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John Woo Breaks The Universe (And My Heart)


The Weekly Geek / Claude Weaver III

Trade News | March 13, 2009 | Comments (22)


Hello again, my siblings in the obscure and semi-cool!

It has been announced that there will be a movie based on Stranglehold, the 2007 video game that acted as a technical sequel to John Woo’s seminal 1992 action film, Hard Boiled. Woo’s Lion Rock Entertainment has drafted Jeremy Passmore and Andre Fabrizio to write, but no word yet if front man and Woo muse Chow Yun-Fat (currently in Dragonball: Evolution and working on a Confucius biopic) will be involved. Let me make this clear: There is going to be an adaptation of a video game that was the sequel to a cult classic just shy of 20 years old. On the day this releases, if you see an old guy riding a six-legged horse and screaming about a dragon, run like hell, for even the gods die that day.

This news item ties somewhat into stipe42’s excellent hero/villain piece. Alex Proyas, currently promoting his Nicolas Cage pain machine Knowing, discussed his idea for a possible sequel to his film Dark City. Says Proyas:

“I always thought it would be intriguing to have Rufus [Sewell], who was the hero in the first one, be the bad guy,” Proyas explained. “He should turn nasty because he’s got unlimited power. That’s something I’d like to explore.”


I loved Dark City, and was entertained by I, Robot (aka The Future’s So Bright, Where Are My Damn Shades?), so Proyas is still good with me. And it would be an interesting idea, seeing such power corrupt such a man. And Rufus Sewell needs more than just Eleventh Hour. Although I am still trying to understand, if what Proyas says about the popularity of the original is true, WHY HE IS DOING THIS MOVIE WITH NICOLAS CAGE.

The latest cast addition for Sylvester Stallone’s Epic Action Movie Cavalcade of Stars … I mean The Expendables, is former Whedonverse vixen and all-around MILF Charisma Carpenter. She will be playing the girlfriend of Jason Statham’s character, which, considering the crowd reading this, just earned her a considerable amount of envy. Carpenter is currently guest-starring on “CSI” and is filming a guest stint on (no real surprise) “Dollhouse.”

Some time ago, it was announced that there would be two television forays from the Star Wars media machine. The first, the CGI series “Clone Wars,” is busy ruining the only decent thing to come from the prequels (the animated shorts). The second is the long-rumored live-action series, set to take place during the Dark Times (the nomenclature for the years between the prequels and the original trilogy) and will focus less on the Jedi/Sith and more on the Rebel Alliance during its development. Well guess what fellow geeks? They are now casting! Now while it is doubtful that the show will be “‘Deadwood’ meets ‘The Sopranos’ in space” (that was an actual comparison) or be shown on HBO, that doesn’t mean it won’t at least be worth a shot. So Prisco (as Pajiba’s official actor), grow out the muttonchops and practice your Wookiee growling. And yes, I am going to shill you for any casting rumor I hear, dammit.

Oh and while we are on the subject of LucasFilm TV shows, Warwick Davis has hinted at a possible “Willow” TV show. Now to hurry along to the next item before you start having conniptions …

I happily admit that I would drink Milla Jovovich’s bathwater. And honestly, that is probably the most chaste and appropriate way I can describe the things I would do to/with/for/in/on/by/beneath her. That said, Milla Jovovich is starring in a new film that doesn’t involve zombies and psychic powers (seriously, leave it to Paul W.S. Anderson to make that combination seem less palatable than normal). She is playing the lead in Mile Zero, a thriller where a young woman takes a job on an Alaskan oil rig to prove her father did not commit a gruesome series of murders. Marcel Langenegger (the snoozer Deception) will direct. Jovovich is also in David Twohy’s (the Riddick franchise) once-delayed but now on track latest, The Perfect Getaway. Jovovich will play the new wife of Steve Zahn (lucky SOB), whose Hawaiian honeymoon turns for the worse due to the threat of killer pair Timothy Olyphant and Kiele Sanchez. Considering that first sentence, it is a pretty safe bet I will be checking these out at some point in time.

Speaking of Twohy’s most famous work Vin Diesel recently discussed plans for a third Riddick film while promoting the new Assault on Dark Athena video game. Says Diesel:


“Maybe we’ve been too tight-lipped about the movie, and you’ll probably hear a lot more about it as this game is released. I think we were so adamant about knocking this game out of the park that we’ve been doing a lot of late hours — the overtime’s on the game at the moment while David Twohy is finishing up the next script.”


I will admit, I am in that small, small, small contingent of people who thought Chronicles of Riddick was salvageable. I have this theory that if a sci-fi film with a low budget is successful, giving the sequel a higher budget is a stamp of failure. Somehow, the lower budget forces the creator to reign in their more outrageous and destructive tendencies. That is what went wrong with that film; too much money. Anyway, I still hold out hope that this third film, if it is ever put into play, will show the lessons learned from the second one. Stop that snickering.

Comic Recommendation: Human Target from DC/Vertigo. Christopher Chance has a unusual job: He uses his mastery of disguises and mimicry to copy his client’s identity and act as a human decoy for any threats on their lives. He is very good, and makes a lot of money doing it. Only the problem is his dead-accurate impersonations come from his own self-delusion, developing a schizophrenic bond with the personality he is copying. Chance is the ultimate Method actor, so devoted to his current role that he often cannot remember where he begins and the target ends. The comic, written by Peter Milligan and drawn by Javier Pullido and based on a character created by Len Wein and Carmine Infantino, was a crazy treatise on the nature of identity and sanity, as any male character in the book could conceivably be Chance. Even the narration by Chance is questionable, because you don’t know which Chance is narrating. There is a TV pilot in the works; with Mark Valley (“Fringe,” the sorely still-missed “Keen Eddie”) as Chance, Jackie Earle Haley (Rorshach in Watchmen) as his info broker and researcher, and Chi McBride (the even more missed “Pushing Daisies”) in an as-yet-unspecified role. Fun fact: there was a short-lived series based on the same character that ran in the summer of 1992. The star: Rick Springfield. I swear to Godtopus.

Today’s Trailer Watch is from The Limits of Control, the latest from Ghost Dog writer/director Jim Jarmusch:

Claude Weaver III, aka Vermillion, can finally edit his posts on Pajiba! So make your snarky corrections now, you jackanapes. He can be found making his blog, Vermillion’s Brain Receptacle, extremely jealous.


The Mother of All Bad Acting Performances | Pajibacon at SXSW



Comments

a dark city sequel?


ok, people, i am OFFICIALLY open to EVERY SINGLE ONE of hollywood's advances. i just can't go thru the rape anymore.

Posted by: gp at March 13, 2009 10:37 AM

I will admit, I am in that small, small, small contingent of people who thought Chronicles of Riddick was salvageable.

I am right there with you. Or possibly it means I hang out with too many Warhammer 40K geeks.

Any mention of if the Willow series would follow the sequel novelizations that came out a while ago? Because man, those were kind of a downer.

Posted by: twig at March 13, 2009 10:39 AM

I think that any project that Nic Cage is involved in should also have Dan Fogler attached. If they're going to commit fuckery, they may as well go full fuckery.

Posted by: admin at March 13, 2009 10:43 AM

Dammit twig, I'm just trying to soften the blow coming from my free trial with Warhammer Online ending, and my friends traveling to Chicago for a 40k tournament, and then you have to go and mention it again.

I'm trying to get help, god dammit! It's too expensive, I have a kid and another on the way in 24 days, I can't be tied down with one of the best games ever made.

I want to paint now.

But I also dug the hell out of the Riddick movies. Mostly Pitch Black, of course, but I thought Chronicles was at least enjoyable. I think I like the character concept and the thought of the universe more than the films themselves, though.

Posted by: Snath at March 13, 2009 10:51 AM

"I will admit, I am in that small, small, small contingent of people who thought Chronicles of Riddick was salvageable."

Really? What part? Was it the completely overwrought story that had absolutely nothing to do with Pitch Black? The incosistent use of goggles/night vision? The stupid, pointless, pseudo-supernatural plot? The over-acting? Ooh, I know, the goofy costumes? ]

Other than the mercs, that movies was 100+ minutes of awfulness.

Posted by: I Love Beets at March 13, 2009 11:00 AM

I Love Beets

I also liked the metal, color-changing kitty. Yes.

Also, 'teacup'.

Posted by: twig at March 13, 2009 11:01 AM

11 minutes of my life I'll never get back. 11 minutes spent with Chris Klein's forehead and greasily receding hair. This is why YouTube is the devil.

Posted by: Captain Steve at March 13, 2009 11:26 AM

gp: Calm down. Proyas was just doing a what-if sort of thing. There is no sequel as far as we know. Don't say "yes" yet.

twig: Davis only said a little, but I think they will probably ignore the novels and stick with the movie.

Snath: A child will disappoint you. A squad of Space Marines would die before they do that. Not saying you should sell the kid or anything, just putting it out there.

Beets: Ahem....I do acknowledge the film had its flaws, but they were more in execution than intent. First, what kind of story would follow Pitch Black any better? Either you follow Riddick's story, or you follow the light hating monsters. And most of them were fried in the last movie.

The goggles/night vision switching wasn't that inconsistent. The man could see fine, except in really bright light, and the goggles were optional. And considering that most of the sets in that movie were overcast and gloomy, there was relatively little impetus to keep them on except for the cool factor.

The plot was a bit incredulous, but could have been salvaged. It isn't like the idea of an all-powerful army stomping across the universe conquering all in its wake never worked before. And having them with this creepy death-oriented religion could have been neat. Riddick as the lone survivor and last-ditch weapon of an extinct race? I could buy that. As far as the supernatural stuff, I blame the special effects. It is pretty hard to accept a half-dead dude if his "soul" looks like translucent Nickelodeon slime.

The acting and the costumes? Well, you got me there. But only for the Necros.

Escape from Butcher Bay was a kickass prequel to that film, so it isn't like it would be impossible to do a decent sequel.

And yes, the kitty was cute. Then again I have always been partial to pus...huh? Oh the phone is ringing.

Posted by: Vermillion at March 13, 2009 11:28 AM

Space Marines?! Youze off ya rocka, ta think I'd play as da Humies!


WAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!

Posted by: Snath at March 13, 2009 11:39 AM

Speaking of cinematic rape, I saw that there was a trailer for G Force, and got mildly excited. Tiny, Hawk, the Phoenix, that little guy who speaks in bleeps and bloops the transvestite bad guy-this was pretty cool when I was a kid. And the G Force graphic looked a little similar to the cartoon logo. Even though it was Disney, it could still be good right?


Fucking talking action gerbils. (Guinea Pigs?) With celebrity voices. I fell for it. They showed me the candy and I got right into the panel van. damnit.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at March 13, 2009 11:45 AM

whose Hawaiian honeymoon turns for the worse due to the threat of killer pair Timothy Olyphant and Kiele Sanchez.

Ehhhh. I like Steve alright but they're no Michelle Forbes and David Duchovny!

The incosistent use of goggles/night vision?

"What the hell do you need night vision goggles for? You're a hillbilly!"

"....I don't know why I have these goggles"

Posted by: Jay at March 13, 2009 11:58 AM

*cough* Rein in, not reign in.

See, this is why I've lurked for so long and not commented - I CANNOT STOP THE SUBBING HEAD.

Charisma Carpenter has cold, dead eyes, like a doll's eyes.

Posted by: lethalbuzzle at March 13, 2009 12:21 PM

Butcher Bay was the cat's pajamas IMHO, V.
Also, have you read "The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao" yet? I feel like there is unfortunately a lot of you in that book. But you'll love the references that Dias sprinkles liberally throughout.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at March 13, 2009 1:00 PM

Well, that and she's not particularly attractive either.

Posted by: Jay at March 13, 2009 1:01 PM

The old me would be upset at this apparent disdain of Ms. Carpenter, but I have learned to accept that some people have no idea what the hell they are talking about.

No offense.

Posted by: Vermillion at March 13, 2009 1:20 PM

None taken. I know what I know.

Posted by: Jay at March 13, 2009 1:26 PM

While I would never say Chronicles of Riddick

was a good movie, I think it is very watchable and entertaining. There are more of us with you than you know, Vermillion...

Posted by: Deacon Blue at March 13, 2009 1:53 PM

I hat e CBS because they will no longer let me watch Eleventh Hour online. Do you know how excited I was to see Rufus Sewell playing a biophysicist? I mean, sure, the plots of the few episodes I did catch weren't stellar, and the science had me yelling at my computer screen a few times, but It's Sewell, playing a member of my profession. I was gonna keep watching in solidarity, but apparently CBS doesn't understand that real biophysicists don't have cable.

Posted by: s. pisaster at March 13, 2009 2:18 PM

The news about a Hard Boiled sequel was fucking awesome.

Then I read it was based on the video game. Ok, ok. Maybe it won't suck, after all it's still John Woo and Chow Yun-Fat.

Then I find out John Woo isn't directing. And the screen play is written by Americans.

And Chow Yun-Fat hasn't been cast.

It's like being given a chocolate cake and finding out it's just shit pie.

Posted by: chenry at March 13, 2009 4:09 PM

Damn, some of the irregulars are really making me laugh today.

Posted by: Snath at March 13, 2009 4:39 PM

I'm not sure how to feel about a Dark City sequel. I loved the movie, and if they get the old gang back there are plenty of things to do in a sequel. And if they can convince my lovely Jennifer Connelly to eat a cheeseburger or two to more closely resemble her younger self I'm all for it.

I'm not certain that Proyas still has the chops, though. I know I, Robot was screwed with by Fox, but his new movie seems to be another in the long line of Nicholas Cage "I must save the world but nobody believes me and I have ludicrous hair" movies.

Posted by: James at March 14, 2009 1:28 AM

The problem with Chronicles of Riddick is that they stopped the script-writing process after conceiving the general outline. They thought "That's all we need!"
Furions?! OOh they must be angry. Necromongers?! OOh they must harvest death or some shit. At least fucking try to come up with some kind of racial names.

Posted by: grendel at March 15, 2009 12:58 PM