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No, Really - Don't Come Back / TK

Trade News | September 1, 2009 | Comments (28)

Dark Castle pictures has caught the comic book bug/sickness, and apparently one of the properties that producer Joel Silver is hot on is DC Comics’ Swamp Thing, according to an interview he did with Collider. For those who haven’t read the comic, or who missed out on the two unfortunate existing film adaptations (and one really unfortunate USA television series), Swamp Thing is either Alex Olsen or Alec Holland (depending on which series you read — the Alan Moore reboot featuring Alec Holland is far superior). The creature is, through either science gone wrong or a strange form of elemental possession (it was re-conceived as an entity possessing the thoughts and, perhaps soul, of Alec Holland) a plant-like monster who…

… it’s complicated. There have actually been around five or six Swamp Things — those are just the main two. It’s also not to be mixed up with Marvel Comics’ Man-Thing, which is a remarkably similar character. Swamp Thing is a shambling plant creature that fights bad guys and tries to find a cure for his strange existence. He’s a hideous thing who has super strength, can regenerate, and… um… control plants. It’s cooler than it sounds, though not much cooler.

There have actually been some pretty good runs of the comic, the aforementioned Alan Moore one being the best. Of course, we know how pitiful Hollywood has been at adapting his works (The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, V For Vendetta, Watchmen — YES, I said Watchmen), so they’ve got a tough row to hoe.

Oh, and Joel Silver wants to make the film in 3-D. Of course he does. Because nothing says “action packed” like friggin’ plants in 3-D.

You know what? I’ve let it percolate a bit, and I’ve decided — this is a terrible idea.

However, it does give me the opportunity to show you this.

Wes Craven. The man has some serious misses on his resume, y’all.


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Comments

Oh man, don't get me started on Alan Moore movies. I am probably the only smart person I know who liked V for Vendetta, and enjoyed watching the Watchmen.

Posted by: chayes at September 1, 2009 10:07 AM

I love that midgets don't belong in the swamp. That makes me happy inside.

Though, the rest of it can suck my balls.

Posted by: Rowen at September 1, 2009 10:07 AM

I'm telling you right now, Monsters and Midgets is going to be the next Angels and Demons.

Posted by: SaBrina at September 1, 2009 10:08 AM

Would it be possible to elevate this idea past a campy mess? How is this not going to be Toxic Avenger-esque?

Let's not forget the live action TV series that lasted a few seasons in the early 90's. In related news, I watched waaaaaaaay too much TV as a kid.

Posted by: branded at September 1, 2009 10:20 AM

I thought V For Vendetta was great and Watchmen was excellent. I love both the comics and the movies. I know quite a few people who feel the same way. Despite some flaws, Watchmen is really one of the best comic book movies of all time.

As a kid, I loved the Swamp Thing movie with Adrienne Barbeau. Then again, as a kid I also loved Hawk The Slayer, Beastmaster, Battle Beyond The Stars, Krull, and a whole slew of other really bad sci-fi/fantasy type movies. So, while I haven't seen Swamp Thing in probably 20+ years or so, I am pretty sure it was awful.

I would have a hard time imagining a good movie being made from this concept. I've only read a few of Moore's Swamp Thing issues and I just don't think it would translate well on film without really dumbing it down and that would lose what made it cool.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at September 1, 2009 10:28 AM

There have actually been some pretty good runs of the comic,

Neil Gaiman's Black Orchid, heavy cameo by Swamp Thing. Magnificent.

Posted by: twig at September 1, 2009 10:33 AM

Swamp Thing shows up a few times in Hellblazer too, and Constantine gives him endless shit, which is entertaining. I also recall there being a party at which Thing (goaded by Constantine of course) uses his hippie nature magic to grow a dinky little pot plant into a prodigious forest of weed for the party goers. So for this to be good, all they need to do is reboot Hellblazer (fuck you Keanu) and use Thing as a side character.

Posted by: Steven Lloyd Wilson at September 1, 2009 10:38 AM


Posted by: Steven Lloyd Wilson at September 1, 2009 10:38 AM

Agreed. Most of my exposure to Swamp Thing has been through Hellblazer comics. I still can't believe what they did with that movie. When I first seen it, I hadn't really read the comics and found a lot of the concepts intresesting. Since then, I've read a lot of the trade paperbacks and am astounded at the direction they took. While the magic and concepts are very cool, what makes Hellblazer great is John Constantine. Keanu never had a chance of pulling off his assholic charm, not to mention his Britshness. And Shia Lebouf as Chas? Unbelievable. Moving the series from rainy, moody England to warm, sunny California?

So much potential wasted right there... Especially since Tilda Swinton makes an awesome Gabriel and Peter Stromaire was a fantastic Satan.

Stupid cross shotgun thing.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at September 1, 2009 10:48 AM

Listen, DR, you're already on my list. So, I am going to pretend that you DID NOT just dis the awesome 1982 Adrienne Barbeau masterwork Swamp Thing.

And we'll leave it at that.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 1, 2009 10:52 AM

Actually, Beaverplatz, that was me. And yes, I will dis it to my heart's content because IT WAS SHIT.

Yeah, I said it.

So there.

Posted by: TK at September 1, 2009 10:57 AM

I liked Watchmen, and I was happy that it flopped. No money means no sequel.

Posted by: Chugga at September 1, 2009 11:02 AM

I liked Watchmen, and I was happy that it flopped. No money means no sequel.

Posted by: Chugga at September 1, 2009 11:02 AM

I wish it had done better. While I wouldn't put it past anyone, I really don't think there would have been a sequel. That chances of that happening would have been incredibly low, even if it had done very well. Even if there was a risk that there would have been, it's a risk I would have been willing to take to see the movie do better commercially in order to have studios put more faith behind smarter, complex R rates "comic book" movies.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at September 1, 2009 11:07 AM

I watched that trailer for Swamp Thing. I kept waiting for Mike Nelson, Crow T. Robot, and Tom Servo to show up. They didn't show up. Now I'm disappointed and I've lost a few precious brain cells thanks to the poopervescence of Swamp Thing.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits (aka Dangle McGee) at September 1, 2009 11:11 AM

it's a risk I would have been willing to take to see the movie do better commercially in order to have studios put more faith behind smarter, complex R rates "comic book" movies.

How much money did "The Dark Knight" make again?

Posted by: twig at September 1, 2009 11:12 AM

What a lovely picture of the Swamp Thing above. And I don't care a thing about this news.

Watchmen the movie was a massive disappointment.

Posted by: Jerce at September 1, 2009 11:14 AM

How much money did "The Dark Knight" make again?

Posted by: twig at September 1, 2009 11:12 AM

I think they are viewing that as the exception and not the rule. After the less-than-expected box office success of Watchmen and the latest Punisher, I remember reading an article where at least one studio said it was pretty much done with R rated comic book movies.

Furthermore, Dark Knight was rated PG-13.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at September 1, 2009 11:17 AM

"Adrienne Boobeau and Swamp Thing, an outrageous PAIR."

Best trailer line ever.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 1, 2009 11:20 AM

Thank you AVB, I was going through the comments like, "Someone defend this fucking movie!" Adrienne Barbeau had some fantastic tits...and if I recall, outfits in that movie. There is nothing wrong with a woman running around in a wet t-shirt shooting guns. I repeat, nothing! I even enjoyed the TV series. The Toxic Avenger can suck Swamp Things interesting balls, because I can't recall if he'd actually have balls, or if they would be like two weird growths that kind of looked like, hey, maybe mushrooms?

Posted by: Deistbrawler at September 1, 2009 12:09 PM

Tool - Swamp Song

Posted by: Recondite at September 1, 2009 12:47 PM

I'd like to nominate Adrienne Barbeau for the early 80's double feature award, with Escape From New York and Swamp Thing both being in heavy rotation on HBO. It's a shame she and Jen Tilly weren't at their prime at the same time. I always thought the problem with the Swamp Thing was similar to Ang Lee's Hulk. Too much thinking, not enough destruction. Yes, yes woe is me, angst and regret wahhh wahhhh. You're big and green, go hit something.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at September 1, 2009 12:53 PM

TK: the post title = a Tool song? It's playing in my head. I'm stumped. ;-/

Posted by: Ms MoMo at September 1, 2009 1:07 PM

Aw cripes. Missed it, first time through the Comments.

Thanks Recondite for the song answer. :-))

Tool. Me likey.

Posted by: Ms MoMo at September 1, 2009 1:23 PM

I have to agree with TK on the original Swamp Thing. The Return of Swamp Thing with Heather Locklear is actually worse.

Correct me if I'm wrong, wasn't there a Swamp Thing TV series in the late 80's or early 90's?

Posted by: bignick at September 1, 2009 1:32 PM

Tee hee! Three hours later, I realize it was you, TK. S-M-R-T, I am so smart. Well, you're already permanently on my list, so... pshh. Whatev. Hater.

To be fair, I was 11 when this movie came out. So, you know. Also, boobs. (She did have an awesome rack, Deist.)

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 1, 2009 1:40 PM

I agree that for the most part Hollywood has raped Moore's books. But V For Vendetta is a fucking awesome movie.

Posted by: EricD at September 1, 2009 2:34 PM

This blog is thick and easy to get lost in cuz your a dumb and belligerent fuckup.
Er, wait isn't that bog?
Eh... still fits

Posted by: TheSharp at September 1, 2009 2:54 PM

because I can't recall if he'd actually have balls, or if they would be like two weird growths that kind of looked like, hey, maybe mushrooms?

If I remember correctly, Swampy was able to...ahem...gram a cucumber or some other tubular vegetable, which Barbeau then ate, which allowed her to see Alec again, and bone him.

Posted by: Vermillion at September 1, 2009 6:16 PM

This is PERFECT for the Wachowski brosthers, I think, they could at least make a decent film like V for Vendetta or go for the all crazyness and awesomicety of Speed Racer, but then people wouldn't understand and say "hey it's bad". Anyway, I think it would be really cool. Instead of getting some stupid dirtector making like a Van Helsing crossed with Hulk, which is certainly more likely.

Posted by: zito at September 1, 2009 6:20 PM





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