The Expendables Movie Poster

Hey! Look! Movie Posters

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (20)

I used to love movie posters. I used to buy them, steal them, and collect them. I would proudly frame them and hang them from my wall. And then I moved out of my college dorm and started putting up adult art in my rooms (totally not true: I have a Dark Knight poster hanging up right next to me — scares the bejesus out of Mrs. Pajiba-hyphenate).

Anyway, if I were still collecting movie posters, I’d have no interest at all in owning either of these two.

The first is for Robert Zemeckis’ A Christmas Carol, another of those movies where Zemeckis goes out of his way to use his ugly-ass 3-D computer animation method. In the movie, Jim Carrey plays Ebenezer Scrooge, the Ghost of Christmas Past, the Ghost of Christmas Present, and the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come, in case you find yourself lacking Jim Carrey in your life. Meanwhile, Gary Oldman plays Bob Cratchit, Marley, and Tiny Tim. Robin Wright Penn plays the love interest, and Cary Elwes plays the Ghost of Dread Pirate Roberts.

Here’s the poster:

The other movie poster is for The Expendables. It’s that movie about mercenaries that hasn’t even finished filming yet, but we’ve already mentioned it on this site 89 times. It stars Jason Statham, Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Danny Trejo, Eric Roberts, Steven Austin and, of course, Charisma Carpenter.

Here’s the movie poster:

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Comments

How many versions of A Christmas Carol do there need to be? Watch the Muppet one, done.

Season's Greedings. Oh hahaha.

Posted by: Carrie at May 15, 2009 11:57 AM

Gee Rowles, I thought you would appreciate that Expendables poster. Or is it that you would rather have a frontal shot...

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 15, 2009 12:00 PM

Calling the movie Disney's Christmas Carol doesn't do much to narrow it down

Posted by: cockroach at May 15, 2009 12:23 PM

When I was a kid, the "Mr. Magoo" version of A Christmas Carol was the first I'd ever seen and I've loved it ever since. There have been a few enjoyable films based on it but, as Carrie said, how many do we need?
The Zemeckis version will be shite, so yeah, try to find the Magoo version or stick with the Muppets; either will be far more entertaining than this looks to be.

Posted by: Spender at May 15, 2009 12:29 PM

Stop it Zemeckis, I'm tired of seeing that needlessly ugly technology in movies, I can barely put up with that shit in videogames. Haven't you ever heard of the uncanny valley?

Posted by: George at May 15, 2009 12:30 PM

Scrooged will always be the definitive Christmas Carol.

Posted by: Snath at May 15, 2009 12:59 PM

I had this urge to leap on whoever's back that is.

Posted by: Sweetie Dahling at May 15, 2009 1:23 PM

G--Ga--Gary....Gary Oldman?

*eyes fill with tears*

Gary Oldman? THE Gary Oldman? He...he's...he's in a movie with motherfucking Ace Ventura? GARY OLDMAN?

No--just...no. Fucking no. I'm gonna go sit in the corner and cover my ears and just pretend this isn't true. No. Don't try to comfort me--DON'T TOUCH ME ! GO AWAY!

Posted by: figgy at May 15, 2009 1:53 PM

A Christmas Carol is just another Carrey vehicle. Scrooge is every actor's wet-dream of a role. You get to dress up in old-age makeup, and play a cartoon character for 90 minutes or so. At least, that's probably what we'll see from Mr. Carrey.

The Muppet version, McGoo and Scrooged are all good, but if you want to see Scrooge played as merely an astute, down-to-earth practical business man, (i.e., horror personified), check out the George C. Scott made-for-TV version.

Now that's an actor!

-Ralphie

Posted by: Ralphie at May 15, 2009 1:55 PM

Danny Trejo is, in the parlance of an old college friend, "dripping with balls". I dearly hope that movie ("Machete" was it?) previewed in Grindhouse/Planet Terror is really getting made. The scene in "Desperado" where he attacks those guys in the limo is an all time classic. Danny Fucking Trejo.

Posted by: Kballs at May 15, 2009 2:03 PM

Speaking of Expendables, it's filming down here (in New Orleans, for the 3 of you here who haven't learned everything about me via facebook memes...).

Everyone I know keeps sending random pictures from the set. "They filmed by my office yesterday!" "I ran into so-and-so at Starbucks! New Orleans is a fairly small city, so it's really not hard to run into them. FUCK, my best friend is working as a goddamn P.A. on the set. My point? I STILL HAVEN'T LICKED JASON STATHAM. This is just mean.

Posted by: jamiepants at May 15, 2009 3:10 PM

The Alistair Sims version of A Christmas Carol is the only one I'll watch. (Puts false teeth back in.)

Posted by: BWeaves at May 15, 2009 4:51 PM

My sister directed a stage version of this in December, and it fucking rocked. I doubt I'll need to see this, lest it stain the memory.

Posted by: TK at May 15, 2009 4:58 PM

My favorite "purist" version of the story is the George C. Scott one. It had David Warner as Bob Cratchet and The Equalizer as the Ghost of Christmas Present. It was creepy and very well done and Scott just chewed UP that role.

For the comedy version it's Scrooged, I never get tired of that movie.

For kids it's Muppets Christmas Carol. "Light the lamp not the rat!"

I don't mind the Zemeckis animation style. I think Beowulf and Monster House were both great, and Polar Express has become a Christmas Eve tradition, but I just get all kinds of bad feelings about this new A Christmas Carol. Like the trailer is already in my head, and I'm wincing.

Posted by: TylerDFC at May 15, 2009 5:04 PM

Doesn't Patrick Stewart also do a yearly telling of the story (from memory) for the Royal Shakespeare Company?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 15, 2009 5:38 PM

Jim Carrey makes me angry. And sad. Because Eternal Sunshine was so amazingly profound and beautiful. And yet, he would rather be an overgrown manchild.

Posted by: Bonnie at May 15, 2009 6:36 PM

What do you mean of course Charisma Carpenter?
It's not her fault that she does shitty films.

Posted by: Will at May 16, 2009 5:44 AM

...if you want to see Scrooge played as merely an astute, down-to-earth practical business man, (i.e., horror personified), check out the George C. Scott made-for-TV version.

Ralphie, you must be my long-lost cousin or something. The George C. Scott Christmas Carol is the best version ever performed, hands down. (Bonus: Edward Woodward!)

The Expendables poster does make me feel a bit smurgly in the pantal region. Or maybe it's the mention of Statham that's making that happen.

Posted by: Jerce at May 16, 2009 4:54 PM

BWeaves is correct, the version with Alistair Sims is wonderful.
And, while I usually loathe musicals, the version with Albert Finney is really good, too.

Posted by: canology at May 17, 2009 4:40 AM

I'm obviously going to see A Christmas Carol because of the credit screen reunion of you-know-who.

It's a genius marketing ploy. All the adults who normally would shrug off the film's release will now find themselves subtly coercing their children, neices/nephews, or neighbours' kids into expressing an interest in the movie, just to be able to offer to take them.

And neither Robin Wright (the "Penn" never happened) nor Cary Elwes can comfortably be considered A-list, so it was probably cheap to sign them.

Genius.

(I am currently working hard to suppress a fanfiction itch involving the first read-through, eyes locking, slipping into British accents unconsciously, trading TPB quotes in hushed voices... ooohoo)

Posted by: Ling at May 17, 2009 11:18 AM

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Hey! Look! Movie Posters

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