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Taylor Lautner Stars In .... That Movie with the Guy from Twilight In It

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (18)

abduction-trailer-2.jpg

Taylor Lautner’s new movie, That Movie with the Guy from Twilight In It, opens on September 23rd. It stars That Guy from Twilight. In the film, That Guy from Twilight discovers that his parents are not only dead, but not actually his parents at all. And for whatever reason, that’s cause for shattering a window. Seems kind of extreme to me, but what do I know. Maybe his DNA contains the secret to eternal life. That I could see shattering a window for.

So, you go, Guy from Twilight. Show ‘em you’re more than just …









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Comments

Whatever Dustin. I'll be there on the first night. I dont care what anyone says Lautner MADE Twilight bearable and he was the better eye candy (how people think RPatz is attracive is beyond me) At least this looks decent. Leave Lautner alone!

Posted by: Frella at August 12, 2011 10:12 AM

looks retarded, but i'll netflix it for molina and weaver.

Posted by: gp at August 12, 2011 10:21 AM

I'm going to go see this. Mostly because my friend worked on it, but also because there is a chase scene through PNC Park. I'm a sucker for seeing my favorite places show up in films. When there's inevitably an Abduction 2: Shit Gets Real, feel free to blame me.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at August 12, 2011 10:22 AM

I was right there with you, Dustin up until I saw Sigourney Weaver! and Alfred Molina! were in this because then I had an uncontrollable urge to run out and see it NOW.

But then Taylor Lautner opened his mouth and proceeded to do some of his "actressin" and he just ruined it all for me. Couldn't they have made him mute or, better yet, a mime?

I swear, HOLLYWOOD RUINS EVERYTHING!

Posted by: smijca at August 12, 2011 10:29 AM

I thought he was the OTHER GUY FROM TWILIGHT? The buff one.

I'm so not hip.

Posted by: logan at August 12, 2011 10:41 AM

Yay! Another chance for the world to see that The Other Guy From Twilight has as much talent and charisma as a bucket of rocks!

Posted by: figgy at August 12, 2011 11:02 AM

Why a movie about a guy who finds out his parents abducted him when he was a baby turns into an action packed thriller where the Lama from Twilight wields a gun is beyond me. I'd rather eat the broken glass from the poster.

Posted by: aptrapani at August 12, 2011 11:09 AM

A gay action hero! Yay!

Posted by: Jeff in Middletucky at August 12, 2011 11:18 AM

HAH!
FIGGY agrees with me. I'm saved!

Posted by: logan at August 12, 2011 11:18 AM

Yeah noone can make Twilight "bearable" Frella, not even a roided out 17 year old with his shirt off. Why don't you have a seat, right over there?

Posted by: aroorda at August 12, 2011 11:28 AM

Huh, was that Jason Issacs as Fake (AssumedtobeSpy)Dad? Well, I suppose this is in hsi wheelhouse.

Heh, OGFT tried to have a Damon-as-Bourne face near the end there. It was as stupid lokking as it sounds and...

Wait a second...

DIRECTED BY JOHN SINGLETON!>?!?!?!?!?!OMGWTFBBQ?!?!!

Posted by: Vermillion at August 12, 2011 12:03 PM

I've seen some shameless plugs in my day but god damn, prominently featuring the Pittsburgh Pirates in an action sequence? That's the equivalent of setting an important conversation in the main dining room of a Hardee's

Posted by: Northfield at August 12, 2011 12:13 PM

looks retarded, but i'll netflix it for molina and weaver.

http://youtu.be/T549VoLca_Q

as for this movie, looks like someone is trying to take the shortcut to stardom. i've said it before and i'll say it again. wearing suits to Letterman and telling everyone how much you admire Damon or Leo (ref: Efron) is not going to cut it.

take dat money and invest in some acting classes. also, an action hero right out of the gate? aim small, miss small Lautner.

dat being said, i appreciate Efron's work in St. Cloud but looks like the Hudgens stink was still lingering then. maybe he'll get a shot now? oh wait, he's on New Year's Eve.

as for Lily Collins, girlfriend can use a pair of tweezers like NOW! coz dats all i can remember from Priest.

Posted by: haplo at August 12, 2011 3:01 PM

"We will find you."

"Not if I find you first."

Surely this means this movie won't be a long one? I mean, even if someone stands still, then we are looking at, what? Fifteen minutes, tops?

Posted by: nix at August 12, 2011 3:35 PM

Harry Potter with guns.

(I didn't watch the trailer with sound on)

Posted by: superasente at August 12, 2011 5:28 PM

LUCIUS!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!

Posted by: lg at August 12, 2011 9:48 PM

Didn't recognize him with his shirt on. A PG-13 Jason Bourne rip-off at best.

Posted by: Mr. Stitch at August 12, 2011 10:20 PM

Looks like it might have been a decent flick if they hadn't been saddled with cutey-pie there. I can totally see the look in Weaver's and Molina's face when they had to act next to him. Sorry, but he has no tough-kid charisma at all and no chops whatsoever.

Posted by: Protoguy at August 13, 2011 5:26 AM