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February 10, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | February 10, 2009 |

I’ve got a plethora of mostly bland television news for you this afternoon, so don’t touch that dial. Get ready to be APATHIZED! Prepare to be willed into listlessness. Hang on to your drool, folks. Here we go:

First up, NBC — looking for the perfect complement to its stalwart reality show, “The Biggest Loser,” a great show about sweat and obesity and the human condition — has signed up Tony Robbins and his new reality show, still untitled.

The show will follow Robbins as he takes participants and helps them face personal challenges; the pilot, for example, focused on someone who was a lifelong stutterer — and who, by the end of the episode, was speaking in front of a public audience. For each segment, Robbins will create a 30-day program for the individual to get their life back on track. Cameras will capture that evolution throughout the month, documentary-style.

I can feel my heart warm already — actually, I think that’s heartburn. Tony Robbins: You motherfucker.

Next up, Chris Moynihan, who you may know as one of the dudes on “Coupling” (The British version), has written an ensemble comedy for NBC, entitled “100 Questions for Charlotte Payne.” It’s an ensemble comedy about a woman navigating dating life in NYC. Man! That’s original. Nothing at all like “Coupling,” or “Friends,” or nearly every other ensemble comedy of the last 10 years!

Are you sleepy yet? Well, wait: There’s more! ABC has announced the lineup of “celebrities” for this round of “Dancing with the Stars.” Hang on to your hat — maybe snort some cocaine off of Rosie Perez’s ass. Here we go:

Belinda Carlisle,
Lil’ Kim
Nancy O’Dell
Denise Richards
David Alan Grier
Steve Wozniak
Shawn Johnson
Gilles Marini
Ty Murray
Lawrence Taylor
Chuck Wicks

There are two big twists in this season of “Dancing with the Stars.” One is that both Jewel and her husband will appear (becoming the first washed-up couple in “DWTS” history, and two: Each week, after a celebrity is eliminated, he or she will be ground up and made into glue! Fantastic. Oh, LT: Your best years are behind you.

Finally, because no TV round-up could be complete without a viral video, here’s the latest from Kimmell, featuring Teri Hatcher’s “Backyard Fights.” Get ready for Teri as you’ve never seen her before (no, not with meat on her bones):

Small Screen News and Self Help / Dustin Rowles

Industry | February 10, 2009 |

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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