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The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug First Trailer: Not Even the Dragon Can Excite Us

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | June 11, 2013 | Comments ()


Screen Shot 2013-06-11 at 1.12.28 PM.png

Looks like more elves than Hobbits in The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug, including more Evangeline Lilly than you ever asked for (and not enough Lee Pace, because there's never enough Lee Pace).

It's the will-see-it-but-not-excited-about-it movie of the year!

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Scorptilicus

    Speak for yourself. I'm pretty excited.

  • Bernie

    Every!Line! Every! Word! Is! Epic! But! I! Still! Don't! Know! The ! Plot!

    pass.

  • Ozioma

    Says you, Dustin.

    Although I will concede that Smaug looks like something out of Jurassic Park.

    And in conclusion, I would give my right ovary for Richard Armitage and Benedict Cumberbatch to do an interview together in promotion of this movie.

  • Someone needs to make that happen. NOW. My ovaries are just about done, and that would send them out with a last hurrah of epic proportions.

  • EssyRomaine

    The second Hobbit movie means more Richard Armitage, and that alone is enough for me to be excited.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Is it, though. Is it?

  • EssyRomaine

    Probably not. My enthusiasm for the rest of the Hobbit died with the knowledge that there was going to be three movies and Evangeline Lilly was in on it to play some made up love interest to Legolas.

  • AvaLehra

    Oh, Legolas! How I've missed you so. P.S. Your daddy hawt.

  • LMo

    I waited the whole trailer to hear benedict cumberbatch's dragon voice...no dice. I will see this because i am a shameless hussy and his voice tingles my nether regions. That is all.

  • E Robb

    The weird blurry CGI is the most worrying part of this.

  • Dush Ku

    It's weird and blurry as seen normally. HFR 3D was crisp, clear and remarkable.
    I'm not a 3D fan at all yet I was blown away in amazement.

  • Idle Primate

    i liked the first hobbit movie more than the whole LOTR trilogy. i hope the rest is as enjoyable. i started out bitterly skeptical about the utterly insane and greedy notion of three films but these just seem filled with a much better sense of adventure and fun, and not just and endless dreary war story dressed up as a fantasy story.

  • If only the entertainment industry would realize: 1. lobby to legalize marijuana, achieve it 2. lobby to legalize smoking it in theaters, achieve it 3. profit (4. one theater showing BBC's Life on repeat 5. more profit)

  • There's no way in hell I'm paying full price for that piece of shit.

  • I still plan to wait for the compressed edition after the last movie is out.

    I want someone to take the trilogy and edit it down, then give me one (maaaybe two) movies that are just the story from the book. And I'll be super happy.

  • I second this vote for a Compressed Edition. But nooo, all we'll get s LONGER movies eventually.

  • Captain D

    William Turner and Legolas were in The Hobbit?

  • I wondered about that too. I half suspect that Captain Jack Sparrow will make a cameo. I mean if we're going off the rails, why not go all the way? Amiright?

  • Wembley

    Not an effective trailer for a road trip movie. I mean, it doesn't even show that the whole point was to get Bilbo laid.

    That is the point of the new Elf, Tauriel, right?

    "Ooh. I love hairy feet! May I...stroke them?"

  • annie

    Is it just me or the FX not... that impressive? They couldn't even feature Cumberbatch's dragon voice? Whatever. I'm going to listen to Neverwhere again instead.

  • BWeaves

    Was ANY of the actual book in that trailer? Any of it? I read the book recently. I see nothing. And that CGI is crap. How could they have regressed so much from the perfection that was Gollum?

  • the sandwich

    What book are you thinking of? LOTR?

    There was all the Mirkwood stuff (spiders, barrel escape), Bilbo climbing the tree (cue terrible Rankin & Bass song), the finding of the "tunnel" and the goddam dragon & his gold.

  • BWeaves

    Oh, there were barrels, but the dwarves were IN the barrels. They didn't have their upper bodies popping up out of them, and they weren't shot at by a herd of elves.

    Yes they found the tunnel and the dragon and the gold, but Bilbo used the Ring to be invisible. The dragon couldn't see him.

    And Legolas isn't in the friggin story. I don't care if his father IS Lee Pace. He's not in the story. Nor is Radagast or whoever that Lost chick is supposed to be.

    Yes, there's the basics of the story. But why is Jackson deviating from the actual story we all know and love?

  • To somehow puke out three movies from a 300 page book.

  • Isn't that about three episodes of Game of Thrones?

  • Fabius_Maximus

    I don't mind including the stuff about the Necromancer. That should make for a pretty good addition to the story. But the rest? Yeah, totally superfluous.

  • Wembley

    He's not deviating.
    He's improviating.

    For Peter Jackson is a VISIONARY filmmaker...

    I'm sure I read that on the internets somewhere. Once.

  • BWeaves

    He's not improviating.

    He's Lucasing.

    It's not a compliment.

  • Dush Ku

    He's not even Lucasing. At least Star Wars was Lucas' own story to change.
    Jackson is just making stuff up and selling it as Tolkein's story.

  • emmalita

    Thank you!

  • I squealed like a 12 year old when I saw Orlando Bloom in Legolas garb. That elf helped usher in puberty and will always have a special place in my heart. I think this looks fun. Officially excited.

  • Leelee

    Me too! My pre-teen love for him knew no bounds. He was pretty and bad-ass (but also wholly unthreatening).
    Then a few years later I started to appreciate the appeal of a man covered in beard scruff and mud, and Legolas was unceremoniously cast aside for Aragorn.
    I did the same thing when I went to the cinema to watch Orlando Bloom in the first Pirates... and left with a cardboard cutout of Johnny Depp.

  • Yeah, I knew I was a woman when I preferred Aragorn to Legolas. Oh well. Since Viggo isn't serving up any Ranger realness in this one, the elf is a suitable replacement.

  • Salieri2
  • mb

    Oh, how this makes my loins glisten.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Guh.

  • NotSoExcited

    Meh.

  • Samantha Klein

    Heyyyy, nice accent, Piemaker.

  • Megan

    Disappointed at the lack of Cumberbatch.

  • profession: none, or starlet

    Seriously. The man's got a voice like a whisky-soaked velvet bath, and they couldn't give us even a few seconds of Smaug speaking?

  • TK

    Actually looked kind of fun up until Smaug, who looked like he belonged in a Saturday morning cartoon.

  • Drogon is scarier than this guy.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Well, we didn't hear him talk yet.

  • koko temur

    I bet you a bucket of facial hair that you will feel diffrenetly with smaug speaking cumberbatch in the movie itself. He will sell the hell out of it.

  • Captain D

    Let's try this by dubbing Cumberbatch over a video of the teletubbies. I'd wager there are some kinds of awful that can't be fixed...and I think that CGI Smaug is one of them.

  • TK

    But... I don't want a bucket of facial hair. So, uh, thanks but I'm OK.

  • koko temur

    oh no, you silly, if you win - winning is NOT getting this lovely bucket.

  • stardust

    Wait. Wait wait wait. Peter Jackson used Croesus' fortune to make this movie and THAT is the best CGI they can muster for the dragon?! Bah.

    Also, needs more Cumberbatch.

  • That was some AMAZING cosplay. What?!? That was the movie?

  • Sherry

    I'll be the first to admit it: I'm excited. I also enjoyed the first one, so take that as you will. I'm a Middle Earth nerd and the more time I get to spend there--manufactured bits or no--I'm a happy nerd. Although the spiders (I am an arachnophobe) are gonna freak me out--will have to watch that bit with my eyes covered.

  • protoguy

    I'm the other kind of Middle Earth nerd. They take all this time and effort to recreate this amazing world and then fill it with stupid pratfalls and forced action and awful story changes. I'm not a purist, but damn I wish PJ would take it a little more seriously and less like a silly kid's movie.

  • And fucking Female Legolas. Tolkien is rolling in his grave.

  • Sherry

    Figgy: I'm pretending that's not happening. My imagination is a wonderful place. Also, I don't mind Legolas being there--logically, it makes sense, he was around Mirkwood at the time, Tolkien just hadn't written his character when he did The Hobbit.
    Also, after I posted, I was trying to figure out WHY it doesn't bother me when every tiny little thing in LoTR (even though I loved all three) did. I think it was because my brain snapped a little when they turned Hobbit into two and then went entirely when it became three and I'm treating this more as a new work based on some source material. It's helping me enjoy it, at least.

  • Sherry

    This bothered me much more in LoTR than in the Hobbit for some reason. Not sure why but guessing it's because this was a children's story that they're fleshing out with material from the appendices. Or maybe Jackson has just worn me down. :) Although I still mutter, every time I watch the Battle of Helm's Deep, "Legolas said he WISHED he had a hundred of his kin there. That didn't actually HAPPEN." and my husband tells me to shush for the billionth time.

  • Daniel Cardoso

    ME TOOOOOOOOOOO.. I'm so hooked on The Silmarillion

  • Sherry

    Now, THAT would be an awesome trilogy. Damn you, book rights! [shakes fist at Tolkien estate]

  • Daniel Cardoso

    It'd make an awesome series ala Game of Thrones in my opinion.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Only with a lot of alterations. It's a history book, ffs. There is barely a plot.

  • TheMudshark

    Which would make it fair game to take all kinds of liberties with the writing, contrary to all the unnecessary alterations and additions in the Hobbit-Films.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    But can imagine the amount of work that that would require?

  • Sherry

    I would accept that as well.

  • Sherry

    Although I will also admit to a serious Admiral Ackbar moment at Radaghast's "What if it's a trap?"

  • Fredo

    Saw the first one and I was surprised at how boring it was. There's way too much padding and way too many cutesy touches because it's trying to be both kid's fairy tale and serious grimy epic like LOTR and it can't be both.

  • Zirza

    Martin Freeman is my favourite cutesy touch, though,

  • profession: none, or starlet

    Seriously. They tried to play it both ways with the tone, and it just didn't work.

  • Lee

    Agreed. This looks as boring as the last one. I'll prob take my son but expectations for staying awake very low.

  • annie

    I didn't think i t was that bad... until I realized I still had an hour and two more movies to go.

  • meadowdancer

    Eh. I am probably not seeing this. I still haven't seen the Hobbit after a few of my friends panned it to me.

  • Finance_Nerd

    I feel the same way. Skipped the Hobbit - I may watch the trilogy on PPV in 2015.

  • Unless you can fast forward through it or pause it for a few days, don't bother.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    Not excited? What are you talking about? Have you SEEN Lee Pace's eyebrows? In a movie full of fake hair, these babies got their own damn CLOSE UP.

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