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I Am the Lorax Who Speaks for the Trees

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (21)

kjhg-2.jpg

I suppose I should get all worked up about the fact that Universal Pictures — who already gave us the dreadful Cat in the Hat — have decided to turn another of Dr. Seuss’ books into a movie. But, really: How upset could I possibly get that they are adapting The Lorax into a 3D CGI feature. The Lorax? Go for it.

It helps, actually, that it comes from Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio, who are writing the adaptation and co-directing with Chris Renaud. Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio wrote the script for Horton Hears a Who, which was a surprisingly decent adaptation that remained faithful to the spirit of the book (so far, it’s also the only full-length movie my kid has seen).

An adaptation of The Lorax is apparently timely, because of the green themes. It’s about a greedy entrepreneur who, despite warnings from the tree-loving Lorax, strips a forest of its stock of Truffula trees to manufacture clothing. The results are catastrophic as all the animals leave and nothing’s left. When it was released in 1971, the logging industry pitched a bitch-fit about it and tried to get it banned.

They should eschew the CGI and just get Wilfred Brimley to play the Lorax.









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Comments

(I will get all worked up)


someone please finger my asshole and tell me that I am dreaming......
they are remaking a children's book? What a novel concept!

Posted by: badalamenti at July 29, 2009 6:07 PM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. This is my favorite Seuss book. I know it by heart. ("At the far end of town where the grickle-grass grows and the wind smells slow and sour when it blows"....I'm not joking, I know the whole thing nearly verbatim.) Damn you hollywood, DAMN YOU.

Posted by: s. pisaster at July 29, 2009 6:09 PM

Please let it be Wilfred Brimley nekkid as the day he was born, leaping through fields of flowers whilst a gentle breeze tickles his mustache. Please let it be Wilfred Brimley nekkid as the day he was born, leaping through fields of flowers whilst a gentle breeze tickles his mustache. Please let it be Wilfred Brimley nekkid as the day he was born, leaping through fields of flowers whilst a gentle breeze tickles his mustache. Please let it be Wilfred Brimley nekkid as the day he was born, leaping through fields of flowers whilst a gentle breeze tickles his mustache.

...

Guess you know where I stand on this, huh?

Posted by: Skitz at July 29, 2009 6:12 PM

The Lorax isn't funny.

The Lorax shouldn't be funny.

Posted by: twig at July 29, 2009 6:19 PM

I mean what the hell is next, The Butter Battle Book?

Posted by: twig at July 29, 2009 6:20 PM

Skitz, you made me snort.

Fuck you.

Posted by: myysharona (formerly Sharon) at July 29, 2009 6:33 PM

Someone please make it stop. Must every childhood sweet be turned into a pickled herring lollipop?

Posted by: Cindy at July 29, 2009 7:48 PM

twig, you make the best point of all.

How many attempted laughs and modern day references are they going to cram into this film to make it "kid friendly" thus utterly destroying the book?

And does every freakin' new cartoon have to be in 3D?

Posted by: B-Unit at July 29, 2009 7:52 PM

They made The Butter Battle Book into an animated video. I have no idea when, but it was a staple of my childhood. It's a disarmingly heavy political allegory for young children, but I loved it as a kid.

Posted by: whatBENwatches at July 29, 2009 8:20 PM

Horton Hears a Who is very good. I've seen it 32 times in the past 29 days and it still isn't bothering me.

Tinkerbell on the other hand . . .

Posted by: Kballs at July 29, 2009 8:36 PM

I actually had a stuffed Lorax when I was a kid. And, my family tells me, something called a "Super Pickle" that I dragged around everywhere. I have no idea what that is and there doesn't seem to be any photographic evidence, so I've concluded my family is just fucking with me.

Bastards.

Posted by: Venture82 at July 29, 2009 8:55 PM

Kballs, so my nieces watch this shit ass Barbie version of Tinkerbell nonstop, involving things called "Twillerbees" or something retarded like that, anyway the sound effects of the fairy things flying is the most annoying sound I have ever heard in my life.

Fuck Tinkerbell for being created and leading to the fucking Mattel fucking ripoff of said movie.


Fuck, now I'm pissed just thinking of that horrible, horrible movie.

Fuck. (Thought I'd throw one more in for good measure.)

Posted by: ashes at July 29, 2009 9:03 PM

ashes: My daughter likes Vidia from the new "Tinkerbell". I think I should be worried considering that character is a total scheming bitch.

One more thing about "Horton". Anyone notice that Vlad the Vulture looks like a Skeksis? I enjoy that.

Posted by: Kballs at July 29, 2009 9:35 PM

To all the parents whose kids are watching this over-pixified crap and driving them crazy:
You're too late. If you had decided to raise your kids on interesting fare like the original Secret of NIMH (before Bakshi went completely to shit), Yellow Submarine, anything interesting and with some substance...I can guaran-damn-tee that they wouldn't be begging to watch Disney direct-to-DVD movies and insipid kids programming. Treat 'em smart, they'll be smart.


And quite possibly as jaded and sick as some of the motherfuckers on this site. Then, of course, the question is if you want your kids to be like Barbado Slim or Kballs. I don't think I'd mind. I would even ask them to edumacate me on the culture that I'm missing out on.

Posted by: Jim Doggie at July 29, 2009 10:04 PM

I mean what the hell is next, The Butter Battle Book?

Everybody Poops?

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at July 29, 2009 10:56 PM

Ah, I meant Everyone Poops. Crap.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at July 29, 2009 10:58 PM

The bad Vlad? Or the bunny who makes cookies?

Posted by: slower lower at July 29, 2009 11:04 PM

It’s about a greedy entrepreneur who, despite
(giving hundreds or thousands of people jobs and making products thousands or millions of people want and need, after creating the company with his own sweat and ingenuity, is gang-raped by Dr. Seuss and Hollywood).

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 29, 2009 11:31 PM

Actually, Thneeds were things that 'nobody, nobody, nobody needs.'

Kind of like destroying Yosemite Valley so we could all have our very own Slanket.

And then the jobs went away, because nobody ever thought to create a sustainable business plan. Like half of the goddamned Midwest.

I'll go hug a factory when Michigan gets some jobs back.

Posted by: twig at July 30, 2009 7:19 AM

arm the murdertank. the line has been crossed.
first roald dahl, now dr seuss. i'm ready.

Posted by: gem at July 30, 2009 9:53 AM

hehe thneed.

Posted by: buttercup at July 31, 2009 11:17 AM