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The Muppets: And You Thought the Smurfs Movie Looked Bad

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (30)

kermit the frog muppet muppets muppet movie 2011 jim henson.jpg

There’s a new Muppet movie coming out in November, but it’s been largely flying under the radar. We’ve got a picture of the poster for the film and the plot summary, both of which serve as evidence for why it’s been under the radar. Namely, it looks terrible.

Here’s the first shot of the poster. The only interesting part of it is the strange glowing distortion at the center, but don’t worry, I’m pretty sure that’s just a flash reflection from whoever snuck the photo. Posters like this are inexplicable enough when there are actors walking away from a point in different directions, but this just looks like someone took five dolls and arranged them that way. The magic of something like the Muppets is the way that something lifeless can be transformed into something bursting with life. This poster is magical because it manages to take something lifeless and make it seem even less lifelike.

muppets-poster-snap.jpg

Oh fine, the poster is hopelessly generic and pointless but it’s not outright offensive. Except for the tag line. “They’re closer than you think.” Are they suggesting that the Muppets are in my heart? Because I can assure them there’s nothing in there except for dust and a rabid miniature Wookie.

Here’s the summary of the film’s plot:

On vacation in Los Angeles, Walter, the world’s biggest Muppet fan, and his friends Gary (Jason Segel) and Mary (Amy Adams) from Smalltown, USA, discover the nefarious plan of oilman Tex Richman (Chris Cooper) to raze the Muppet Theater and drill for the oil recently discovered beneath the Muppets’ former stomping grounds. To stage The Greatest Muppet Telethon Ever and raise the $10 million needed to save the theater, Walter, Mary and Gary help Kermit reunite the Muppets, who have all gone their separate ways: Fozzie now performs with a Reno casino tribute band called the Moopets, Miss Piggy is a plus-size fashion editor at Vogue Paris, Animal is in a Santa Barbara clinic for anger management, and Gonzo is a high-powered plumbing magnate. With secret, signature, celebrity cameos, “The Muppets” hits the big screen Nov. 23, 2011.

Oh gosh, the bad company is going to tear down the youth center, we’ll raise money to save it by winning the all-valley basketball tournament!









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Comments

Sounds like the perfect Muppet Movie plot to me, it's sound akin to the first movie and a lot like one of there show too. I love the Muppets.

Posted by: Robet at May 16, 2011 10:09 AM

Is this news? I've known this is the story for months. Yeah, it's pretty cookie-cutter, but Muppets movies have never really been about the PLOT, have they?

Posted by: Paul Southworth at May 16, 2011 10:11 AM

The Inner Bastard just reminded me that there may have been an episode of The Muppet Show where, if I recall aright, Scooter's rich uncle who owned the theater decided to start drilling for oil on the property. I may be mistaken, but I recall scaffolding backstage, with Muppets wearing hardhats.

At least the Muppets are not being played by CGI-enhanced humans.

Posted by: The Wanderer at May 16, 2011 10:13 AM

So it's The Country Bears 2: The Muppets?

Posted by: Snath at May 16, 2011 10:13 AM

A couple of catchy tunes and some excellent corny jokes are all it will take for me. I haven't particularly liked a Muppet movie since Muppet Treasure Island, though. (Girlish Jim Hawkins notwithstanding.) Maybe I'm harder to please than I thought.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at May 16, 2011 10:19 AM

Jason Segel's writing it, too. I have faith. They released some photos of the dilapidated theater a while back and it looked great. I'm really looking forward to this one to see if they can bring The Muppets back from the straight-to-video bin.

Posted by: TylerDFC at May 16, 2011 10:24 AM

It really is a perfect plot for them. Great excuse to put on a show.

(Pedantic Side Note: Can we assemble a nerd council to figure out the proper spelling of Wookiee? I've always thought it was two E's. Wookieepedia backs that up but I'd be willing to accept one E if someone could provide a better source.)

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at May 16, 2011 10:37 AM

In a universe that has a planet called Kashyyyk, I would always er on the side of more vowels.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at May 16, 2011 10:39 AM

MUPPETS DON'T HAVE FEET!! At least not feet they walk on. Blasphemy!!

Posted by: Mrcreosote at May 16, 2011 10:40 AM

Mrcreosote: The very first Muppet movie showed a full-body Kermit riding a bike all over the place. They have feet. They've used their feet before. A lot.

Posted by: Gordon at May 16, 2011 10:45 AM

It's one of Los Angeles's major secrets that many of the "buildings" in the city are really just oil rigs in major urban disguise.

If the Muppets really wanted to beat the big bad oil mogul at his own game, they'd simply let resident psycho-pyrotechnic Crazy Harry strike a gusher with his hoard of TNT and just have the Fraggle Rock's Doozers maintain the pipes and collection of said black gold under the stage.

After that the Muppet Theater could host "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark" for the next 50 years if they wanted to and they'd still be filthy sock puppet rich.

Posted by: bleujayone at May 16, 2011 10:54 AM

You shut your filthy mouth, you big old meanie. The Muppets have made a career out of lampooning other styles of movies with puppets. Just because they're 20 years too late to save the ski center (though I think it's closer to 70 years too late to save the local summer stock from closing down) doesn't mean that they can't turn out a killer film based on an old plotline. Did you learn nothing from Muppet Treasure Island, which is perhaps the greatest puppet-based adaptation of that novel ever to reach the silver screen?

Posted by: Robert at May 16, 2011 10:54 AM

the plot is similar to Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo. Best. Title. Ever.

Posted by: dna at May 16, 2011 10:59 AM

Are they suggesting that the Muppets are in my heart?

I think Kermit may actually be my heart. But you can have Him too. There is enough Kermit to go around.


Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 16, 2011 11:01 AM

So, Miss Piggy & Kermit in the Judy Garland / Micky Rooney parts, right?

So, for cameos, how about Christopher Walken as the fallen angel / corporate tool who hammers Janice into Cat Woman? And (CGI / reanimated) Marlon Brando as Audrey?

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at May 16, 2011 11:04 AM

If the Muppets really wanted to beat the big bad oil mogul at his own game, they'd simply let resident psycho-pyrotechnic Crazy Harry strike a gusher with his hoard of TNT and just have the Fraggle Rock's Doozers maintain the pipes and collection of said black gold under the stage.

The logical followup would then be the Muppets using the previously learned oil excavating skills to save the Earth from a giant asteroid by detonating it from the inside. Animal would get space dementia, and assistance would arrive just in time from Piiiiiigs... iiiinnn... Spaaaaaaace.

Posted by: branded at May 16, 2011 11:13 AM

I just hope the muppets do all their own dancing. I don't think their reputation can withstand a Black Swan style controversy.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 16, 2011 11:13 AM

"The very first Muppet movie showed a full-body Kermit riding a bike all over the place."

Instant and eternal guffaw. I hope this time around he rides a bike wearing a yellow LiveStrong thingy on his wrist. Hahahaha.

Posted by: klingonfree at May 16, 2011 12:06 PM

What, pray tell, were you expecting from a Muppet Movie? Everything they do & everything that happens to them is a veiled excuse for putting on a show. Why else do Muppets exist?

Posted by: JenVegas at May 16, 2011 12:44 PM

Two words: Dracula musical.

Posted by: Arran at May 16, 2011 1:05 PM

@Arran

Only if they could borrow the Count from Sesame Street.

Posted by: Amandahugandkiss at May 16, 2011 1:08 PM

Is Walter one of the " secret, signature, celebrity cameos", so we can't know who plays him yet? Or is he a Muppet?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at May 16, 2011 2:25 PM

Do you think The Moopets are a secret, signature, celebrity shout-out to South Park? Could Stan or Kyle be one of the secret, signature, celebrity cameos?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at May 16, 2011 2:27 PM

Looks like muppet poo..


I don't get the Jason Segel love, at all.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 16, 2011 2:42 PM

@Three-nineteen - I'm pretty sure I've seen a still photo of Walter with Jason Segel, and he was a muppet. I'm also pretty sure I heard a rumor that Michael Cera is voicing him...so maybe he's actually a moppet.

I think this sounds exactly like the kind of story the muppets have done since the beginning of time, so it doesn't make me any less excited to see the movie than I was yesterday. I've already called dibs on taking my godson to see it so that I have an excuse to go even if none of my friends are into it (they all suck). Normally I have no problem seeing a movie alone, but something about going to what many view as a kids' movie alone seems creepy.

Another reason my mind is at ease about the movie: every time I've heard Segel speak about the muppets he is clearly a man with an obsession. He wouldn't want to see this thing that he loves so much destroyed. Also - did you not see Forgetting Sarah Marshall? I'm not worried.

Posted by: Nicole at May 16, 2011 3:04 PM

Will it have Michael Caine as Scrooge? Oh, they did that one already?

Well, then I think I'm set for life and this can safely continue under my radar. I'll notify my surface to air systems to disregard any Pigs In Space or Flying Chickens and retire to watch the episode where Fozzie learns to deal with Statler and Waldorf.

Posted by: Wintermute at May 16, 2011 3:51 PM

Sounds like standard Muppet method to me. With which I am OK. Maybe next time we review a poster, someone who understands the Muppets can be with us, eh?

Posted by: PissBoy at May 16, 2011 4:44 PM

Fuck you, Jason Segal is making this movie, therefore it will be golden.

Posted by: ChristianH at May 16, 2011 8:11 PM

You have many useful suggestions on this page.

Posted by: Team Pacific at June 3, 2011 5:36 AM

I am 100% going to see this in the cinema, and I'll go alone if I have to.

If there's no love in your heart for the Muppets, we can never be friends and/or lovers.

Posted by: Si at June 13, 2011 9:50 AM