That Laserdisc is Our Last Hope: Edit Disc of 'Return of the Jedi' Hits Internet
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That Laserdisc is Our Last Hope: Edit Disc of 'Return of the Jedi' Hits Internet

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trade News | October 28, 2013 | Comments ()


Ooh, laserdiscs! Those were like DVDs except the size of records, and cost about the GDP of the Bronx. Of course the engineer in me hates them just for their name, I mean come on, all optical discs whether DVD or CD are literally laserdiscs. They’re discs read by laser. To think, so many years ago we had a perfectly spectacular term like “laserdisc” and said no, no, even though the word “laser”, like “space”, makes everything cooler, we’ll just go ahead and switch over to some random acronyms. How soulless.

Anyway, an old laserdisc was found in someone’s attic and happened to be 30 minutes of edit footage from Return of the Jedi. Different shots of the same scene, slightly differently scripted. They’re gradually getting put up on their own Facebook page, because that made sense to no ever. I can’t post embeds of them because they don’t seem to work right when I do, and even when they do work they have a wall of copyright infringement text stapled onto the top, and therefore Facebook is fascist. But do click on that link if you’d like to login and see the fuzzy glory of Yoda’s three different death scenes.

Myself, I’m still waiting for the alternate scene when it is revealed that in fact Han was Luke’s sister instead of Leia. So many things would make so much make sense. Especially these feelings I have about Indiana Jones.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • bastich

    Does the lost footage contain any more scenes of Leia in the slave bikini?

    I need this information for paper...on the...ah...postmodern feministical properties space bikini in sci-fi films...for studies correspondence course! Yep, that's it.

  • BWeaves

    But did Han shoot first? Is there proof?

  • bastich

    Wrong movie, n00b!

    It's the one where they fight Khan.

  • BWeaves

    Irony is lost on you.

  • frank247

    Does Yoda get the heroes death that he was due as a total badass?

  • Pajiba_Pragmatist

    Yoda is NOT a total badass! Yoda is the single worst leader/mentor/decisionmaker in the history of time.

    On leadership

    1. Billions of credits are spent from his organization's coffers (tax money?) funding a clone army that he is not aware of.

    2. The single most powerful bad guy in the universe is someone he sees regularly, if not socially, yet he can't detect it.

    On decision-making

    1. He refuses to train a child clearly powerful enough to change the "balance" until he is forced to by his former pupil who has so little respect for him that he's willing to shove it down Yoda's throat
    2. He then treats this potentially most powerful Jedi in the history of mankind to a veritable cornucopia of mental abuse and passive-agressive bullying
    3. He FAILS TO FREE THE SLAVE-MOTHER of the the most powerful Jedi to live!!!!!

    On Mentoring

    1. He refuses to train Luke, then he starts, then he tells Luke if he leaves to save his friends and thereby demonstrate his humanity he will fall to the Dark Side. I don't know about you, but if the Dark Side is where you get to show love and respect, to care about others, and to bother yourself with righting injustice, then I am all about the Dark Side.

    2. Again, he constantly tells his mentees that they are ineffective and will never amount to anything. Luke, although a massive whiner, seems to see through this and retain some level of self-esteem. Anakin, who has been enduring this abuse for longer, basically gives in to the Dark Side so that someone will love him.

    3. And just in case we missed the "on the nose" directing, Yoda literally rides on the backs of his charges, nagging all the way. Rarely to do you see something that is used as a metaphor come to life in physical form.

  • BiblioGlow

    Whoa, whoa, WHOA. Slow down there, hoss. Did we forget that there are only three Star Wars movies?
    It's ok, Mondays are hard. Just don't let it happen again.

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