Text Messaging Movie Theaters

Text Message Scrolls Underneath the Movie Screen?

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (46)

Growing up, I watched a lot of MTV, specifically Adam Curry’s show, which was some sort of Top Ten countdown of the day’s most popular music videos. I probably stopped paying much attention to it around the time I wandered off to college, but over the years, I tuned back in occasionally for the new iteration, “TRL,” and what pissed me off most about it — besides the incredibly awful videos they played — was the teenage girls out on the street who broke into the videos to screech with the ear-piercing sound of a thousand melting suns, and also the crawl at the bottom of the screen displaying hundreds of little text messages, commenting on the videos being played. Obnoxious, right?

Can you imagine that happening in your local movie theater? Well, it’s already starting to happen. First, in Chicago. According to the Tribune:

Normally, rampant texting in a movie theater is grounds for ejection.

But in St. Charles, it’s encouraged.

During a screening of “Zoolander,” audience members could heckle the movie via text, then watch as their comments appeared onscreen with the film: “I want a comb-over like Trump” and “Breakdance fighting is becoming more popular in UFC.”

“I’ve described it as a mash-up of ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000’ and Twitter,” said Rien Heald, the Naperville inventor of MuVChat.

Thus far, MuVChat is in the early stages, with three test screenings at Classic Cinemas’ Charlestowne 18 theater. The next will be Saturday’s screening of “Dodgeball” at 10:30 p.m.

“Normally, you don’t want people texting on their phones, [the glowing screens] are kind of like fireflies inside the auditorium,” said Charlestowne manager Randy Pollock. “But if everybody is doing it, it’s fun.”

Damn. This is a terrible idea. It’s not bad enough that the douchester over at Firstshowing.net was live-tweeting a midnight screening of Crank High Voltage last night, but can you imagine being subjected to the exclamation point, Woot-heavy ramblings of a bunch of goddamn teenagers while you’re trying to watch a movie? Sure, they’re only testing it out right now on older movies, but it’s a slippery goddamn slope. It’s not MSTK if it takes you three minutes to type in a text message, and the scene you’re commenting on has already passed. Plus, how the hell can you watch the movie if your goddamn nose is in your iPhone. Can you imagine a text-message screening of Twilight? It’d jam phone signals in an entire metropolitan area.

Seriously: Who thinks this is a good idea? It won’t be long before those same text-messages will start scrolling across the screen underneath an episode of “Lost.” And that, folks, is when go into Uncle Ted Boynton’s basement, break into his whiskey, and pray for the zombie invasion.

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Comments

I'm more baffled at the idea that it takes Dustin 3 minutes to type a text message.

Posted by: Sofía's Identical Hand Twin at April 17, 2009 10:12 AM

I hope this is only for appropriately deemed teenybopper movies. Else my theater days have just come to a tragic end.

Posted by: Cindy at April 17, 2009 10:17 AM

"It’s not MSTK if it takes you three minutes to type in a text message..."

It's not MSTK if the comments aren't funny...

And I don't exactly expect a theatre full of tweens to produce comic gold (as the examples at the beginning of the article would suggest).

Posted by: vercordio at April 17, 2009 10:18 AM

Yeah, the thing about MST3K is that it was slowly written over about two days of watching the movie over and over until the jokes were good enough and then tightly scripted to the time code. This sounds more like that "infinite monkeys with a typewriter" thing so there's probably one or two good jokes. What a delightful evening!

Posted by: Jay at April 17, 2009 10:19 AM

Hmmm...you're right, Sofia. Three minutes Dustin? Man, I have serious butter fingers and even I'm not that slow!

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at April 17, 2009 10:19 AM

I'm more baffled at the idea that it takes Dustin 3 minutes

Well, if one's using complete thoughts and complete sentences, yeah! It is not efficient.

I hate that shit.

Posted by: Jay at April 17, 2009 10:20 AM

WE'RE DOOOOOMED!!!! DOOOOOOMED I TELLS YA!!!!!

Posted by: dave at April 17, 2009 10:26 AM

When I text I use full words and well crafted sentences, commas and parenthesis and semicolons but it STILL doesn't take me three minutes. And I don't have an iPhone or a Blackberry to make it easier for me. I only tell you this so you finally admit that I kick ass, Jay

Posted by: Sofía's Identical Hand Twin at April 17, 2009 10:28 AM

So... hell on earth, then. You could have just said hell on earth.

Posted by: TK at April 17, 2009 10:33 AM

what harm could it...hey! what'r those horsemen doing out there?

Posted by: gp at April 17, 2009 10:36 AM

Seriously, there aren't enough places for the tweeners to twitter and twattle? God invented the Internet for this reason alone, so He could watch Star Trek on the big screen without seeing "chris pin3 so fin3" on the screen.

Posted by: annoyingmouse at April 17, 2009 10:38 AM

So you're telling me, the next time I go to a movie, I may have to bring a samurai sword and get Zatoichi on some teenage asses?

Posted by: admin at April 17, 2009 10:39 AM

A couple of years ago, I had the pleasure of sitting beside a junior high lass in the theater who never took her eyes off of her phone. She text through the commercials, the previews, the opening credits and the first twenty minutes of the movie. PLUS, she didn't have the volume on her keypad turned all the way down. I kept staring at her, even cleared my throat a few times, but she was oblivious. Finally, I reached over, snapped her phone shut, gave her a smile and shook my head no. A couple of minutes later, she moved away from me. Mr. Edna thought I was nuts, but when you teach kids like her all day, you forget you're not in the classroom.

Posted by: superEdna at April 17, 2009 10:41 AM

Of course you do, Sofia. But I still don't believe in the text culture.

Where am I? I'm three minutes down the road, now with fifty cents less to my name.

Posted by: Jay at April 17, 2009 10:45 AM

Yeah, I hate texting, too. That's why I try to make it as similar to e-mailing as possible.

Posted by: Sofía's Identical Hand Twin at April 17, 2009 10:52 AM

Doesn't bother me if they keep it to special showings for twits, couldn't possibly be more disruptive than, like, Rocky Horror night with people throwing rice and spraying water and stuff.

Which reminds me ... I'm somewhat hard of hearing, and a lot of times (especially in multiplexes, where they have to keep the volume down so it doesn't overlap the screens next door) I have to keep my hand cupped to my ear to hear the dialogue. How much would some kind of closed-captioning screen bother the rest of you? Similar to what they do at some operas (um, so I hear -- see what I did there?).

It would be a big help to me.

And don't just knee-jerk pity the handicapped here. If it would really offend you, say so. I'd like to know. Because there are a ton of people my generation, and we're going to have problems like hearing loss to deal with, while at the same time we tend to have more money and more free time to do things like, you know, go to movies.

What if you could get (for an extra $

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 17, 2009 10:55 AM

Ooops, hit post accidentally. I was saying ...

What if you could get for an extra $1 a hand-held device that would script the movie, so I could glance at it during the quiet parts? Then it wouldn't be up on a screen to bother anyone else. Does such a thing exist? Is anyone doing this?

If not, did anyone else just think: cha-CHING! ?

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 17, 2009 10:57 AM

Hey formerly known as bucdaddy, I work for a company that does just that thing. We caption not only TV, but also newly released movies for the hard of hearing. Plus, we make alternative sound mixes, adding visual description, for the blind and visually impaired.

The bummer is, not a lot of people know the service even exists. When I try to get info on theaters offering these services, I tend to hit a lot of walls.

Tell you what though, shoot me an email (shinycaitlyn@gmail.com) and I'll do my best to send you some further info.

Posted by: ShinyKate at April 17, 2009 11:03 AM

“Normally, you don’t want people texting on their phones...But if everybody is doing it, it’s fun.”

What? Does this person ever actually listen to himself speak?

This is possibly the worst idea I've ever heard in my life.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at April 17, 2009 11:06 AM

I wouldn't have a problem with it bucdaddy, as long as they made the print so tiny that you had to use your opera glasses to see it.

The handheld device is a hell of an idea, but superEdna would probably take it away on you.

Posted by: admin at April 17, 2009 11:13 AM

No and that's final. This is just dumb. Guess what, 99% of the time most people aren't funny. Oh, they THINK they're fucking hilarious, you know, when they're regurgitating jokes Dane Cook stole three years ago. But no, just no. We tolerate these people in our lives because they may be of use (usually when not speaking) or because we have priors. But let me loose on a group of strangers in the dark and I'll come out of there looking like The Bride after the Crazy 88 fight.

Posted by: jM at April 17, 2009 11:19 AM

shinykate, Done.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 17, 2009 11:23 AM

Bucdaddy, I feel your pain. I too, am hard-of-hearing, (jet engines, motorcycles, rock & roll, take your pick, 61 years of good times!), and I gave up on movies years ago. Now, I just wait for the DVD and turn on the closed captioning. It's irritating, but I don't have a choice. My problem is the background noise on the soundtrack to the movie, explosions, loud music, etc. Does anybody at the studio listen to the final print before it's released? Didn't think so.

-Ralphie

Posted by: Ralphie at April 17, 2009 11:29 AM

Ralphie, I hope you've sent me an email! :-)

Posted by: ShinyKate at April 17, 2009 11:33 AM

,daddy, I actually did go to an opera a couple of years ago at the Met (La Boheme, it was lovely) and they have a closed caption screen in the back of all the seats. In that case, of course, it was for translation, but I certainly could use it for any movie, since I have difficulty hearing dialogue over background noise (I can't talk on the phone while standing near the refrigerator or running water). I thought that was a pretty nifty thing.

Also nifty, I took a sign language class last year and learned (and I am assuming that it's similar to what shinykate's talking about) that there are these devices that deaf people use for movies, which is essentially a small, clear screen that gets the closed captioning run along the bottom of it. It goes between you and the movie screen, and essentially it's like looking at a DVD with the captions on; plus, nobody has to read the captions if they don't want to.

Personally, I have zero problem with subtitles. I turn them on for everything I watch on DVD, including things I've seen one million times. It's helped me to learn to read them much quicker, and I don't lose any of the action. Plus, if they put up the subtitles, there won't be room for this text-to-screen bullshit.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at April 17, 2009 11:37 AM

Ralphie,

Then I'm sure you've noticed that for some reason the volume on DVDs is set WAAAAAY too low. My TV has a volume range up to 60. I can comfortably watch and understand most TV shows in the 8-30 range. But almost all DVDs I have to crank up to 50 or 60 and even then I sometimes need the CC. I don't get what that's about.

I've stuck my head into plenty of amps and speakers over the years too, but as I understand it I've probably always had nerve deafness. The audiologists I've consulted say a hearing aid wouldn't help. And even when I can "hear" what you say, often I can't quite process it the first time and have to ask for a repeat. Be assured, it annoys me to have to do that as much as it annoys you. I STILL haven't trained Mrs. , to look directly at me when she's speaking to me, but I'm working on it. We've only been together 28 years.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 17, 2009 11:40 AM

AvB,

Thankfully, I can hear you SQUEEEEEE perfectly well every Tuesday at 3:59. It never gets old ;-)

Yeah, the one opera I went to had supertitles. They were a little hard to see but at least from what I read I could follow the story a bit. Until it bored the hell out of me, anyway (this one was, like, three hours long).

I never inquired at the theater about listening devices because I figured they were just that: something you had to hang on your ear. But give me something like you're talking about, yeah, I'd have to look into that, literally. What do you do with this thing, hold it up and look through it, or wear it like 3-D glasses or something?

I've sent shinykate an e-mail, see what she has for me. So I'm hopeful.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 17, 2009 11:48 AM

Here's an idea. When someone in the audience sends a text message to the theater, the movie stops, a seating chart of the theater appears, and a red circle shows up wherever the texter is sitting, saying: "THIS PERSON INTERRUPTED YOUR MOVIE." Oh, and you strap lead pipes and hatchets under everyone's seats beforehand.

Posted by: Lucas at April 17, 2009 11:49 AM

What a fantastic idea! Yay! HAHAHAHAHA! OMFG, It's going to be sooo cool to not have to sit there and pretend to watch the movie! YAYAYAY! I'm going to bring a bat too! A sturdy wooden bat! WHOO! And bonk people on the head really hard for comedic effect! HAHAHAHAHA! Actually, it'd be a better idea for me to wait at the entrance to the theater to bonk people! HAHAHAHA! YAY! And I can dress in all black!!!! GHAHAHHAA! AnD I'ma bring my drunkboots and some gasoline!! hahahHHAHAhjklsas acn.......stupidparentsneverlovedmeHAHAHAHA! And Icanmelt the phones to handses! HAHAHA... shjagh bnb

If this ever catches on and becomes the norm? I will be arrested. There will be a movie made about the atrocities I committed. And people will text over it, starting the cycle anew...

Posted by: Skitz at April 17, 2009 12:04 PM

My sister and I went to the movies together once (that was the first and last time as adults). She texted (hate, hate, hate that word) the whole time. I hissed my displeasure at her several times, the backlt keypad, the lit up screen, the audacity at ignoring the movie I paid for her to see......she too, was oblivous! I could've throttled her! She called me militant (apparently she was trying to insult me). It would drive me batshit if I had to put up with a whole theatre full of these people and have the result displayed for my viewing un-pleasure (is that a word? Oh well, it is now!). No Thank You.

Posted by: Eyvi at April 17, 2009 12:09 PM

As the resident contrarian (yes, I've dubbed myself, who's to notice?) I actually think this would be kind of funny in a sort of Rocky Horror Midnight Showing sort of aberration.

Of course, in a first run setting, I think I personally would tar and feather the theater manager, but with a crappy film (Wicker Man anyone?) this might actually make the film enjoyable.

Posted by: Duane at April 17, 2009 12:11 PM

Just popping in to say anyone who emails me at shinycaitlyn@gmail.com will get a link to sign on for a weekly email list that will keep you informed on rear-window captioning (those devices Anna V B was referring to), including which movie houses are offering them, and for what movies. :-)

Wow that sentence was a lot more complicated then it had to be.

And regarding movie-texters, I'm all for Lucas's idea.

Incidentally, there's a cinema out here in Hollywood where texting (along with other forms of rudeness) can get you booted out. Admission's a little high, but it's well worth it.

Posted by: ShinyKate at April 17, 2009 12:32 PM

What if my phone battery's dead?

Can I just yell random shit at the screen, or would that be considered rude?

Posted by: Skitz at April 17, 2009 12:33 PM

Back when I had adults to talk to, we'd often wind up withour version of 'what's wrong with the youth of today' conversation which was this:

Everyone we knew born from 1976 on (especially 1976 for some reason) seemed desperate to 'join up' with others, anyone at all, as long as they were in a group. All our little brothers and sisters would be perfectly destroyed/tortured if they were given solitary confinement for 12 hours. Our siblings were practically suicidal at the prospect of one single night at home, alone. The ones I know who aren't permenantly coupled up/social butterflies are computer addicts, every one. Does this seem like a bullshit point of view? I've always wondered...

Texting seems like that too, at least to me - needing to be part of some groupthink thing active or passive, but constant. I'm certain that's why twitter works for so many. I'm not judging here (or even sure it's a real observation)...just curious.

Posted by: replica at April 17, 2009 1:22 PM

Hate fucking texting during the movie. Those bright screens piercing my eye during the movie ugh. Watch the fucking movie or get the fuck out of the theater. It's especially rampant with teens I guess because you go to movies just to say you have instead of watching the damn thing.

Last time I went to the theater and someone was texting in front of me my boyfriend kicked the fuck out of their chair and she stopped. Normally I don't encourage such behavior but fuck it I thought he was awesome for that.

Posted by: Hurp Durp at April 17, 2009 1:52 PM

10,000 points to anyone who brings one of those cellphone jammers into that theater and kills the signal.

Posted by: TV's Wisecracking Crow at April 17, 2009 1:57 PM

Hey (tcfka bucdaddy),

For the kind of hearing loss you've described, auditory listening training has proved effective.

Check out the LACE program at http://www.neurotone.com/

I used it, and found it helpful. Probably would be more helpful if I were still using it, but ran out of free time with the kids around.

Posted by: Drake at April 17, 2009 2:06 PM

That's really interesting, replica. I've heard the idea put forth that there's no real unifying event that holds the last couple of generations together as a culture or society (unlike previous generations, which had things like WWII, Korea, the Cold War, or Viet Nam. That was the last real, big event-type thing that brought everyone together, as divisive as it was). And I would think that 9/11 was just too late, and too short-lived, to act as that type of catalyst for people to group together and stick together behind a common cause or goal.

Mmmm deep thoughts

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at April 17, 2009 2:25 PM

Also, re: the captions thing, I'm sure we're not far from some technological advance like glasses that have the captions scroll across the bottom of them. They don't bother anyone else, but you can have them if you want them. I already pay a couple extra bucks for 3D glasses, why wouldn't I for those?

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at April 17, 2009 2:27 PM

Stuff like Twitter/texting also lets students fuck around during class instead of doin' some learnin'. Not to mention the instant drama it affords the queens.

Posted by: Hurp Durp at April 17, 2009 2:28 PM

I'll be the lone voice of dissent, I suppose.

I agree that the humor is going to be delayed and less relevant to what's onscreen (although if you're lucky you can account for that and time messages accordingly in anticipation of a scene), but I must admit I don't think this is a terrible idea. As long as the event is designated as being this, why would I have a problem with it? Logistically it might or might not work well, and it might or might not catch on with audiences. Some audience members will of course be more clever than others. Obviously I don't want it going on during new episodes of a television show or during a movie I'm seeing on an opening weekend, but I don't see the problem with a special screening/revival that has this feature if it is known what is being purchased.

One of the best times I ever had at a movie theater was MST3K-ing Catwoman with a friend in an empty theater. I've never laughed so hard in my life. As I see it, this is the closest you can get to a communal experience of that without having the chaos of people's talking over each other.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at April 17, 2009 3:34 PM

10,000 points to anyone who brings one of those cellphone jammers into that theater and kills the signal.

EVIL!

Posted by: TV's Frank at April 17, 2009 3:51 PM

To be fair, I think this technology will (most likely) only be used for screenings of "cult films," where snarky audiences can get their comments on the screen in a Vh1 Pop-Up Video-esque fashion.

In that kind of scenario, it can work because the audience is collectively in agreement of that concept.

If it happens for new movies, it'll probably be divvied for "special screenings" of it. Highly doubt this would work on a mass-audience scale and highly highly doubt this is going to be the future of the movie-going experience.

Posted by: Matthew at April 17, 2009 5:46 PM

Slightly OT, but ... I've noticed when I'm standing in the back of the rock club, I can tell when the audience thinks a song sucks because suddenly all the phones light up (it's sort of the reverse effect of when we all used to raise our lighters). I called one of my band friends on it when I saw him do it. He said yeah, he notices it when he's on stage. Which I guess makes it kind of rude ...

Anyway, there's gotta be some way I can turn that into a job, giving bands instant feedback on their set lists by counting cell phone lights. "Sorry, boys: 15,118 phones. I TOLD you that ballad is a momentum-killer."
---
Thanks, drake.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 17, 2009 8:22 PM

Sofia, trust me when i say that IPhones dont make texting easier for anybody.

Posted by: smatt584 at April 17, 2009 9:08 PM

I am going to preface this by saying I'm young. I'm not a fucking tween, but i'm 22 and whatnot. Yet, maybe i'm an old jewish man at heart, because i hate twitter. I hate twitter like a pajiban hates twilight. Which is worse you say? Freaking twitter. There can be only one Stephanie Seymour (i'm not actually going to look up her name, she doesn't deserve that) because most truly stupid are too lazy to write an entire novel, let alone find someone to publish it. But, now anyone can take the time to write one whole sentence to "express themselves." Guess what person who twitters:anything you say in 25 words or less is NOT, I repeat NOT possibly substantive. No one 50 years from now will be analyzing twitter comments to learn what people thought on issues. Twitter is the technological equivalant of writing nonsense on a bathroom wall.

Why does this upset me so much? because i think it is the product of a culture of education (that i just missed out on) that teaches children: You are special, anything you say has merit, you are freaking god's gift to humanity.This Bullshit + epic lazyness + gullible-ass stupid people (of which there are a certain percentage in every generation) + desire to hear yourself talk = twitter. Fuck twitter.

Posted by: "luker" the barbarian at April 18, 2009 9:50 AM

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Text Message Scrolls Underneath the Movie Screen?

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