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The House on Sorority Row Remake | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

The House on Sorority Row Remake Featuring Rumer Willis
Ugh / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | September 11, 2008 | Comments (23)

1erms.jpgI never saw the original 80s flick, The House on Sorority Row. Probably because I was nine, and I had not yet discovered the joy of watching topless women succumb to the blades of butcher knives. I still haven’t, in fact, which doesn’t exactly inspire enthusiasm for a remake. The matter is not helped by the fact that the original was reportedly one of the worst horror movies ever made, nor the fact that the remake will star Rumer Willis, almost ensure that the 2009 version will actually be worse. Though, I have to concede that it may be one of the instances where I could get behind that butcher knife.

Anyway, the movie is about a prank that goes awry, which results in the death of some sorority sister’s den mother. They try to hide her, and then the sorority girls start showing up dead. In addition to Rumer Willis, Briana Evigan (Step Up 2) will also star. She’s Greg Evigan’s daughter. He was one of the two dads in “My Two Dads.” She is also starring in the Donnie Darko sequel. Rumer Willis, who also played a sorority girl in House Bunny, is also set to star in Whore alongside Megan Fox and Ron Jeremy.

Wait. What?


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Comments

Wait... there's a movie called "Whore"?

Next thing you know women are gonna start calling each other whores and say "it's empowering."

Posted by: Sofía at September 11, 2008 9:52 AM

Rumer Willis, who also played a sorority girl in House Bunny, is also set to star in Whore alongside Megan Fox and Ron Jeremy.

I think my brain just exploded.

Posted by: Pea at September 11, 2008 10:08 AM

Dear Ms. Willis:

Talent is not genetic. We're not interested, no matter how much you try to force-feed us. Deal.

Posted by: twig at September 11, 2008 10:14 AM

I've never like Megan Fox not even as eye candy. I do, however enjoy the fact that she owns a fox. It only makes her that much closer to a supervillian.
*Mini-Diversion* Best Catwoman.
EARTHA KITT just for that weird-ass purr.
*Diversion Over!*

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 11, 2008 10:14 AM

We're taking our word back, Sofia!

I'm sure I saw this movie, as I saw every single one of the 47,000 of these movies that came out between 1982 and 1989. I'm also sure I don't remember it specifically, as they were all pretty much exactly the same. I can't say I'm surprised at news of a remake, but I can echo Dustin's "Ugh".

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 11, 2008 10:16 AM

I've always figured it's pointless to remake GOOD movies. It's the bad ones that had a germ of a good idea that should be remade, until they get it right.

Which is not saying "House ..." was a good movie by any means, but ...

Oh, and the next time some jerkwad actor blathers on and on about how difficult the "craft" is, remind him of the huge number of actors' children who wind up in the biz. Because acting talent is, y'know, genetic. *eye roll* Also remind said jerkwad that they give Oscars to 9-year-olds, so how hard can it be?

Posted by: bucdaddy at September 11, 2008 10:21 AM

Anna von Beaverplatz (full name alert!),

I'm all for taking words back, but "Whore" sounds too Laguna Beachy for me. What really pisses me off is that when I finally get around to writing "Cunt: The College Years" everyone's gonna go 'meh.'

Posted by: Sofía at September 11, 2008 10:29 AM

Look on the bright side. The movie's rumored to be getting a (desired) hard R rating. Which means you may actually see these vacuous non-celebs die in wonderfully gory ways when their death scenes get uploaded to Youtube.

Posted by: David at September 11, 2008 11:05 AM

*Mini-Diversion* Best Catwoman.
EARTHA KITT just for that weird-ass purr.
*Diversion Over!*

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 11, 2008 10:14 AM

Julie Newmar, hands down. Me-ow! She wouldn't need any henchmen with me -- I would throw myself into the shackles on the basement wall just to hear her tell me what unspeakable thing was about to happen next...

Posted by: Che Grovera at September 11, 2008 11:14 AM

Catwoman Diversion: Gotta go with Michelle Pfeiffer. I still maintain that if she'd won the "shocker" Oscar instead of Tomei that year, there'd've been no controversy.

Posted by: firedmyass at September 11, 2008 12:05 PM

I think Winona Ryder would make an awesome Catwoman. Have you listened to her voice? Hello, pussy!

Posted by: Sofía at September 11, 2008 12:22 PM

Rumer...please. Spare my penis the pain of my eyes seeing you ANYMORE. You are about as sexy as a boil on my nutsack. As interesting as the non-spikey piece of velcro on my shoes. And half as talented as either. And what the fuck is up with your jaw? Do you have acorns stored in there for the long, col California winters? I get the urge to knock you out whenever I think about you, and would totally act on it if i didn't fear for the structural integrity of my hand. You look like Robert Z'Dar got plastered and fucked a pixie.

Posted by: PissBoy at September 11, 2008 12:29 PM

And what the fuck is up with your jaw?
Posted by PissBoy

I know!!! Any day now I expect her to grow a nipple on her chin.

Posted by: Sofía at September 11, 2008 12:31 PM

I could care less that Whore will star Rumer "Mayor McCheese" Willis. What I am more interested in is that it has Brad Rowe in it, who will now and forever be the subject of the bulk of my wet dreams.

Posted by: Shane at September 11, 2008 12:49 PM

Michelle Pfeiffer, for the simple reason that I wanted to both be her and fuck her when I was 14 years old.

Meow.

Posted by: bibliophile at September 11, 2008 1:06 PM

Unless it's a remake of the Ken Russell WHORE starring Theresa Russell, then I'm not interested.

And Rumer Willis sucks. Her jaw makes Kiera Knightley's look delicate.

Posted by: Andrew at September 11, 2008 1:35 PM

Mini-Diversion: Julie Newmar. Even when I was little I was impressed with the way she filled out the catsuit, and the fact that her legs went on forever.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 11, 2008 1:55 PM

I was always torn between Julie Newmar and Eartha Kitt, myself. Julie's beautiful, but Eartha's got that voice...

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 11, 2008 2:06 PM

Unless she is up for the remake of the movie Mask and the part of Rocky Dennis hasn't been cast yet, this troglodyte shouldn't be in movies. Or if they are doing a live action Weeble movie.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Fuck Rumer Willis.

Posted by: Rubble44 at September 11, 2008 3:06 PM

That whole post sounded more terrifying then the actual movie. See reality is FAR stranger and MORE horrifying than fiction!

Posted by: ph at September 11, 2008 5:42 PM

Geez..the hate generated from some young woman not matching media ideals of feminine beauty is pretty disappointing.

Posted by: kendra at September 12, 2008 5:49 AM

Geez..the hate generated from some young woman not matching media ideals of feminine beauty is pretty disappointing.

Posted by: kendra at September 12, 2008 5:54 AM

The original movie was actually pretty ace! It would make an excellent hangover theatre review, or an MST3K episode.
It even had Ashley Abbot, Kristin, Kristin's doppelganger and Kristin's doppelganger's brother (Eileen Davidson).

Posted by: Loob at September 18, 2008 2:18 PM





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