyDog at August 26, 2008 10:18 AM
Alburquerque?
Why not go with Pismo, or Hoboken?
hacks!
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 26, 2008 8:11 AM
I don't know about anyone else, but when I read that, I thought to myself, "Self, how are they going to make a cool nickname out of Albuquerque?" And my mind immediately replied, "Alby!"
And now I can't stop singing Alby, the Racist Dragon, which is a clever song, but only the first four or five hundred times it plays in your head.
Thanks a heap, Self. You were always such an asshole.
Posted by: Mella at August 26, 2008 10:30 AM
I like the cut of your jib, go go go. Stick with me kid, and you're gonna be a star. A bright, shining star. Now listen here...you're gonna need a gimmick. Somethin' that'll keep you fresh in the eyes of the public. *snaps fingers* I got it! How 'bout you hike up your skirt to your knees and show off those precious gams to all the lucky gents that walk by, huh? Bet you'll get plenty of wealthy loves then! Maybe even a deal in moving pictures. You know, that's how Veronica Lake got her start!
(If I keep talking like this, I'm afraid I'll lose my job and/or be institutionalized.)
Posted by: Three-nineteen at August 26, 2008 10:35 AM
I don't know why they need to make another version of Johnny Got His Gun. The first one contained the memorable line, "I'm the boss, here's the champagne, merry Christmas" repeated several times over...don't see how you can do better than that.
Posted by: Genevieve at August 26, 2008 10:35 AM
SO, I'm the only one who noticed the obvious homosexual nature of the phrase "quote ON quote" ?
I mean, it was staring me right in the face; it'd take a defective detective to miss hooking that snapper.
Hookin' a snapper? Sound like Errol Flynn at the Coconut Grove last nigh....GAH!
(bangs head against wall...is all right now.)
Phew. With that unplesantness aside...
Genevieve, don't forget Donald Sutherland as Jesus playing poker.
Three-nineteen, is there ever NOT to watch L.A. Confidential? (Don't forget kids, there's a new 2 disc'r coming out with the Kiefer Sutherland TV pilot included!)
Warner Brothers, I plugged your double dip on L.A. Confidential. Can you fucking release Half Blood Prince in November now? This shit isn't funny!
I think he's an adequate actor, sometimes quite a good one, but his personality has always turned me off so it doesn't surprise me that he would be ungracious about Dark Knight.
So few people entertain me to any reliable degree that the ones that do have no obligation to me to be at all decent human beings in their off time.
RDJ could eat live kittens on his front lawn and I wouldn't care.
The collary to this is that Rob Liefeld makes one vaguely substantiated remark about Alan Moore and I want to fling him into the sun.
Posted by: twig at August 26, 2008 10:49 AM
Riley, didn't we all talk that quote to death a week or two ago?...
Posted by: b at August 26, 2008 10:51 AM
TO, your brother is a dipshit. He along with the six other parents too cheap and/or stupid to get a fucking babysitter at the 10:30 showing are all dipshits and need to get a pencil stabbed through their forehead.
Taking a child to see a dark, violent movie is singularly the most fucking horrible, selfish move that I constantly see parents doing. I saw a dad with two kids younger than six or seven in 28 Weeks Later. My father let me see Chucky when I was 2- I'm still scared of that fucking doll.
The joker scared the shit out of me. I haven't been scared by a movie villain since I don't know, almost ten or twelve years. And it was the evil guy in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?.
Let's just put it this way: when the Zopocolypse comes, I'll be the one stabbing your brother in the leg and leaving him as a screaming, bleeding distraction for the zombies to eat him ALIVE.
I'm in a shit mood this morning. Eh Skitt, how about you?
Posted by: Jaci at August 26, 2008 10:56 AM
I think Daniel needs his exclamation marks surgically removed. It's the only way to save him!
Off topic, but just to mention that over at the Pajiba t-shirts thread, there's a few of us who are concerned that it's been over a month, we don't have our shirts yet, and the email given for enquiries doesn't work. Does anyone have any info on the shirt sitch?
Posted by: Tarn at August 26, 2008 10:58 AM
Honestly, from a woman's perspective, the more a guy rants about what makes other guys appear homosexual, the more he makes himself look like a paranoid, self-hating fairy. And also a complete asshole, since there isn't a damn thing wrong with being gay in the first place.
Posted by: Sarina at August 26, 2008 8:53 AM
----------------------------------------------
Hey BarbadoSlim-
Do you know how I know you're gay? You're hot and bothered by a shirtless Jason Statham.
Posted by: amanda47 at August 26, 2008 9:44 AM
---------------------------------------------
So it's a threesome then.
Sweeeeeeet, but I'm not buying the beer.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 26, 2008 11:06 AM
Ahh, the calls that must have been made during the casting of Fast:Furious IV. I'm assuming it was a prerecorded thing
"Hello (insert name here). It has come to our attention that the last (insert number here) of movies you have been in have sucked/tanked. Please accept our invitation to be in this crappy fourth installment. We'll pay you whatever we damn well please, because what the hell else are you going to do star in another movie with (insert the following: Uwe Boll, children, a duck)? We'll see you on Monday."
Posted by: MrCreosote at August 26, 2008 11:12 AM
So it's a threesome then.
Sweeeeeeet, but I'm not buying the beer.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 26, 2008 11:06 AM
Like no other.
*shake head, sigh, laugh under my breath*
Posted by: Che Grovera at August 26, 2008 11:18 AM
Whoa, Jaci - I think it's about time to settle down.
And just for clarification, my brother took his son to see Dark Knight on a weekday afternoon. I think I would stab my own brother if he fell into that asshole-parent category.
I'm with you on the Joker as scariest villan ever, but keep in mind a 6 year old takes things at face value - to him Two Face is the scary guy because he LOOKS the part. It's highly unlikely my nephew stays up at night because the Joker kills with no reason or purpose...he's just a bit too young to get that.
And as a side note - the only movie that's scarred my nephew is Ghostbusters II. Poor kid was terrified to use the toilet or take a bath. Is there anyone in the audience who thinks parents deserve to be castrated for letting their kids watch that?
Posted by: TO at August 26, 2008 11:19 AM
Twig:
I get your point about separating entertainment from the individual, but I just can't do it. Example: I used to love P.D. James' books. She wrote entertaining and compelling mysteries that frequently were complicated enough that one didn't always guess "whodunnit" too early in the book. I read everything she wrote. Then I read her autobiography and discovered her to be a nasty old Tory bitch and since then I can't even watch the PBS adaptations of her books let alone bring myself to purchase any new books. I just can't get past it when I dislike someone: I am small-minded I suppose. I can still acknowledge that the person has talent, but I can't get into their work anymore. It's an affliction.
Posted by: PaddyDog at August 26, 2008 11:19 AM
I am small-minded I suppose. I can still acknowledge that the person has talent, but I can't get into their work anymore. It's an affliction.
I wouldn't say you're 'small-minded'. If anything, I consider myself particularly shallow for putting entertainment > damn near everything else on my life values scale.
Also, I don't exactly stick to my guns. Ask me the last time I read an Orson Scott Card novel.
Posted by: twig at August 26, 2008 11:24 AM
I think siloam springs makes some damn good points. The Dark Knight is not a movie meant for kids, and wasn't made for them since it had an 'R' rating. So we have to assume it was meant for adults. Now what adults have to ask themselves is "Why are we watching movies about cartoon super-heroes?" It's fucking ridiculous. Our society is in some sort of bizarre stage of arrested development, and refuse to recognize it in the name of 'entertainment.' We need to turn away from all of this mind numbing bullshit and go outside or some shit.
Posted by: mark at August 26, 2008 11:55 AM
"I get your point about separating entertainment from the individual, but I just can't do it."
Mel Gibson - completely ruined for me now that I know he's an anti-semetic douchebag.
This could be a good mini-diversion: Whose actual personality has completely ruined their appeal as an actor/author?
Posted by: Popsi_zen at August 26, 2008 12:05 PM
TO- you're brother is a jackass and Jaci is so right. Fuck that, 'he's too young to get why the Joker's scary' bullshit. He, oh, I don't know, KILLS PEOPLE VIOLENTLY. That may have been a goddamn clue to the kid. And Two-Face was scary-looking and what kid should have to have nightmares about that? None.
What the fuck is wrong with parents these days? Oh, I know: they are too goddamn lazy to bother screening a violent movie that has a rating warning them about taking their kids to see it. They tell you not to take your kids to see it. What, you can't watch it first, then take the kids? It's goddamn lazy and inconsiderate, that's what it is, of the kids and of other people. I had to sit through a poor six year old WHIMPERING through Spiderman 3 because the Sandman and Venom scared him but his goddamn mouthbreathing parents were too engrossed in the movie to bother, comforting him or, you know, leaving before he needed THERAPY. No wonder kids are so entitled and spoiled. They're just mimicing the actions of the morons caring for them. It's so fucking simple to do and people are too damn lazy.
Goddamn.
I started watching scary movies with my mom at 8. And she screened them first so if there was a scene that might be too much for me, we could skip it. That's why I love horror movies now and I'm not a pussy about it, like these kids will be.
Fuck humanity. Bring on the Zombies.
Posted by: TWoP Fan at August 26, 2008 12:19 PM
Mark - I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure Dark Knight is rated PG13, not R.
I find it odd you want people to "turn away from all of this mind numbing bullshit and go outside" and you're using Dark Knight as a basis...? Um, okay.
Posted by: TO at August 26, 2008 12:29 PM
Wow! Everyone is very sensitive today, no? I'm not a parent so I'm open to criticism here, but didn't we all watch violent cartoons when we were little, to very minimal lasting effect? Daily, I watched Tom beat the shit out of Jerry with blunt objects. I watched Elmer Fudd pursue Daffy, Bugs and co with a shot gun that would make Dick Cheney look like a pussy, and I watched Wiley create sophisticated explosive combinations to catch RoadRunner that would make Osama bin Laden weak at the knees with jealousy. Point being, I and my siblings and peers were able to separate fiction from reality. I understand there's a difference between animation and live action, but it's still comic book entertainment.
Posted by: PaddyDog at August 26, 2008 12:32 PM
I agree with you about Mel Gibson, Popsi_zen.
Posted by: popejenn at August 26, 2008 12:34 PM
Don't forget kids, there's a new 2 disc'r coming out with the Kiefer Sutherland TV pilot included!
For reals? When?
Posted by: Brian at August 26, 2008 12:34 PM
"their diabolical sundae scheme to turn fun little tales of suspence and adventure into existential porn."
Fun little tales, really?
Give me existential porn any day over "fun little tales."
Posted by: Recondite at August 26, 2008 12:54 PM
TWoP - don't confuse the parents of the whimpering 6 year old you were sitting next to with my brother. There's a HUGE difference between them.
Those parents are the jackasses. No child should be brought to a movie that they can't handle. That being said, as far as my nephew is concerned he doesn't fall into that category. He's seen Spiderman, Pirates, War of the Worlds, Transformers - none of which have caused him to whimper or be terrified.
Like I said before the only movie that "got" to him was Ghostbusters II and I'm curious, did your mom screen and fast forward through that movie?
Posted by: TO at August 26, 2008 1:08 PM
Now what adults have to ask themselves is "Why are we watching movies about cartoon super-heroes?" It's fucking ridiculous.
Yes, and Beowulf was written in...?
Anyone?
Posted by: twig at August 26, 2008 1:09 PM
Paddydog, please let me weigh in on the whole kid-at-scary-movies thing. As with most parenting decisions, it all depends on the kid. My 8-year-old has recently developed some night fears, including dreams based on violent characters he's seen in movies and programs with a measure of verisimilitude. Cartoon violence doesn't bother him - it's the more "real" stuff that gets him. I refused to take him to TDK for this reason. Two years ago, it would not have bothered him. (He still would've stayed home - images like that can come back later and bite you. And date night is sacrosanct.)
As for little kids in the theater - I am proudly the asshole who gets up and asks the parent to deal with it, or I have the usher escort them out. Yes it sucks to have the social life so confined, but it's part of the deal. Suck it up.
Posted by: sweetpea at August 26, 2008 1:11 PM
Firstly, a collective breath. Breathe in, breathe out, punch something.
My goodness people! It's Tuesday. Heading into a long weekend. I realize that Daniel's overly saccharine round up has people wound up but look at the blood on this page?! RDJ, violence loving comics, bad parents, and yes, the gays!
BSlim Thanks for the beer. What time should I come over? I prefer a devil's threeway. You know Jason was a diver right?
Che I have absolutely no desire to bait a gay. I wouldn't know what lure to use (ha ha ha!!) although perhaps I should ask the girl grinding against me saturday night (over 30 + sports loving = lesbian nowadays). I was trying to make a 40 yr old Virgin joke, which I realize may just be a three year old joke. I apologize and I will not stab you 20 times with a knife.
Posted by: amanda47 at August 26, 2008 1:15 PM
ok, i am a parent and i took my son to see The Dark Knight--he's 12--and i don't think there was anything wrong with it. at all. even a little. we both loved the movie and we didn't think there was anything scary about it. at all. even a little. of course, i didn't find it to be especially dark or violent either, so maybe i'm just that twisted. or maybe i live in a world that can be much darker and scarier than a movie about a man who wears a bat suit.
or maybe i'm just a mouth breathing idiot.
Posted by: pq at August 26, 2008 1:15 PM
Re: all this bitching about a "comic book movie" being taken so seriously:
Did you know that opera was once sneered at and looked down upon as mindless entertainment for the masses? Did you know that the narrative form we now know as the novel was likewise derided and dismissed when it was new by the arbiters of good taste?
When you dismiss a work because of its source material, you completely miss the point.
TDK, like Batman Begins, is a very complex and engaging film, with more narrative depth than 99% of the pap Hollywood grinds out (not to mention completely wonderful performances by the entire cast).
This is coming from a person who generally doesn't like comics or "graphic novels" and who has read exactly three--Speigelman's Maus, the Firefly series, and Watchmen (just finished it; fucking awesome).
From those readings I still can't say that I find the medium very attractive--I'd still rather read a novel--but I have to admit that "comics" have been around long enough to mature, and to be capable of producing substantive material with relevance and, yes, occasionally true art.
Posted by: Jerce at August 26, 2008 1:30 PM
The woman in front of me at TDK brought her daughter - maybe 5 or 6 years old - and the poor kiddo started to cry when the Batman wannabe's hanging carcass hit the plate glass window smeared in greasepaint. She continued to cry for the remainder of the film, her tears finally muffled when she hid under her theater seat after Two-Face made his appearance.
I have never been so tempted to kick a person in the back of the head before. I wanted to watch this woman spit blood. I got a babysitter for my daughter, why couldn't she? May that mother have years of sleepless nights for being such a selfish bitch.
Posted by: bibliophile at August 26, 2008 1:32 PM
pq:
i also don't think that there is anything wrong with taking a 12 year-old to see Dark Knight. i think the secret is knowing your children and what their maturity level is.
i'm the first child of hippies and so consequently i was a big experiment for them. they had a kind of "let's-feed-this-kid-everything-and-see-what-happens" attitude to raising me. books and movies that i was encouraged to read or see, or at least wasn't stopped from reading or seeing, by the age of 10 (the Delacorta series Diva, Nana, Luna and Lola springs to mind) were kept from my siblings until they were much older. not that i was more mature than my siblings (although eldest children tend to be), but i think my parents realised that perhaps they had been a little too liberal with my upbringing and consequently toned it down a bit with the others.
Posted by: causaubon at August 26, 2008 1:41 PM
Speaking of Art and Artist, in reverse though, remember when Aaron Eckhart showed up in "In The Company Of Men"? He had a woman say he hated him. He said, "No, you hate Chad" and she said "No, I hate you". Tough way to make a first impression.
As for adult-level superheroes, adults needs myths and legends too, and always have. I know I do.
And can I recommend professor Timothy Shutt's ancient/medieval literature lectures in the Modern Scholar audiobook series? Rich, informative, geeky fun with a very enthusiastic teacher.
I agree with everything Jerce said. Except for the part about having read those three series, because I've never read a comic book or a graphic novel. I still think it's a perfectly valid art medium, though. In fact, I think it's a medium that's pretty consistently delivered some fantastic storytelling for more than half a century, as evidenced by the iconic status of so many characters and plot lines.
Beyond the scope of comic books, though, I think the reason people tend to get in a snit about parents bringing kids to arguably inappropriate films is because we don't care if the specific kids are mature or well-adjusted enough to handle the material. We're more concerned with the fact that we've forked over $10 of our hard-earned money and two hours of our precious time to see a movie, and we don't appreciate interruptions. Most (not all, but most) kids have a tendency to create interruptions. Here's a list of common shit kids do:
Scream
Cry
Whine
Ask a bazillion questions
Kick
Hit
Bite
Fidget
Eat noisily
Spill things
Throw things
Vomit randomly
Even well-behaved kids will do this stuff sometimes, because they're still kids so they're dumb and loud and smelly and high-maintenance and kind of like a cross between a zombie and a rampaging dinosaur. This doesn't always make them bad children, and the fact that they sometimes act like kids doesn't automatically make their parents bad people.
All of this does, however, tend to make a kid a goddamn inappropriate audience member for a movie not playing at 4:30 on a weekend with a plot about cartoon animals. If you are a person who is in possession of a tiny tot and you wish to attempt to herd that critter into a questionable film choice, it is your responsibility to be prepared to haul that thing out of there and take it home and put it back in its cage when it starts acting up, because otherwise you are a selfish, shitty and useless human being who is ruining the experience for everyone else, and teaching your kid to suck at life in the process.
As a fully licensed physician, I hereby declare an epidemic. An epidemic of acute crabbiness. It seems the condition is limited to Pajiba so far, but in the interest of keeping this illness contained, I must quarantine Pajibaland and its neighboring burroughs.
I recommend a strict liquor and Ryan Reynolds regimen until all symptoms of crabbiness disappear. If you or a loved one should exhibit signs of crabbiness, please report directly to your liquor cabinet post-haste. Time is of the essence, people. Lives are at stake.
Posted by: Mella at August 26, 2008 2:33 PM
Sarina, they even do that type of shit during a movie targeted at them...I dealt with a kid and her mother asking stupid questions and saying stupid things during Wall-E. People are just generally annoying at the movies.
Agreed on the last part though...there should be a strict "your kid, your problem" policy in movie theaters. Well done.
I'm all for the liquor, but please no Ryan Reynolds, please. He does nothing for me.
Posted by: PaddyDog at August 26, 2008 2:49 PM
Clearly, Paddy, you've not had enough liquor. Do as the doctor says, my dear.
I promise, RyRey is always the cure for what ails you.
Posted by: Mella at August 26, 2008 2:51 PM
Oh, I know I've said this here before, but I'll say it a-fucking-gain -- Terry's eight. He saw it with us on opening fucking day and he fucking loved it.
He is not preternaturally mature, he does not have an unnaturally high tolerance for scary material.
And half the time the kids doing said annoying/stabby-making things have a gallon of caffinated soda, a bucket of popcorn and a bag of candy bigger than their head.
And I thought TDK was much more complex and detailed than many of the movies that are taken seriously. Crash and the English Patient, I'm looking at you.
TO- Ghostbusters II? The slime that tried to get people under the streets? Yeah, that could freak a kid out. And kids do not need a reason to be scared of the tub. The first one was pretty scary in spots for me. Something about the dogs coming to life from the stones. Maybe too zombie like? I honestly don't know when I saw that, I'd say early teens? But I saw Halloween at 16 and slept with the light on for a damn week, so what do I know?
Posted by: TWoP Fan at August 26, 2008 4:08 PM
Naw, Batman was in heavy latex and foam and Catwoman was in some kinda vinyl.
Crash and the English Patient, I'm looking at you.
@ twig: Do you mean when was Beowulf composed, or when was it written down?
Posted by: magic8ball at August 26, 2008 6:33 PM
After the hell that the movie industry has recently created for anyone with a modicum of talent, we might as well let our minds atrophy from the shitty offerings this fall. Seriously, there hasn't been a decent flick in ages. Even TDK sort of bored me in the middle until Heath showed up and pretty much saved it. Bale's voice in the film nearly ruined it for me!
but Pajiba was moderating comments and didn't let me print it.
I saw that yesterday too, but I noticed it was the April 1 "moderation" page, like a friggin ghost. So I wrote my comment again, after wondering if it was worth publishing in the first place, then deciding to do it anyway, and it was gone.
Are there some gremlins in this thing now? Spambot industrial espionage? And then this morning I was clicking on Matt Damon and nothing was happening! Tryin to make me crack, huh?
Hey, totally off-topic here, but did you actually see how Robert Downey Jr. took a stab at The Dark Knight? Downey actually stated this:
"My whole thing is that I saw 'The Dark Knight'. I feel like I'm dumb because I feel like I don't get how many things that are so smart. It's like a Ferrari engine of storytelling and script writing and I'm like, 'That's not my idea of what I want to see in a movie.' I loved 'The Prestige' but didn't understand 'The Dark Knight'. Didn't get it, still can't tell you what happened in the movie, what happened to the character and in the end they need him to be a bad guy. I'm like, 'I get it. This is so high brow and so fucking smart, I clearly need a college education to understand this movie.' You know what? Fuck DC comics. That's all I have to say and that's where I'm really coming from."
All I'm gonna say is that Downey is a little bitchy that TDK totally beat the shit out of Iron Man by a hundred million. I know Downey Jr. is a respected person here on this site, and I do agree and all, but I just think that that was a cheap shot in general. I mean, both films were good and all, but I just thought that was a little f to the ucked up, and that the bastard should've been a tad more humble. I mean, Ledger's Joker alone was better than Tony fuckin' Stark.
Just thought I'd throw that out there. Hope you pull through Daniel!