'The Expendables 3' Teaser Trailer is Here, Mostly Because of Inertia and Apathy

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'The Expendables 3' Teaser Trailer is Here, Mostly Because of Inertia and Apathy

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | December 19, 2013 | Comments ()

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Remember how we used to make fun of how old everyone is in The Expendables. Well, they’re three years older now, and much like this franchise, they are inexorably creeping ever so closer to death. At least they’re whistling cheerily into the black-hole chasm of hell.

Jesus, Harrison Ford. You’ve got more millions than you have years left to spend it. Why? “Because I was Han fucking Solo, you little sh*t. And if someone wants to pay me $3 million for four days of work, I’m going to take it, and I’m going to use it to build another wall around my heart to close all you pathetic, sad-sack f*ckers off.”

Oh. OK, then.

Pajiba Love Express
Here's some Daveed Diggs for you. On Daveed Diggs' digs, actually. That man does things with clothes that should not make sense, but are absolutely perfect. (Go Fug Yourself)

Woody Allen has "so moved on" from his daughter's accusations and says he never even thinks about it. He equates her words about him to a bad review he won't read and comments on how wacky it is that Mia Farrow is his mother-in-law. He is the worst. (Celebitchy)

Not The Worst but still very gross: Leonardo DiCaprio and his Pussy Posse Wolf Pack were on the douche prowl in NYC. (Lainey)

Here are 5 under-the-radar shows. I had never even heard of the first two. (Uproxx)

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