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It's the End of Neo-Tokyo As We Know It

By Brian Prisco | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (26)

akiradad.jpg

Some of y’all follow anime. The extent of my knowledge contains everything they play on Saturday nights on Adult Swim after midnight. Filtered through a haze of hot wing indigestion, alcoholic haze, and the fade of sleep. So not too much.

But even I’ve seen Akira. And all I remember is the kid on the motorcycle making Cartman’s Trapper Keeper shoot out of his arm. But I know it’s sacrosanct among those otaku among you, so you know have a little faith. Because the live-action remake that has been on-again, off-again, on-again like Tom Cruise’s heterosexuality, is back on. And the Hughes Brothers are set to direct.

This should be pretty good news for you. They really did a bang-up fucking job with the dystopian society in The Book of Eli, and the action sequences were pretty balls to the wall. It was all the moralizing that got to me — but some of you felt differently and that’s just lovely. If memory serves me correctly — and it doesn’t, my brain keeps trying to replay traumatizing demon peen rape from Urotskidoji or however you spell it — Akira had a shit-ton of lull. So the Hughes Brothers seem to be making exactly that movie.

It’s set now to be two movies — to encompass the graphic novel — and maybe it’s still taking place in New Manhattan instead of New Tokyo. The old guy writing the script was actually the same dude who wrote Book of Eli, but now it’s Hawk Ostby and Mark Fergus — the fellas who brought you Children of Men and Iron Man and the forthcoming Cowboys and Aliens. So if you have hope in those empty little souls of yours, you might want to cling to it.

Until Keanu does Cowboy Bebop.









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Comments

The action was OK in Book of Eli, but the society they created was just plain moronic. Oooh, moist towelettes are really valuable in a dystopian world...a world where a goddamn iPod battery can be recharged for 30 years. A world where all fabric is destroyed so they're still wearing skinny jeans, but shit, they can make a metric fuckton of paper in a land with zero vegetation.

Maybe with someone else's vision of the setting, it will be fine. But I abhor lazy-thinking bullshit like Book of Eli. I'm willing to suspend disbelief right up to the point where they start mocking me for being stupid, and that point came really early in that movie.

Posted by: Wednesday at February 11, 2010 10:41 AM

F*%^Ing good news.

You should read the comics of Akira, thats my big frustration with the movie. If you know the whole story, the movie stops half way.

I'm prying for this one.
To Godtopus, not the dude with the beard, ofcourse

Posted by: Magiel at February 11, 2010 10:58 AM

Don't worry, purists, I heard the Hughes' Brothers in an interview explain that they were going to make sure that their Akira movie wont make any sense either.

TETSUOOOOOO!!!

KENADAAAAA!!!!!

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at February 11, 2010 10:59 AM

The English voice-over for the foreign release of Akira was balls. The original is quite cool, though mostly incomprehensible.

Though as Magiel points out, the comic itself is longer than War and Peace, so when shoehorned into 120 minutes you're going to miss much.

Posted by: Neodiogenes at February 11, 2010 11:06 AM

Until Keanu does Cowboy Bebop.

It never stops hurting.

Posted by: twig at February 11, 2010 11:29 AM

The day I heard about the Bebop movie, my heart lost several pieces. But thankfully, I don't think it'll happen. Just like the Metal Gear movie.

*Cries in corner while clutching Ein plush toy to his "Snake Pwns Raiden" t-shirt*

Posted by: ChristianH at February 11, 2010 11:43 AM

And all I remember is the kid on the motorcycle making Cartman’s Trapper Keeper shoot out of his arm.

Thank you sir for my first LOL of the day.

Posted by: Seany D at February 11, 2010 11:49 AM

traumatizing demon peen rape from Urotskidoji

That's the Overfiend movie, right?

Only time in a theater where I've literally wanted to scream and just break down. Everything happening was awful, AND it made no sense.

Posted by: Jay at February 11, 2010 11:56 AM

I'm aware of the reputation of Akira and I'm glad it's fans are pleased, sort of, with the director choice.

Me? I only watch the anime designed to sell me a product. Yugioh, Pokemon, Naruto, Bakugan, etc--I love how obvious the advertising is, or becomes, on these series. Two are about card games that you could buy as soon as the show premieres in a country, and one's a video game, for goodness sake. If I can't oggle the merchandise in a toy store, I have no interest.

Posted by: Robert at February 11, 2010 12:03 PM

Fuck no. This doesn't need to happen.

Posted by: Steph at February 11, 2010 1:02 PM

Until Keanu does Cowboy Bebop.

AND YOU HAVE TO KEEP RUBBING IT IN PRISCO. YOU SIR ARE THE DEVIL.

Excuse me, I'm gonna go watch the last part of "Ballad of Fallen Angels" on loop until I can wash the Johnny Utah out of my system.

Care to join me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huLkQikmSrA

(p.s. we can still save the movie by campaign for me to play Spike and Keanu as Vicious. IT COULD WORK PEOPLE)

Posted by: D-Day at February 11, 2010 4:08 PM

The old guy writing the script was actually the same dude who wrote Book of Eli, but now it’s Hawk Ostby and Mark Fergus — the fellas who brought you Children of Men and Iron Man and the forthcoming Cowboys and Aliens.

This makes my throat tighten and my eyes glimmer with tears of hope. Children of Men is ossom-beyond-ossom, and Iron Man was fun times. Smash 'em together, and Akira could be pretty schweet.

Posted by: Jelinas at February 11, 2010 5:12 PM

This should be pretty good news for you.
No it isn't. It isn't at all.

Posted by: Arthur Dent at February 11, 2010 5:24 PM

(p.s. we can still save the movie by campaign for me to play Spike and Keanu as Vicious. IT COULD WORK PEOPLE)
Posted by: D-Day at February 11, 2010 4:08 PM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Have you SEEN Much Ado About Nothing?! If that man is allowed to play a villain again it could DESTROY THE FABRIC OF SPACE AND TIME AND FILM AND ANIME AND GOD DAMMIT WE CANNOT LET THAT HAPPEN!

Posted by: ChristianH at February 11, 2010 5:26 PM

Am I seriously the only person who thinks Keanu is the perfect choice for Cowboy Bebop? He's like, kinda Asian looking. He's thin and good looking. He's...umm...charismatic? (couldn't get through that one) and he's like a little bit Asian. And he's talented (oh, shut the fuck up).

Okay. Whatever. I still think it's a good idea.
Clint Eastwood as Jet.
Chloe Moretz as Edward.
Chloe Sevigney as Faye.

Posted by: superasente at February 11, 2010 5:42 PM

Actually I think he'd fine for Vicious...weeeeeird

Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Jet
>>> Because Swearengen is too short and Leonidas isn't a real actor anymore.
Dakota Fanning as Edward
>>> I honestly don't know who could do Ed. It would HAVE to be open casting call. >>> So I went with the first skinny, kinda weird looking girl who came to mind.
Megan Fox as Faye
>>> And yes I went here. Because she actually has the looks, and on top of that any Faye written into a 120 minute movie isn't going to be a complex character. She'll be focused on the fun part of Faye. So screwit, go with the best looking one. At least until Jonah Hex comes out and we can officially bury her "acting talent".

Posted by: D-Day at February 11, 2010 6:02 PM

There will be no live action Bebop. If there is, no one tell me, because it will never exist in my world.

Posted by: NY not NYC at February 11, 2010 6:06 PM

traumatizing demon peen rape from Urotskidoji

That's the Overfiend movie, right?

Nah, it's definitely Urotskidoji.

But then there's no shortage of tentacle rape

Posted by: protoguy at February 11, 2010 6:29 PM

Megan Fox and Chloe Sevigney lack the necessary "assets" to play Faye. Those assets being, in this order: 1) Breasts, 2) Attractiveness, and 3 (solely in the case of Fox)) Acting ability.

And yes, I think Megan Fox is uglier than a dog.

Come on, you all know they'd cast Scarlett Johannson, just for the boobs.

Posted by: ChristianH at February 11, 2010 6:38 PM

Supersante, no no no no no . . . Eastwood? SEVIGNEY? Oh, it hurts . . . I cannot abide the thought of these characters being ruined . . .

Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2010 8:45 PM

Love how no one cares about Akira and are instead talking about Cowboy Bebop, which actually turned me off of anime way back in high school (it's a bunch of loosely connected gibberish carried by mediocre computer-based animation). Me, I'm more concerned with the report above stating that Akira is being 'Americanized'. Like I said, I'm not much of a fan of anime anymore, but I am a fan of good literature. And, though it came in the form of a manga, I consider Akira one of Japan's greatest contributions to literature, even one of the greatest contributions to literature in general. It really is insulting that they'd change the location of the story to New York and presumably cast the lead roles with Americans. If any is to make a live action version of the story, respect should be given and measures taken to preserve as much of the spirit of Otomo's masterpiece as possible.

Posted by: Neverpostedonce at February 11, 2010 8:58 PM

We're a Bebop-centric crowd, it happens.

I for one and going to wait and see on the American Akira. Good writers, decent directors, and (it seems) some faithfulness to the original don't count a movie out just yet. Sometimes we just have to accept the attempt at adapting anime/mange into live-action when it, at the least, has its' heart in the right place. While V for Vendetta wasn't a straight adaption, it meant well enough. LXG would be the logical counter for this.

Point I was running around was that sometimes you just have to accept that you got a live-action "companion piece" to what you already have; in Akira's case, you've got the anime and manga. I doubt the movie will be exceptional, and some liberties will be taken with it so that everyone's satisfied a casual audience will accept the story, but hopefully a good enough job will be worth seeing/owning.

Posted by: D-Day at February 11, 2010 10:31 PM

Neverpostedonce, to my knowlege Cowboy Bebop's never been computer animated, and the gibberish is only loosely connected if you're loosely interested.

Posted by: protoguy at February 13, 2010 5:53 AM

American-made movie adaptions of anime are a far worse abomination than Amerime. This movie is going to bomb like Dragonball Evolution.

Posted by: Allaiyah at February 13, 2010 7:02 AM

I'd rather be the star in a film version of Urotskidoji than have these be butchered. Fuck it, it could be a documentary...I'd take the rape for the team.

Posted by: Gamal at February 13, 2010 7:40 AM

Keanu Reeves needs to stay far away from Cowboy Bebop. >:O

Posted by: duckandcover at February 13, 2010 3:51 PM