This week, in Brad Pitt news, word is out that Pitt will be starring in a movie that’s neither a remake nor a sequel, so it’s already an unusual entry into our industry coverage. A few months ago, he and his Plan B production company bought the rights to David Grann’s forthcoming book, The Lost City of Z. It’s about explorer Colonel Percy Harrison Fawcett, who in 1925, traveled to the Amazon in search of an advanced civilization. He and his son, Jack, disappeared, and were never seen again. Pitt will play Fawcett. Director James Gray (We Own the Night) has been attached as director, which is kind of unfortunate because We Own the Night kind of blew. The one interesting note is that Fawcett was apparently the inspiration for Indiana Jones.
In other Brad Pitt news, a couple of new photos from the set of Quentin Tarantino’s Inglorious Basterds have come out. I don’t have much to offer, except to say that I hope this is Tarantino’s version of Stripes. It’s been a while since we had a good military comedy.
Also Pitt releated: Wes Anderson recently directed Brad Pitt in a Japanese cell phone commercial. It certainly looks like a Wes Anderson piece, but otherwise, I can’t make any goddamn sense of it.
Finally, because this is how Monday’s should start, here’s Mr. Pitt vs. James Gandolfini:
Giant robots, video games, and putting famous people in nonsensical commercials.
This is why I love Japan.
It has nothing to do with dirty manga?
Posted by: branded at December 15, 2008 10:42 AM
It has nothing to do with dirty manga?
You're going to have to be more specific than 'dirty'.
A lot more specific. Japan has fetishes I don't think other countries even have words for.
Posted by: twig at December 15, 2008 10:43 AM
But none of them involve pandas. No, that's as natural as the wind.
Posted by: jM at December 15, 2008 10:46 AM
I was a different girl before I found out what hentai was.
Posted by: Julie at December 15, 2008 10:46 AM
Nobody can hate on the Pitt -- or his paramour, for that matter, but that's another story -- in my presence; and clips like the above from True Romance are just a tiny sample of why I will defend the man until I die. And that's just as an actor. Then there's the architecture -- dude knows his shit.
You want to know why he left Aniston? Check out her dating choices post-Pitt. Now check out his range of interests. He is so far fucking out of her league, he must have been high the ENTIRE TIME they were dating, engaged and married. Hell, meeting Jolie and realising there was at least ONE woman in Hollywood whose interests included something beyond shopping, eating lunch and going to the motherfucking beach must have been such a monumental RELIEF, Brad Pitt couldn't have left Aniston FAST ENOUGH.
Yeah, yeah, she's DARLING.
She's also about as deep as my 9 year old's favourite book -- the one about Bobby and how he learned an important lesson about sharing.
What are you talking about...everyone loves hentai!!!
And I'm sure there are some panda fetishes right up your alley, jM...
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at December 15, 2008 10:56 AM
You're going to have to be more specific than 'dirty'.
Seriously.
But none of them involve pandas. No, that's as natural as the wind.
You obviously haven't been looking hard enough.
I was a different girl before I found out what hentai was.
A Lifetime Original Movie: "What Are Those Tentacles Doing To That Sailor Girl?", The Julie Story.
Posted by: Vermillion at December 15, 2008 10:58 AM
"...couldn't have left Aniston FAST ENOUGH."
Eh...I'm still holding out for the jello wrestling cage match. It's the only real way to settle things once and for all. And for the ladies...the winner then gets to wrestle Brad.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at December 15, 2008 10:59 AM
Wait...that was a Lifetime movie? I thought Julie had finally come over to the dark side...
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at December 15, 2008 11:01 AM
"What Are Those Tentacles Doing To That Sailor Girl?", The Julie Story.
Ha ha ha ha ha!!! :sobs:
Shadows, that is one dark side I can never turn to. Neva! I may be a filthy beast, but seeing just one picture of lady on octopus sex almost killed my brain.
Posted by: Julie at December 15, 2008 11:07 AM
That's nothing...I've seen the reverse...octopus lady with unwilling guy. Now that's traumatic.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at December 15, 2008 11:10 AM
I was a different girl before I found out what hentai was.
I fucking hate google.
Posted by: J_Capri at December 15, 2008 11:12 AM
You're going to have to be more specific than 'dirty'.
Seriously.
I paint with broad brush strokes. That way you don't have plausible deniability, V, when I ask you if you like lactation, but you really prefer watersports.
(Seriously, the hentai wiki is all kinds of disturbing)
Posted by: branded at December 15, 2008 11:14 AM
Anniston only has to be deep in one special place for me, if you get my drift.
Posted by: bucdaddy at December 15, 2008 11:16 AM
Me too J_Capri. Curiosity WHAT the cat now? Oh that's right, it stomped all over its innocence with images of cephalopodic fucking.
Now that's traumatic.
Noooo...that's FUNNY. :p
Posted by: Julie at December 15, 2008 11:16 AM
Curiosity WHAT the cat now? Oh that's right, it stomped all over its innocence with images of cephalopodic fucking.
Winner! Heee!
Posted by: branded at December 15, 2008 11:17 AM
I was a different girl before I found out what hentai was.
I fucking hate google.
I hate my boyfriend's special drawer.
Posted by: jM at December 15, 2008 11:18 AM
Panda fetishes? Shadows, you seem to have the wrong idea about me. I'm just trying to save the pandas. I'd also try to save the polar bears, but polar bears are frigid.
Posted by: jM at December 15, 2008 11:25 AM
And tasty.
Posted by: admin at December 15, 2008 11:30 AM
And feel so good nestled against my scorching breasts.
Posted by: Julie at December 15, 2008 11:33 AM
I'd also try to save the polar bears, but polar bears are frigid.
They just need you to show them you're dedicated to making the relationship work beyond sex. I know a lot of polar bears that have been hurt one too many times by environmentalists who "save" them only to leave them because there's a whole world out there that needs "saving."
It's sick. Sick, I say.
Posted by: Macafee at December 15, 2008 11:34 AM
That commercial was kind of awesome. I don't know what it was for, but I enjoyed those 30 seconds quite a bit.
Posted by: ami at December 15, 2008 11:47 AM
Maybe the environmentalist just came out of a long period of "saving" and just wanted to have a little fun. She didn't expect the new "saving" to get serious so fast and ran out because, until she gets her shit together, she shouldn't be "saving" anything.
Posted by: jM at December 15, 2008 11:48 AM
Have you people ever considered therapy? It really does do wonders.
Also...if the environmentalists isn't ready to "save" the bear, she shouldn't be traveling in that Circle. She should just stay at home and watch the videos until she felt she was together enough to try to "save" it.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at December 15, 2008 12:01 PM
I'm just saying: Don't be so quick to place the blame on the polar bear.
Posted by: Macafee at December 15, 2008 12:05 PM
I hate my boyfriend's special drawer.
Well, Ping-Ling gets so lonely sometimes, and you are always out with "the girls"...and the zoo people said it would get him in the mood more than once a year...
I am just saying, don't judge him, because maybe he wants to give his special gift, instead of you always taking it...
Posted by: Vermillion at December 15, 2008 12:19 PM
I... am not even up to this conversation this morning.
And how come there's no love for the black bears? Oh, you love your submissive cuddly Asian bears and your frigid, yet enticing white bears, but there's no love for the black bears? I see where this is going.
It's going towards the inevitable conclusion that all bears are godless killing machines.
Oh, you love your submissive cuddly Asian bears and your frigid, yet enticing white bears, but there's no love for the black bears? I see where this is going.
Now that is not fair. It's not my fault that white bears taste better than black bears due to their steady diet of baby seals and Eskimos. All black bears eat are berries and tree bark. They taste terrible.
And don't get me started on Pandas. If I wanted Mu Shu chicken I would order Mu Shu chicken. How do you go into a restaurant and order Mu Shu bear that tastes like Mu Shu chicken. It's redundant.
But I do like Mu Shu.
Posted by: admin at December 15, 2008 12:58 PM
Pandas... to stupid to fuck to save themselves.
Posted by: hugeinjapan at December 15, 2008 1:06 PM
Oh god why did you people have to mention hentai? I could have happily lived the rest of my life without ever knowing it existed, but no... Innocently searching for porn one day, I come across this word.. "What is that? Animated pron? Oh, fun!" No. No no no no no. Not fun. Now I am scarred and attempting to repress and you people have brought it all screaming back to the surface.
Tell me more about the panda bears, jM!
Side note: a friend of mine went to Japan a few years ago. She found that they had vending machines with girls' dirty underpants in them. She actually witnessed a few dirty old men making use of these vending machines. Next time I have an urge to go to Japan, I've decided I'm just going to look at her photos instead.
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at December 15, 2008 1:14 PM
True Story...you can get anything you want out of a vending machine in Japan...
ANYYTHING
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at December 15, 2008 1:22 PM
Ick.
Pitt overload.
Posted by: figgy at December 15, 2008 1:24 PM
jM, I was actually ramping up to go on a mock-Pookie rant but couldn't sustain it. So I diverted to a Colbert Report reference and continued drinking my tea instead.
I will never understand the dirty underpants thing, but I'm a tiny bit glad it exists, only because it means if I ever get really hard up for cash I can sell my used panties on eBay to perverts to pay my rent. I look like I'm still in high school if I'm not wearing make-up, which is apparently a good thing in that market. Now excuse me, I have to go vomit.
True Story...you can get anything you want out of a vending machine in Japan...
ANYYTHING
Even pandas?
Posted by: jM at December 15, 2008 1:26 PM
Especially pandas.
Posted by: Macafee at December 15, 2008 1:27 PM
And dirty pictures of pandas...and pandas used underwear...
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at December 15, 2008 1:31 PM
tentacle porn?
Involving pandas?
Posted by: figgy at December 15, 2008 1:37 PM
So what's the exchange rate in ole Japan. Do they take Cosi club cards?
Posted by: jM at December 15, 2008 1:40 PM
tentacle porn?
The really love the Godtopus... like A LOT.
Posted by: jM at December 15, 2008 1:42 PM
I think it should be something like
dirty panties= 5,000 yen.
(eugh. I hate the word 'panties'. Argh typed it again.)
Posted by: figgy at December 15, 2008 1:42 PM
*They
Posted by: jM at December 15, 2008 1:44 PM
The never-released underground hentai of the Godtopus tentacle-raping a panda?
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at December 15, 2008 1:59 PM
Side note: a friend of mine went to Japan a few years ago. She found that they had vending machines with girls' dirty underpants in them.
I think it should be something like dirty panties= 5,000 yen.
Can you choose between moistened and unmoistened?
figgy may end up killing me, but it was worth it.
Posted by: branded at December 15, 2008 2:03 PM
Brilliant, branded. Sheer brilliance. However, I think you should also define moistened with what...
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at December 15, 2008 2:06 PM
Godtopus tentacle-raping a panda?
Eeee hee hee.
And HEY! I thought we all decided that moist panties are henceforth known as soggy beaverfrocks.
Posted by: Julie at December 15, 2008 2:07 PM
But I like moist panties. In more ways than one.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at December 15, 2008 2:16 PM
Maaaaan I NEED TO GO TO JAPAN!!!
there MUST be a source behind their insanity
I bet its super powers. I do! I bet when you guys dropped those bombs they mutated and their super powers where tobe fucking insane. and awesome
Posted by: nadine at December 15, 2008 2:17 PM
AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
*brain explodes*
Posted by: figgy at December 15, 2008 5:26 PM
twig, their fetishes include weird robotic machines penetrating females and empowered by their orgasms. i'm sure half of pajiba commenters know which manga anime im talking about...
Posted by: ph at December 15, 2008 5:30 PM
I feel damaged.
Posted by: Friday at December 15, 2008 5:33 PM
Once again, I feel like I took the wrong train or walked into the wrong house or something ...
I start off reading a post about Brad Pitt which quickly (a little TOO quickly, if you ask me) devolves into a critique on obscure Japanese sexual fetishes and panda porn ... AWWK-WARD.
That cell phone ad once again proves that Wes Anderson and Brad Pitt can do anything and make it funny.
Another big piece of Pitt news: Empire magazine just named Pitt's Tyler Durden (from Fight Club) the greatest movie character of all time! It's a ridiculous choice, but Pitt's gotta feel happy about it!
Posted by: Audiosuede at December 16, 2008 7:01 AM
And HEY! I thought we all decided that moist panties are henceforth known as soggy beaverfrocks.
Posted by: Julie at December 15, 2008 2:07 PM
That's only on Tuesdays, sometime after noon, once bucdaddy is finished with Anna von Beaverplatz...otherwise they're just laundry (outside of Japan).
Posted by: Che Grovera at December 16, 2008 8:36 AM
God damn i love these talkbacks. Polar Bear sex as a metaphore for sexual immaturity and racial discrimination, crazy octo-porn, and Brad Pitt. Ok, i'll go back to lurking now. lurk lurk
Is there any better way to get the week started than with a little Pitt?