Sucker Punch Zack Snyder

Zack Snyder Follows Up Watchmen With a Sucker Punch

And I’ve Just Returned from the Variety School of Headline Writing / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | March 5, 2009 | Comments (30)

Because there’s no other way to pitch this, all the trades are jumping on this angle: After featuring an all-male cast in 300, Zack Snyder is due to follow up Watchmen with Sucker Punch, a movie with an all female cast. How so very fucking ERA of you, Zack. Of course, 300 had 2,000 bare-chested men in it, while Sucker Punch looks to only have about six women in it. A girl just can’t catch a break, can she?

Anyway, the movie — set in the 1950s — will be about a girl confined to a mental institution by her step-father, who aims to have her lobotomized. She has five days to escape, and in those five days, she needs to collect five items to aid that escape. She does so by conjuring an alternate reality, a dreamworld which will allow her to find those items before a vile man steals away with her virginity.

Interesting premise, and who doesn’t love a good deflowering movie? Amanda Seyfried (“Big Love,” “Veronica Mars”) is in negotiations to play the lead, Babydoll. The other women, so far, lined up to join the cast include homewrecker Abbie Cornish; lover of old, gross men, Evan Rachel Wood; the teenage comedy It Girl, Emma Stone; and, of course, Vanessa Hudgens, because no dark, fantasy movie would be complete without a ripe cherry from Disney’s High School Musical tree.

Snyder, who co-wrote the script with Steve Shibuya, describes the fantasy world as “Alice in Wonderland with machine guns.” The movie will also incorporate dragons, B-52 bombers and brothels. The other female character names, besides Babydoll, are Sweat Pea, Blondie, Rocket, and Amber, because the world needs more stripper names!

So, basically, Snyder is creating the ultimate fanboy masturbation fantasy. It needed to be done, I suppose; it’s been awhile since Sin City was released. Hot women, of course, are only that much more hotter when they’ve been Snyderized.

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Comments

First time to First Post...but nothing to say.

Posted by: OldSchool60 at March 5, 2009 10:12 AM

Hey! You can put that on your resume!

OldSchool60
Work Experience: Totally useless comments, 2007-Present

I'll even be your reference! Nice job, buddy.

Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at March 5, 2009 10:17 AM

Zillionth time to Whatever Post... nothing but scorn.

Scorn, and the deep seated belief that putting Amanda Seyfried and Vanessa Hudgens together in the same movie will rend a hole in the very fabric of the space/time continuum.

That, or make Vanessa Hudgens look like some sort of animatronic wooden dummy next to LaSeyfried.

Why don't we ever get "Fist!" posters? I bet a fist poster would be more interesting than a first poster...

Posted by: PaleoLithchick at March 5, 2009 10:18 AM

Machine guns, Dragons, B-52's, hookers, and women all set in a fantastical dreamscape? This description sounds a bit like Heavy Metal...

Posted by: alphawhiskey at March 5, 2009 10:21 AM

Sucker Punch needs a Donkey Punch.

Posted by: admin at March 5, 2009 10:28 AM

Wait, is her name really Sweat Pea? That sounds so gross.
I may have to see this just because, despite seeing her vagina on the internet, I have never seen Vanessa Hudgens actually do anything.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at March 5, 2009 10:33 AM

Wow, really? That is the angle the trades are going for? Then the trades suck.

I don't see why this is so revolting or whatnot. It isn't like Snyder said this was suppoed to be some grrl-power movie or anything, so why act like it is a bigger deal than it is? He is making another movie, whoopdie freaking doo. It sounds like a freaky "Alice in Wonderland" type of story, something more along Tim Burton's line.

And it sounds a bit more interesting to me than Bitch Slap, I will tell you that much.

Posted by: Vermillion at March 5, 2009 10:41 AM

Well, to be fair, there were those two chicks in 300; Queen Gorgo who was raped and that naked oracle chick I apparently look like who was molested by the creepy old dudes. I hope the men in Sucker Punch are given equally nuanced and complex character development and story arcs.

(And if anyone wants to try and start a flame war about how "Queen Gorgo wasn't raped, she submit" I will jump through the interwebs and cut you. Don't think I can't.)

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at March 5, 2009 11:28 AM

Whoa, Guns and Roses. You think our issue with that post is the ambiguity of the rape scene? Clearly the most important sentence is Naked Oracle Chick I apparently look like
Just a point of clarification.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at March 5, 2009 11:32 AM

Not to be crass, but you have lovely nipples, then, Genny (also Rusty).

Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at March 5, 2009 11:38 AM

Well, Jake'sAlterEgo, the comparison was actually made by someone who's never seen me naked, so I can't speak to whether it's THAT accurate. It's mostly that we're both pale skinny chicks with red hair and visible ribs, I think.

And thank you, Optimus, for reminding me of what's really important to the members of the Pajiba community; nudity.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at March 5, 2009 11:43 AM

As a gal who cavorts about the interwebs calling herself "AlabamaPink", I cannot pass judgment on the naming of these characters.

Pot calls Kettle black. Story at eleven.

Posted by: Alabamapink at March 5, 2009 11:44 AM

Finally, the proper priorities have been set into place.

Posted by: George at March 5, 2009 12:07 PM

I didn't think there was much ambiguity in McNulty's "seduction". I believe it was just slightly coercive. Is there really an internet argument about that?

Oh look at me, being naive 'n shit.

If B-52's have to fight said dragons I don't much give a shit who's in it and of what sex, cause that sounds like fun. I'm not averse to watching Emma Stone though.

Posted by: Jay at March 5, 2009 12:16 PM

As long as the B52's actually fight the dragons.

I don't want to get fucking jobbed again like I did with that shitpile Reign of Fire. Ooh, look, we'll show Apache helicopters and dragons on the poster, but instead we'll just beat the dragons using fucking skydiving.

Fuck you, Reign of Fire. Fuck you very much.

Yes, I'm still bitter.

Posted by: TK at March 5, 2009 12:50 PM

All female cast?

I'd be happy, except I'm completely sure that this just means lots of cleavage, lots of ass, lots of tight leather and plenty of lingering shots of each. The posters will all feature the women with half their asses to the camera, just like every fucking movie starring young actresses does.

I mean fuck it, I know it's aiming at lonely horny dweebs, but if Sin City and 300 are anything to go by, "all-female" just means "all for the boyz! YEAH!" as they pretend it's all empowering to women and shit, when all it's doing is fulfilling cheap fantasies where there are no REALLY strong women, just pieces of ass.

Also, what Genny said.

OK I guess I'm jumping the gun here, but all those fucking Frank Miller/Zach Snyder movies fill me with rage. Just had to get it out my chest.

No, Zach Snyder. Back away from my chest you fucking perv.

Posted by: figgy at March 5, 2009 1:00 PM

Oh, I give it 10 seconds before the first "HOW IS THAT BAD?" response from the horny pajiba section.

Countdown starts...NOW.

Posted by: figgy at March 5, 2009 1:02 PM

Weren't there women in 300? I thought I remember Mcnulty getting it on in the movie. Plus according to "South Park" Xerxes was a woman.

Of course, 300 had 2,000 bare-chested men in it

In the name of equality the numbers and closthing should be the same for this movie

Posted by: Brian at March 5, 2009 1:15 PM

there are no REALLY strong women, just pieces of ass.

I think Gail would have something to say about that. Miho would have something to say, but she'd prefer to just start taking limbs instead.

Posted by: twig at March 5, 2009 1:31 PM

Did they ALL have to be prostitutes with barely any clothes on? It's the ridiculous costumes and OMG TITS aspect that pissed me off.

Posted by: figgy at March 5, 2009 1:44 PM

Oof you know what shot fills me with rage ? Jessica Alba cavorting like a moron on stage, in assless chaps, in slow motion. FOR NO REASON AT ALL.

I hate that movie.

Posted by: figgy at March 5, 2009 1:46 PM

Jay, the scene read to me, as a woman, that even if Queen Gorgo had rejected McNulty's "advances" he would've done what he wanted anyway. His demeanor was obviously meant to be physically intimidating, never mind dangling her husband's life in front of her. I would not call what happened "consensual" by any stretch of the imagination, I think she choose to take the less painful way out. The absence of no is not the same as yes.

But yeah, I've had people tell me that she was just a two timing slut who's plan backfired. These are people I tend to limit my association with.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at March 5, 2009 1:52 PM

Jessica Alba cavorting like a moron on stage, in assless chaps, in slow motion. FOR NO REASON AT ALL.

Uhhhh. She's a stripper? Hell, she was supposed to be topless. I'm more annoyed by the fact that Alba can't act at all. Nancy deserved better.

... and Gorgo? Man, Gorgo sacrificed herself to try and save her husband after all other avenues were revealed to be full of crooks and liars, and when that little rapist bastard double-crossed her - bam, gutted. Gorgo was awesome.

Posted by: twig at March 5, 2009 2:06 PM

Well, yeah, but but that could've easily been shown without an endless slow motion scene, I think. Come on, that was nothing but a freebie for all the dweebs to fantasize on. Same as every single other woman in that movie.

Posted by: figgy at March 5, 2009 2:11 PM

i woulda taken one for the team to save sparta. please, ms gorgo, let me take your place.

Posted by: gp at March 5, 2009 2:52 PM

Point of clarification, because I'm so FUCKING tired of this mistake perpetrated by all:

All chaps are assless.
They are, in fact, assless pants.
If they are not assless they are pants.

Continue.

Posted by: grendel at March 5, 2009 4:19 PM

To put a finer point on it, they're crotchless too. You can definitely have assless pants that still have a crotch (see: Prince).

Posted by: Jay at March 5, 2009 4:28 PM

Sidenote: No Watchmen review? I saw it yesterday and loved it, but would agree that there were some flaws (much like The Dark Knight). Also like The Dark Knight, the movie as a whole was so good that it outweighed the flaws.

But I think it helps that I read the novel recently.

In conclusion, Watchmen review?

Posted by: ben (thpbt) at March 5, 2009 10:24 PM

It couldn't be all-female if B-52s were in this. There'd be at LEAST two guys. Sheesh, R*wl*s, do your fuck*n' homework.

Posted by: bucdaddy at March 5, 2009 10:40 PM

And You Can Bring Your Juke Box Money!

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at March 6, 2009 3:06 AM

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