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Knock Off Another Hour of Primetime

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (21)

The_Biggest_Loser.0.0.0x0.468x300.jpeg

Jillian Michaels scares the crap out of me, with her seething anger and crazy eyes. I’ve always wondered if at some point someone on “The Biggest Loser” would just snap her in half and wolf her down, especially since the fake-tan leather of her constantly exposed midriff reminds me of truck stop beef jerky. But she will now swallow another hour of NBC’s primetime sometime in 2010, in all likelihood dislocating her jaw as she officially hits 40% of what Leno’s chin currently manages.

Jillian will host “Losing It With Jillian,” which sounds like the hippest thing since getting jiggy with it. Each episode of the show will feature Jillian moving into a family’s home and yelling at morbidly obese children to drop the damned pot pie and get on the treadmill already. Oops, misread that press release, I mean “giving you realistic tools and a realistic environment to transform your life and the life of your family.”

And besides, a disposable executive at NBC tells us that “Jillian is the world’s leading lifestyle expert with a signature style all her own.” You know what else has a signature style? All of the logos on the beautiful packages of processed food that call to me at the supermarket. Jillian might judge me, but deep-fried cheese whiz smeared on Doritos loves me for me.







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Comments

She's the type of person I could see interrogators bring in at crunch time to chew off people's fingers and crawl all over them like a spider. I would listen if she was my personal trainer. I love pizza and Krispy Kreme, but not as much as I hate watching someone eat my face in a fit of pure rage. And make no mistake, she'll fucking do it.

Posted by: Kballs at October 21, 2009 9:18 AM

Only if your face is low-carb.

Posted by: Paul Southworth at October 21, 2009 9:20 AM

So let me get this straight:

Law & Order gave way to L&O: SVU and L&O: CI
CSI gave birth to CSI: Miami and CSI: New York
NCIS just also put NCIS: LA out there.
We've had The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, The Apprentice, the Celebrity Apprentice, American Idol going from 1 weeknight to 3 weeknights out of a week and so on and on.

I think it all peaked/reached bottom when Jay Leno had to leave The Tonight Show BUT was allowed to continue with a show that was just like The Tonight Show, functioned like The Tonight Show and did everything The Tonight Show did...but wasn't The Tonight Show.

Movies are all about remakes and sequels. Guess TV has to be the same way too.

Posted by: Fredo at October 21, 2009 9:42 AM

NBC Universal has thrown in the prime time towel.
This move is meant clearly to surrender any attempt at recapturing any kind of audience between 8-11 PM.
Am I right?
Aren't they doing just what any sports franchise does before selling the team by stripping the roster of any high-priced talent and cutting overhead to the bare bones?
I can picture G.E. corporate execs breaking up the conglomerate and selling off chunks to the highest bidder.
Just my theory.

Posted by: Spender at October 21, 2009 9:44 AM

“Jillian is the world’s leading lifestyle expert..."

I have nothing against Jillian, but that disposable NBC exec needs to be shoved head-first down a garbage disposal (or wood chipper, if his skull proves to be too rigid to pass through a sink drain).

That statement is pure, unadulterated BULLSHIT, and these mainstream motherfuckers need to stop making shit up just to sell a fucking television show.

Posted by: Rykker at October 21, 2009 10:55 AM

I'll bet you an entire nickel that this is not a Biggest Loser spinoff, but rather a ripoff of a British reality show where some skinny cunt yells at fat people and makes them eat healthy food no one else on the planet eats for real.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at October 21, 2009 11:04 AM

I agree with Three-nineteen.

This sounds like a rip-off of the British show "You are what you eat" starring Gillian McKeith, who is actually a doctor.

Jillian, Gillian. NBC is so unoriginal.

Posted by: BWeaves at October 21, 2009 11:08 AM

Just to clarify, she's not a c**t because she's skinny, she's a c**t who happens to be skinny.

I also apologize for using the word c**t. Probably a little harsh.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at October 21, 2009 11:09 AM

Mmmmmmm, pot pie.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at October 21, 2009 11:13 AM

Wait ... people make pot pie with chicken and carrots and peas and stuff? Huh, I thought pot pie was made with ... ummmm, something else.

Ooops, gotta go, there's someone knocking loudly at my door and yelling something about "D-E-A." Guess I gotta see what that's about.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at October 21, 2009 11:16 AM

"," If you like "pot" pie, you'll love Cornish "pasties" (pronounced PAY-stees). Guess what's in them?

Posted by: BWeaves at October 21, 2009 11:39 AM

"Raw swede"? That, like, Ursula Andress?

In pasties, you say?

Yum.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at October 21, 2009 11:53 AM

I quite enjoy "You Are What You Eat." I'm not proud, but I agree
with the comment that no one else eats like that.

Tell me Jillian won't be talking to children. If she can't yell at them is her
recourse to make them cry? She is nine kinds of scary all of them based
on the fact that she is fit. She's just fit. That's it.

Posted by: Supercomfypampertimefloatythrone at October 21, 2009 12:01 PM

I was all behind Jillian until she endorsed a brand of diet pills. That's why I thought it was so strange that she didn't lecture the contestants on why only her method works and why diet pills are the devil. She's shilling them. She's probably furious they won't let the contestants start chowing down on them in the house since everyone from Subway to Cheerios can get an endorsement deal.

Couldn't the spin-off have been a smaller version of The Biggest Loser with people struggling with a smaller ammount of pounds? You know, regular fatties, not sideshow fat. It's shocking to think that the lightest contestants this season are all still fatter than the heaviest contestants on the first season. The morbidly obese aren't the only ones struggling with weight and honestly, the competitions would be a hell of a lot more interesting if you had people who could actually run in a race. It took forty minutes last night for the fatestants to dig a hole in sand. They all kept sitting down and wheezing and popping out of their spandex. Boring.

Posted by: Robert at October 21, 2009 12:27 PM

Just so everyone knows - Gillian McKeith isn't a real doctor. She's been forced to stop calling herself Dr.Gillian McKeith because her "doctorate" was from an un-acredited correspondance course. So now she really is just a skinny c*** who shouts at obese people.

And makes squillions of £££££££ from her own brand of pills and rabbit...er...health food.

Posted by: haz_bear01 at October 21, 2009 12:41 PM

Guess what's in them?

Nipple covers?

Posted by: Cindy at October 21, 2009 12:43 PM

Jillian Michaels is my idol. I would kick my own grandmother out of the house to clear a bed for Jillian if she promised to move in with me and be my friend.

Sorry, did I say "be my friend"? I meant, motivate me to get my life in shape.

I'm not lonely, or anything.

*sob*

Posted by: Ling at October 21, 2009 2:27 PM

Ling, I totally agree, I love Jillian. I wish she'd come yell at me. When I was training for my first 5k this weekend I imagined Jillian yelling at me 'Even if you are crying and throwing up blood, you will not stop running.' I didn't, she scares me even in my head.

Posted by: TWoP Fan at October 21, 2009 6:43 PM

In ten years one of the kids Jillian yelled at will be the new star of the next obesity freakshow on the Discovery Health and/or TLC channels.

Yelling at people eating themselves to death totally works when they aren't motivated in the first place.

Posted by: Schlegel at October 21, 2009 9:22 PM

Who cares!!! My boyfriend also agrees with me. He is 10 years older than me, lol. We met online at age-gap club -- http://AgelessOnly.COM/. Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends.

Posted by: Helen at October 23, 2009 1:59 AM

Great blog, appreciate the effort put into this post! Thanks! :D

Posted by: Nathan H. at October 14, 2010 3:05 PM


















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