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The Most Terrifying Entertainment Headline of 2011

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (11)

movieline-the-apartment.jpg

Don’t worry. It’s a false alarm. As Movieline notes, it’s just a live-reading hosted by Jason Reitman at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art. But Jesus, Movieline: You should include a defibrillator with that headline. Not nice. NOT NICE.

It’s not that Natalie Portman isn’t excellent for the role originally played by Shirley Maclaine. And Jake Johnson (“The New Girl”) is even a compelling C.C. Baxter (along with J.K. Simmons as Sheldrake), it’s just that you don’t remake The Apartment. A live reading? Fine. Go for it. I hope it’s for a great charity. And Reitman has plenty of Billy Wilder in him. But there are only a handful of perfect films in this world and The Apartment is a perfect film. The remake rights should come with a Poltergeist curse.

So let’s just hope this is as far as it goes. The Apartment is off limits, even to the likes of Reitman and Portman. OK?









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Comments

This scared the shit out of me. The Apartment is my favorite movie, and the movie I always put in when I'm feeling blue. Two days after my Dad died, I was up with insomnia. It was like 3:10 in the morning. Not 3:00, not 3:30 - not a normal time for a movie to be starting. I turned on the TV, and what movie starts playing immediately on Cinemax? The Apartment. Why would they be playing a 51 year old movie on the channel known for playing soft core porn after midnight? Who knows! Why would it just be starting at a weird time, instead of on the hour or the half hour? I can't say. But it was like the universe was trying to give me a little pick me up.

Posted by: Cree83 at November 17, 2011 10:03 AM

I remember catching The Apartment during the holidays one year. Such a beautiful, perfect and funny movie. Lightning in a bottle.

So yeah, Reitman, go no further.

Posted by: Fredo at November 17, 2011 10:06 AM

There will never be a need to remake anything originally made by Billy Wilder. The man is behind some of my all time favorites (Some Like it Hot, Sunset Boulevard, and of course, The Apartment).

Posted by: Carolina Girl at November 17, 2011 10:12 AM

Jack Lemmon made a lot of perfect films.

Posted by: TheOtherGreg at November 17, 2011 10:24 AM

Now you've done it. Everyone knows that as soon as you put the idea out there, it instantly goes into development.

Posted by: Berva at November 17, 2011 10:41 AM

I'm just going to assume you many J. K. Simmons...

Posted by: McSquish at November 17, 2011 10:44 AM

*meant*

I did that on porpoise to make you feel better.

Posted by: McSquish at November 17, 2011 10:45 AM

"It’s not that Natalie Portman isn’t excellent for the role originally played by Shirley Maclaine."

Dustin, gonna beg to differ with you on this one. Ugh.

Posted by: samantha t at November 17, 2011 10:58 AM

The Apartment? Never heard of it.

Posted by: logan at November 17, 2011 12:52 PM

logan, it was (if I recall correctly) 1960's Best Picture winner. And it is absolutely marvelous. It's Mad Men without the nostalgia - it's just a great, hilarious and also deeply heartbreaking look inside the heartlessness of corporate greed and the frailties of human insecurity. It is THE perfect film.

Portman shouldn't even be mentioned in the same SENTENCE as Shirley Maclaine. Perish the thought. I'll wait. Go perish it. NOW.

Shirley had spunk, pathos, and charm. Portman is . . . pretty? I guess?

Seriously, you sad clowns who know not of the delights of this film - Go. Now. Leave work. Pop some popcorn. Pour a glass of wine. Cuddle up under a blanket. Hit "play." Realize how empty your life was before Jack Lemmon taught you how to love again. What a mensch. :)

Posted by: Tammy at November 17, 2011 2:35 PM

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Posted by: rihanna lyrics at November 24, 2011 3:08 AM