web counter
 

Just Put a GPS Chip in Her Already

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (15)

30taken.xlarge1.jpg

Taken 2 was announced quite some time ago so it’s sort of funny that they’re only getting around to confirming Liam Neeson’s involvement at this point. Would they have bothered making it without him? Probably. Because straight-to-DVD is what pays for van Damme’s back acne treatments these days. This comes right on the heels of the announcement last week of Neeson being confirmed as on board for the Clash of the Titans sequel Wrath of the Titans returning in his epic role as Zeus, king of the anything-for-a-paycheck gods. So Neeson will spend the next couple of years making the same films he made a couple of years ago. Someone should tactfully make sure that he’s not going full on Groundhog Day on us, though it could be worse. He could spend eternity making Phantom Menace over and over again.

There’s no word yet on Taken 2’s plot, although one presumes that bad guys will kidnap someone Neeson cares about. And he will find them. And he will kill them. All while speaking in a perfectly level tone.

We’ve also gotten the related news in the wake of the the news that The Transporter is being spun off into a television show that EuropaCorp is planning on doing the same thing with Taken. I wonder if they’ll have his daughter kidnapped every episode, or just have it happen once per season with a series arc. I urge that they just cast Elisha Cuthbert this time for the easy joke. Maybe she can be menaced by a mountain lion in the fourth season.

(source: Screen Crave)









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Trailer | The Pirate In Me Is Lost Somewhere At Sea | Boo-Boo Kills Yogi | Every Now And Then, I Will Bring You Joy →









Comments

My favorite thing about Taken was the message it sent to terrify fathers and daughters everywhere: Slutty girls get turned into druggie whores and killed. Virgins get rescued by their pappa.

Don't give it up, girls. Or you too will end up a dead heroin harlot.

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at December 14, 2010 10:40 AM

I've Taken a dump.

Posted by: sars at December 14, 2010 10:40 AM

Your hot wife dumped you for a richer, smarter dude?

You can still punch Europe in the face.

YOU DA MAN, DAD, YOU STILL DA MAN.

~~~

Posted by: Meander at December 14, 2010 10:53 AM

Meander, I sort of love you right now. I burst out laughing in the office. Luckily, the boss had his door closed.

Posted by: Reba at December 14, 2010 10:56 AM

@The Other Agent Johnson: Hang on a minute, didn't we already learn that lesson in Scream number whatever? (crosses legs like the good girl she is)

Posted by: cinekat at December 14, 2010 10:57 AM

Van Damme already saved his fictional child from a tiger (with the help of Dennis Rodman). So Neeson would have to go bigger than a mountain lion to be impressive.

Posted by: Wednesday at December 14, 2010 11:07 AM

I LOVED Taken. That movie is the definition of instant gratification. Just a quick satisfying movie where the hero succeeds Every. Single. Time. No matter how ridiculous or improbable whatever he's doing is. I know it made the entire movie silly and unrealistic and unsuspenseful, but seriously, who cares? I had a blast watching Neeson kick ass across Europe. In fact, I hope this sequel really is called Takening, because let's call it like it is.

Posted by: valerie at December 14, 2010 11:52 AM

They should have gone with the working title:
"Bitter divorced guy's wet dream."

Posted by: Mrcreosote at December 14, 2010 11:56 AM

I hope it's even more takener than the original!

Posted by: Patti at December 14, 2010 12:04 PM

Taken was Sat-is-fying. I'm against war and the death penalty, but right before Mr. Neeson killed some sex trafficking piece of shit I yelled, "Kill the Muthafucka!" and afterward I smoked a cigarette.

Posted by: debbye at December 14, 2010 3:17 PM

When news of the sequel came out there were three pages of possible titles in the AV Club comment section, this was one of them. They were all great. Also liked: "Took."

Posted by: lawnjart at December 14, 2010 4:07 PM

I'm surprised to see so much love for this movie. I enjoy a brainless romp as much as the next guy, but I found this to be vile.

Americans are warned away from Europe like it's some slighter colder version of Somalia. Blonde virginal daughters are kidnapped by swarthy Albanians to be sold to seedy Arabs while the corrupt French just look on. Good job the guy from the CIA is here to sort them foreigners out.

By the way, I'm guessing Liam Neeson is supposed to be American in this - you really couldn't tell from his accent.

Posted by: Simon at December 14, 2010 5:05 PM

Best comment thread ever.

Posted by: EZissou at December 14, 2010 9:01 PM

I LOVED "Taken" because of what others have said but also because I never expected Liam Neeson to be such a badass!! I mean, he had always been such a Mr. Nice Guy in the few movies I'd seen him in so watching him kick asses and shoot big guns and act all MANLY was just too much for me. I loved it and I watch it over and over. I don't care what anybody says. That movie was great fun!! The sequel will probably be a total mess of disappointment but that doesn't take anything away from the original.

Posted by: mslewis at December 15, 2010 12:07 AM

Hehe. I love both Taken and The Transporter. The former was kind of darkly brilliant, or at least a very competently made, satisfying film that pushed the edges both thematically and violence-wise (finally, a hero who ACTUALLY kills the bad guys in cold blood!) and the latter is just cheesy action-movie good fun.

Posted by: Claire at December 19, 2010 2:55 PM