The Live-Action Star Wars TV Show (That Will Never Happen) Finally Has A Name!
Are you ooooohhing? Any aahhhhhhing going on? No?
What if I told you it didn't have anything at all to do with Kate Beckinsale, or Kate Beckinsale in skintight
leather latex? Still, no?
What if I said it was going to look like this?
Well, it probably won't star any of those familiar faces (and helmet) or be based on the Dark Horse comic book of the same name. But what if I told you the title was meant to convey the seedy underbelly of the Star Wars galaxy, where the rogues -- the Solos, the Fetts, the Hutts, and the Calrissians -- like to get their hands space-dirty?
Since George Lucas took a big dump on his own mythos with the prequel trilogy, the stories of the people in between, and in the shadows, of the burgeoning empire and rebellion could easily make for more compelling television than the battle between the Jedi and the Sith. Hell, when dealing with bounty hunters, smugglers, and crooked politicians, it doesn't seem like much more than blasters and the occasional jetpack are really needed in the SFX department. So, surely, this live-action look into the dark ages between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope, which has been in the planning stages for years, is bound to hit airwaves sooner than later. Right?
Not so fast, laser-brain.
According to longtime Star Wars producer, and the guy most likely to own and wear the Slave Leia Bikini for the amusement of George Lucas, Rick McCallum, the show is still years away from happening.
"We have 50 of the most unbelievable scripts... [but] each one hour episode is bigger than any of the prequels were and they're complex, they're dark, they're adult. But right now, with the technology, there's no way we can do them."
I find the claim of fifty teleplays, which is not new, to be highly dubious. I especially doubt they're as "unbelievable" as McCallum says, even though I do expect a great number of them could be markedly better written than any of the prequels. The producer goes on to claim that each episode would cost $5 million to shoot, which is exactly one million cheaper than "Game of Thrones" cost per episode. But considering the aesthetic of the original trilogy, which they really ought to be pushing for on a weekly series, they could make the show cheaper than that. I suppose the number of different settings -- presuming the "world" in "Star Wars: Underworld" consists of more than one planet -- might embiggen the budget in many ways.
Still, something tells me this isn't going to ever happen. I imagine as technology expands, there will simply be more ways that Lucas will want to incorporate it, and the price will never actually go down. I wish someone could just tell him that Star Wars isn't supposed to look perfect. Not that a TV show directly from Lucasfilm is a good idea in any case, but a "Star Wars" serial, in general, could be.
(h/t The Mary Sue)
Rob Payne also writes the indie comic The Unstoppable Force, tweets on the Twitter @RobOfWar, and his ware can be purchased here (if you're into that sort of thing). He re-watched Empire Strikes Back again this weekend, and boy does he wish they still made movies like that.
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