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Now I Understand Why Elvis Shot His TV

By Seth Freilich | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (24)



the-defenders.jpg

It kinda happened a bit more quietly this year than in some other years, but lo and behold, the new fall season of television is upon us. Last week, the CW premiered “Nikita” (which Dustin rightly concludes is a low-rent piece of popcorn TV), and tonight sees the premiere of “Outlaws” (and the return of the now-on-Wednesday-nights “Survivor,” which has folks wet with anticipation as to what Jimmy Johnson will do when his perfectly sculpted helmet hair loses its sculpt - I predict his rage will lead to the uncontrollable murder of Probst, like Homer killing the Hamburgler).

What are the mostly hotly anticipated new fall shows? I don’t have the foggiest of an idea because I’ve been so god damn busy at my god damn stupid real life god damn job that I’m entirely disconnected from things. But in a little bit, I’ll give you the list of my most anticipated shows. But first, the least anticipated shows. And while I may be disconnected from the pulse of things, I can’t imagine there’s much room for debate or being wrong when it comes to this list (all of which premiere next week, which is when the networks have most of their new shows dropping, along with a great many returning show premieres).

5. Outsourced (premieres on September 23 at 9:30 p.m. on NBC). NBC is still a fucking mess, on the whole, as a network. But over the last few years, it’s managed to put together a few really great comedies. “The Office” and “30 Rock” are losing steam, yes (particularly the former), but each had a good period of time when an argument could be made that it was the best comedy on TV. And then there’s “Parks & Recreation,” which one could argue is the best comedy currently on TV. Except that it’s not fucking on! Because, instead, NBC decided to air this hot mess of a racist show. The idea of a show focused on an outsourced call center is fine. And done with half-a-fucking brain, it could be quite good. But the creators of this show appear to be in little more than making curry jokes. Laugh at the cultural disconnect, stay for the funny mispronunciations.

4. The Defenders (premieres on September 22 at 10 p.m. on CBS). Everytime I think that Jim Belushi is off my TV, they put him back on! Add in a heaping pile of Jerry O’Connel and you’ve got the best lawyer show ever because, see, they’re just crazy enough to be good at their jobs! …If I didn’t hate being a lawyer all on my own, this show would make me hate my profession by proxy.

3. Mike & Molly (premieres on September 20 at 9:30 p.m. on CBS). Fat is the new funny! Why should the Indian call centers get all the rote stereotype comedy? The fat guy looks like he’s pregnant. And he breaks tables with his girth. And he’s falling in love with the fat girl. Fat Love! Jesus, CBS, could you sink any lower?

(For some reason, the preview video isn’t embeddable. It’s your good luck because, trust me, the clip is two minutes of your life you wouldn’t get back.)

2. $#*! My Dad Says (premieres on September 23 at 8:30 p.m. on CBS). Turns out, CBS can sink lower — congrats on the hat trick, Eye. That’s right, television audience, you loved the Twitter feed, now watch it on TV. With William Shatner foregoing acting to play a stereotype of someone putting on a stereotyped Shatner impression, he’s crass and kooky, and who knows what he’ll say next? You will, if you tune in next Thursday to find out! …Of course, you’ll forget the kooky shit he says five minutes into the show, when you find yourself taking your own life. But those five minutes will be something!

1. Outsourced. Seriously, fuck this show right in its stereotyped ear.









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Comments

The only one of these I will see is Outsourced. Because I think it's on after Community and I have nothing better to do while waiting for The Office and 30 Rock. But if it's as horrible as I think it will be I'll likely read during the break in subsequent weeks. Why, oh WHY, didn't they just give a full season order to Parks & Rec? Fucking morons. I swear if NBC schedulefucks that series into cancellation I'm going to firebomb Comcast. But, I may do that anyway because I hate them.

Posted by: TylerDFC at September 15, 2010 1:59 PM

Aw hell no. CBS is not putting Survivor against Top Model. Bastards. And I wanted to see the "old" people kick ass. Instead, I'll settle for "old" "models" on harnesses doing catwalk high above the ground.

Posted by: Robert at September 15, 2010 1:59 PM

Whatwhatwhatwhatwhat? Where is my Parks and Rec now bursting with Adam Scott flavor? This is just a travesty. Imma never eating curry again.

I didn't mean that curry. You're delicious. I could never quit you.

Posted by: coveredinbees at September 15, 2010 2:04 PM

Tyler, it's your lucky day. The NBC schedule is Community, 30 Rock, The Office then Outsourced. You can enjoy your Thursday nites Outsourced free!

Posted by: Petrie at September 15, 2010 2:15 PM

Not looking forward to any new police/courtroom dramas. Sorry Jimmy Smits, but you're headed back to fail.

Posted by: GinKirk at September 15, 2010 2:21 PM

RE: Mike & Molly
At least it's not yet another show featuring a fatass blue-collar shlub married to a slender hottie.
Those shows give fatass shlubs like me a false sense of hope.

Posted by: The Kilted Yaksman at September 15, 2010 2:25 PM

Yeah, quit hoping for stuff all you schlubby fucks!!!

Posted by: Kballs at September 15, 2010 2:29 PM

Re: Parks & Rec I think it only got a half season because Amy Poehler done gots knocked up and couldn't film anything in time for the fall season.

I dunno. I heard that somewhere. I can't remember where.

Posted by: JenVegas at September 15, 2010 2:41 PM

I heard that too Jen Vegas, but it makes me so sad. I just hope next year they give me a full season because Parks & Rec is seriously the funniest thing on network tv.

Posted by: AlannaJudith at September 15, 2010 2:50 PM

I was curious to see how they were gonna say the name of the show "Shit my dad says" on TV and now I see they really are saying "Bleep my dad says". Thank god web 2.0 is making people's creativity accessible worldwide so that we can have new kinds of entertainment on TV, right?

You know what would be hilarious? A show about stupid people making a show about a Twitter feed! But that would be too absurd, we need something more grounded.

Posted by: zito at September 15, 2010 2:50 PM

Jim Belushi was great in The Ghostwriter.

There, I said it.

I feel so dirty.

And not the good kind of dirty sung of in myth and legend and Cinemax.

Get it off! Get it off!

And not the good kind of getting it off.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at September 15, 2010 2:56 PM

Ooh hey, isn't Survivor starting today?

Posted by: figgy at September 15, 2010 2:57 PM

TylerDFC,

Your post made me sad. :(

Posted by: Snackwell at September 15, 2010 2:58 PM

On the plus side I just last night saw a trailer for a show called The Walking Dead. I know nothing about it except that the preview had my beloved Egg (Andrew Linton) from This Life in it. WooHoo!

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 15, 2010 2:59 PM

The Outsourced nonsense is reminding me of the New Castle Brown Ale commercials on Comedy Central's website. It's enough to make me not want to want the Daily Show or Colbert Report. Making fun of curries and accents and then having the tagline "the lighter side of dark" is not okay.

Boo.

Posted by: Estelle at September 15, 2010 3:21 PM

Just relaying what I heard form a fairly reliable source, but apparently the Amy Poehler pregnancy had nothing to do with P and R getting pushed. They actually worked through what would have been their production hiatus specifically so they could have enough episodes to air for the fall season. Which, in my mind, makes the fact that they aren't airing the best thing about Thursday nights infinitely less defensible.

NBC really knows how to say thank you.

Posted by: BillowingBackpacks at September 15, 2010 3:40 PM

@PaddyDog The Walking Dead is hands-down my most anticipated new show this fall. Stupid Halloween premiere date.

Posted by: LowSlash at September 15, 2010 3:48 PM

That's what was reported at AV Club back at the beginning of summer, BillowingBackpacks. It is a damn shame, too, because P&R was so good last season. The only show I consistently laughed at more was Community (and It's Always Sunny...), but Leslie Knope and Ron Effing Swanson nearly always stole Thursday nights.

As for Outsourced, it could be good if they make the American the butt of the jokes, the heel who can't fit in to his new culture. Instead, it looks like he's a one-man cultural imperialist trying to "fix" those wacky Indians. Lame. And, ugh.

Posted by: RobP at September 15, 2010 3:56 PM

When I saw a promo for The Defenders, my first thought was, "John Belushi got ANOTHER series?" And then I saw that he's paired with Jerry O'Connell, and I thought, "Is this a JOKE? This has to be a joke, right?" I mean, who would hire either of these two "actors" to do anything? And what evil genius actually thought it was a good idea to put them TOGETHER???

Posted by: jimbob at September 15, 2010 5:17 PM

There is a movie called Outsourced that is really well done. An American goes to India and basically has all his preconceived notions blown away as he becomes immersed in the culture. It also touches on what outsourcing is doing to the American business scene and in India. I would suggest this movie to any of my friends, there is no way I could do the same with this show. But if you see the movie on the shelf or netflix take a chance!

Posted by: Songkla at September 15, 2010 6:07 PM

What about Chase. That looks pretty bad

Posted by: Candy at September 15, 2010 7:56 PM

As an Indian, Outsourced makes me want to stab things. Again, fuck you NBC.

Posted by: Snrub at September 15, 2010 8:31 PM

My wife subjected me to about the first 10 minutes of "Outlaw".

Unfortunately the sound of my own disblief being stretched beyond it's safety limits, and the fact that the show is fucking terrible, finally had her changing the channel to something more entertaining.

I think it was "Who the fuck did I marry?" or some such uplifting fare.

Next!

Posted by: Uncle JR at September 16, 2010 9:42 AM

I've seen the pilot and 2nd episode of $#*! My Dad Says and can say it gets better. They stop making the dad sympathetic and let him verbally beat the crap out of his son a hell of a lot more.

Posted by: Larry at September 16, 2010 12:09 PM