'The Lone Ranger' Trailer Looks Decent Right Up Until the Moment Johnny Depp Shows Up With a Bird On His Head
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The Lone Ranger Trailer Looks Decent Right Up Until the Moment Johnny Depp Shows Up With a Bird On His Head

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | October 3, 2012 | Comments ()


Oh, look! It's that crazy Johnny Depp playing another weird character! What's that? A Native American with a bird on his head? Oh, OK. He's in what movie? The Lone Ranger? But ... oh, you already know that Depp is not actually Native American. Well, what about Armie Hammer, how is he? Yes, yes, that's his real name, and no, he's not related to the baking soda people (but his grandfather did found the Community party in New York). Anyway, he, well, he looks like a Disney character trying to act like a Tarantino character, if that makes any sense? It seems to be the tone the whole movie is going for: Gritty, but family friendly.

What do I think of the trailer? Oh, I dunno. It's OK, I guess. I'll probably see it, but that's not saying much; I went and saw Clash of the Titans and I had no obligation to do so.

Here's the trailer. The embed has a commercial. If you'd rather not watch the commercial, you can watch the trailer over on Apple's website.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Emily Weaver

    Oh God. The entire lead-up, I was just thinking "Please don't let Johnny Depp has a 'me Tonto, you white man' accent. Please give this character that *one* teeny little shred of dignity." Nope.

  • Idle Primate

    that smelled a lot like Wild Wild West. A very bad smell.

  • eat it

    Google I Am Crow. If you don't know, now you know.

  • Miss Laaw-yuhr

    I know some people are psyched, but irrespective of the Johnny Depp's bird on a head, this trailer gave me a very Wild Wild West vibe and we all know that was a colossal train wreck*.

    Also, is it just me or does Arnie Hammer seem very mummy-era Brendan Frazier?

    *pun fully intended.

  • L.O.V.E.

    I'm waiting for the record scratch, followed by a scene with the bird talking. Turns out this is the newest Disney Muppet movie all along.


    Two people, searching for love.
    One chance to go the distance.
    But sometimes you have to break your heart to find its other half.
    (Cue the New Radicals)
    Johnny Depp
    Armie Hammer
    Sam ... the Eagle?

  • danielwcarlson

    the hell did i just watch

  • stardust

    Anyone see my eyes? I rolled them so hard they fell out of my head and bounced off.

  • Sirilicious

    I don't think that last shot was supposed to make me giggle.

  • Pookie

    Someone needs to tell tonto that no matter how much he helps white people, they will never accept him.

  • Erich

    A period piece, with Helena Bonham Carter, and Johnny Depp in a stupid costume, and it ISN'T a Tim Burton movie??

  • John G.

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  • Fabius_Maximus

    Maybe that's why my computer freezes up for up to a minute every day when I first open an article on this site?

  • Mitchell Hundred

    I remember hearing somewhere that Depp actually is part Native, although it would be better if they had cast an actor who has a more direct connection to the heritage. Like Adam Beach or Graham Green or someone like that.

  • Baba O'R'lyeh

    Maybe, but no one is going to greenlight a $200 JABILLION DOLLAR production starring the Winkelvi and that guy Nic Cage was following around in Windtalkers.

  • junierizzle

    It looks good. Geez, people. Why so negative? Negativity will eat you alive.

  • bleujayone

    Was anyone else half-expecting John Carter of Mars to go bounding on by?

  • JenVegas

    No. But I totally did expect the train to speed past the cast of Hell On Wheels.

  • Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp but no Tim Burton?

    I'm suddenly interested in The Lone Ranger.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    I've been nursing this belief that Burton is afraid Johnny Depp will steal Helena Bonham Carter away from him, and so he casts them together so he can keep his eye on them.

  • BWeaves

    Was it my imagination, or did ILM get top billing over the actors?

    Also, don't native Americans pluck the feathers from the birds before sticking them (the feathers only) on their head?

    And where's the William Tell Overture? It's not right without the William Tell Overture.

  • Pookie

    I saw that also and for a split second I thought of Tonto as a jedi knight. He travels the untamed west dropping knowledge, unfortunately nobody can understand a word he says because he speaks broken English and he's a Indian.

  • John G.

    It's like most hollywood parties. Everything's going great until Johnny Depp shows up with a bird on his head.

  • Yocean

    Yes, thems are the eyes of a killer, a party killer.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Oh, Johnny Depp with a bird on his head ruins everything - dinners, award shows, stock car races, diving competitions (the feathers screw up the filters.)

    There we were one time having a perfectly fine Hunter S. Thompson anniversary-wake and Johnny Depp showed up with a bird on his head. Stupid bird pooped all over everything at the first explosion then caught fire & ran off lighting the underbrush for miles.

    Look, Johnny, don't bring someone if they can't handle themselves, even a bird, OK? Sheesh.

    Bad craziness.

  • zeke_the_pig

    Sounds like lyrics from a Steel Panther song.

  • TK

    Goddamnit, I can't look at Depp in this without thinking of this:

  • zeke_the_pig

    Lesson: you can have a £100m marketing budget to try and make your characters look cool in promos and that, but as long as there is a funny picture of Nicolas Cage somehow related to the imagery (and there always will be), all coolness is immediately displaced.

  • John G.

    The Laws of Nick Cage

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