Pajiba

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments ()

Time Out Magazine has seen the light — after putting together the best 50 debut movies for a director a few weeks ago, the magazine has started to see the value of lists — it’s only a matter of time before they, too, start ranking the hottest serial killers (I can’t help it, myself: Lists are like opiate-fueled hate sex: Random, delusional, messy, and really fucking satisfying).

People love lists. They love to bitch about lists. They love to complain about the omissions, which is why — in my opinion — the best lists necessarily cut off some of the better options. It gives folks something to get pissed off about, which is why — if there are 50 Great Animated Films, you should only do a list of 25, otherwise the only feedback you’re going to get is “Nice list!” I prefer: “Good list, but you forgot _____, you fucking asshole. What the fuck were you thinking? Why don’t you do a little more research next time, you Pajibadonk!”

All of which is to say: Complete, fully comprehensive lists are boring, and when your list of the best animated movies is comprehensive enough to include Transformers: The Movie, then you’re weak-willed Pajina, afraid of negative feedback or alienating readers (and see what I did there? I called Transformers: The Movie unworthy of belonging on a list of best anything. Cue the verbal spitballs from alienated readers in 3 … 2 … 1).

Anyway, I’m not going to give you all 50. That’d be a dick move, and give you no reason to go visit Time Out. I’ll offer up the Top 20. And then you can complain about what’s missing. Of course, if you go check Time Out, the missing movie is probably somewhere in the Top 50, which just leaves you with: “But … but … it should’ve been higher,” which is nowhere near as fun as, “But you forgot _________, asshole.”

1. My Neighbour Totoro (1988) Hayao Miyazaki
2. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) David Hand
3. The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Movie (1979) Chuck Jones and Phil Monroe
4. Fantasia (1940)
5. Toy Story (1995) John Lasseter
6. Spirited Away (2001) Hayao Miyazaki
7. Yellow Submarine (1968) George Dunning
8. Belleville Rendez-vouz (2003) Sylvain Chomet
9. South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999) Trey Parker
10. Robin Hood (1973) Wolfgang Reitherman
11. Bambi (1942) David Hand
12. Grave of the Fireflies (1988) Isao Takahata
13. Dumbo (1941) Ben Sharpsteen
14. Gandahar (1988) René Laloux
15. The Iron Giant (1999) Brad Bird
16. Akira (1988) Katsuhiro Ôtomo
17. The Brave Little Toaster (1987) Jerry Rees
18. The Jungle Book (1967) Wolfgang Reitherman
19. When the Wind Blows (1988) Jimmy T Murakami
20. Pinocchio (1940) Hamilton Luske & Ben Sharpsteen

You see what I’m saying? That’s a predictable, safe list (save for, perhaps, the inclusion of South Park). Those aren’t the best animated movies — they’re the most influential. Or groundbreaking. Fantasia was dullsville. Pretty: But man, try sticking a kid in front of that movie: Jitter city. Also, Toy Story 2 was better than Toy Story (although the original, obviously, was more influential). The Iron Giant should’ve been much higher and Robin Hood bores me to tears. That was a list carefully put together to upset the fewest amount of people. Period.

Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← Marlon Wayans To Play Richard Pryor | Dexter S4/E2 "Remains to Be Seen" →