transformers-age-of-xxtinction-teaser-mark-wahlberg640.jpg

Terrible News, Everyone! Lex Luthor's Manly Mane and Sequels, Sequels, Sequels!

By Jodi Smith | Trade News | June 18, 2014 | Comments ()

By Jodi Smith | Trade News | June 18, 2014 |


transformers-age-of-xxtinction-teaser-mark-wahlberg640.jpg

According to Batman News, Batman vs Superman: Shitty Subtitle of Justice has made another change to the villainous Lex Luthor. Best known as a bald dickweed, Luthor began in the comics with red hair, which he eventually fashioned into a bald-on-the-top-mullet-in-the-back.

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Jesse Eisenberg’s Luthor will be the Pre-Explosion version, but with luscious blonde locks. Whoopty-shit.

Transformers: Age of Extinction hasn’t even hit theaters yet and Paramount Pictures has already greenlit Transformers 5: Sure To Have A Subtitle That Doesn’t Help You Remember Where It Sits In The Franchise to be released in 2016.

Other sequels being released by Paramount in 2016?


  • G.I. Joe 3

  • Star Trek 3

  • Hansel and Gretel 2 (not a sequel to the Tim Burton short)

  • Beverly Hills Cop 4

  • Paranormal Activity 5 (The Marked Ones didn’t count)

Not one to be outdone, Fox has confirmed writers for Avatar 2. Also Avatar 3. Oh, and Avatar 4. The sequel gets Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver (Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes). The threequel gets Josh Friedman (War of the Worlds). The fourquel gets Shane Salerno (Savages). They are being planned for release in 2016, 2017, and 2018, most likely in appropriate order.

Also in the shitter pipeline at Fox is Independence Day 2, set for 2016. The aliens come back with a patch for their spaceships.


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