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SyFy Continues To Believe People Watch Their Movies For Reasons Other Than Drinking Games: A Rebooting Of Waterworld In The Works

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | November 27, 2012 | Comments ()


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Dammit, SyFy! First you change your name from Sci Fi Channel, which makes sense, to SyFy, which does not. You go from airing The X-Files and Mystery Science Theater 3000 to rolling out Pumpkinhead: The Pumpkining and Shark Vs. Debbie Gibson's Acting Chops. Now you want to make movies from Universal's extensive catalog of intellctual property with a vastly decreased budget? No. Bad. STEP AWAY.

SyFy, the reigning King of ghost shows and movies involving iterations of giant animals, believes that the Kevin Costner shitbucket Waterworld is ripe for a reboot.. Ripe is the proper term, though our usage may differ, SyFy. I mean, did you see Waterworld? Wasn't there a map tattooed on a kid's back that led to the imaginatively named Dryland? I seem to recall jet ski chases, Costner with some sort of rat tail or something, mutants, and names such as Mariner. I feel like this doesn't really need a rewatch. Or a recap. Nevermind a reboot.

SyFy thinks a 400,000 strong viewership disagrees with me. Listen, honey, just because drunk and/or hungover people don't switch the channel when you peddle your sub-par wares doesn't mean that those people are actually watching your offerings. Maybe you should just stick to your "Original" stuff, like the totally-not-an-attempted-ripoff "American Horror House" and the not-at-all-related-to-the-HBO-hit "True Bloodthirst."

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Comments Are Welcome, Douches Are Not


  • Give me a fifth of whiskey, an air horn to blare in my ears whenever I nod off, and I could turn this channel into something better than what it is now.

  • Bodhi

    They want remake this crap, but they canceled Eureka. What.The.Hell.

    Well, at least I still have Haven & Eric Balfour

  • Idle Primate

    I enjoyed eureka but it had gotten stale. Even the actors all seemed bored. Ioegged itself down in bigger storylines. So many shows eventually collapse under their own weight

  • Hobo Jim

    it's slightly odd that on this article there is a link to "Six 90s Movies That Actually Deserve A Remake", with "Waterworld" first on the list

    http://www.cinemablend.com/new...

  • Idle Primate

    I always enjoy waterworld even if it is two completely competing kinds of movies slammed together. No one else likes waterworld?

  • strand0410

    I always had a soft spot for Waterworld. The first time I watched it, was too young to know of all the shit behind-the-scenes that has since become legendary but it's not a bad movie. At the very least, it looked pretty and some of the action was very inspired.

  • emmelemm

    The best part about Waterworld is when the boat Dennis Hopper took over is revealed as the Exxon Valdez.

  • DarthCorleone

    I saw part of Waterworld on a movie channel the other day and was very confused when they did not find the Mount Everest plaque on dryland. Now I have learned that was cut from the theatrical version and that I must have just seen it on a television airing of the extended cut.

    This might seem like an insignificant anecdote, but it greatly affects my tongue-in-cheek enjoyment of Waterworld.

  • BWeaves

    Wasn't Waterworld the movie where all the characters stood around on boats and SMOKED, although nobody knew where land was? Don't you have to grow tobacco on land?

  • strand0410

    It's implied that the Smokers simply hoarded all the cigarettes after the ice caps melted, just like tinned food and texta pens.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    algae, the tobacco of the sea

  • amylu

    "...and the not-at-all-related-to-the-Showtime-hit 'True Bloodthirst.'"

    Um...HBO hit?

    I confess to watching (and even secretly loving) SyFy's "Haven" and "Being Human." But I just can't with their movie offerings.

  • Pinky McLadybits

    Fixed! Thanks for the heads up.

  • ed newman

    Waterworld is the very definition of craptastic. You can not try to out-crap it. If someone with vision could re-imagine it a la Battlestar Galactica it could be epic, but not SyFy.

    However, if the new show prominently features the Mariner's sailboat I am totally there. I can't help it. That thing is like a post-apocalyptic KITT.

  • Dragon Wars.

    That's all you need to know.

  • ed newman

    I'll check it out, thanks

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I said this! I did! Less than a month ago, I said Waterworld could be awesomely rebooted.

    But I was thinking of a station with money.

  • BlackRabbit

    So it's a whole channel of mockbusters?

  • emmelemm

    Yes.

  • Fredo

    I think Waterworld is ripe for a reboot. Just not on SyFy, where it'll star Jeremy London as the Mariner, Treat Williams as Deacon and Desperate Actress Happy to not be in Porn as Helen. Or where the Sharktopus, the Super Shark and the Piranha can be guest stars.

  • The Other Agent Johnson

    Those are all reasons why I think SyFy SHOULD tackle the property. The possibilities are all beautifully, crapulently awesome.

  • BobbFrapples

    Moisture Zone.

  • Fredo

    Danger Zone

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