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God Bless the Nigerians / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | May 4, 2009 | Comments (19)

You know those spammer scams Nigerians have been sending out for a decade now? It used to be mostly people claiming to be Nigerian royalty asking for money in exchange for more money, but according to my spam folder, they’ve changed it up a little. Now I am being told that a Nigerian person has, in his possession, an $850,000 cashier’s check made out to me, wrongly delivered, and in his possession. Apparently, I won the lottery, and those boneheads at FEDEX sent my winnings to Nigeria by mistake. In order to recover the the $850,000 check, all I need to do is send a $100 processing fee. There’s a bargain.

Anyway, the Nigerian scams are the focus of a movie that’s soon to go in production. Apparently, those scams are an entire industry in Nigerian. Swindle one person, and an entire city eats for a year (I saw in on “20/20.” John Stossel is a stud). The movie is a drama, in fact. One directed by none other than Ben Stiller. It’s about a Chicago banker who is swindled by a Nigerian Internet scam, and while there is a dose of comedy in the flick, it’s really meant to shed light on the ills of Nigeria and effect social change in the area. A message film directed by Ben Stiller. Deep.

The timing of filming will depend on Stiller, who is also still attached to The Trail of the Chicago 7, which he took over after Steven Spielberg dropped out (hmph: That sounds about right. Can’t get Spielberg? How about Gaylord Focker?) Stiller also has a third Focker movie in the works. Raven Symone has apparently been cast as a babysitter in Little Fockers, which is about the Fockers and their twin children. (Ironically, Symone is also attached to the lead in the remake of Adventures in Babysitting).

And how’s that soul feeling? Crushed? Good, my work is done here.


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Comments

the remake of Adventures in Babysitting).

It never gets easier no matter how many times I hear it.

Posted by: twig at May 4, 2009 10:52 AM

Raven Symone is going to do Elizabeth Shue's role in Adventures in Babysitting? Ugh. I'm guessing they won't do the whole "scared white kids in a black bar" scene. Unless they decide to give Symone a song on the soundtrack and turn the whole thing into a big production number. I'm not sure which idea is worse.

Posted by: Melissa at May 4, 2009 11:01 AM

Hey, I'll have you know that while my 401-K drowned in the toilet over the past year, my Nigerian tin mines are doing just fine, and on top of yielding a profit, I am assured that my buy-in fee to become a member of the board of Shell Oil Nigeria, Inc. will assure me a most blessed seat close to THE LORD, come Judgement Day.

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 4, 2009 11:05 AM

I don't know what is worse...the idea of a 3rd Focker movie, or the remake of Adventures in Babysitting. Actually, as I typed that, I figured out that the latter is worse. Both suck tremendously, however.
Fockers should have stopped with the first one...before it stopped being mildly funny. Honestly I just get pissed at the wife (don't care enough to look up her name) in both those movies.
As for Babysitting...that makes me want to hurt myself. After this news (and especially the fact that it involves Raven Simone), I really do have the babysitting blues.
I accidently typed "fart" first instead of "fact" in the above sentence. I should have left it that way b/c that would have worked as well.
I'm giggling like hell right now b/c I'm juvenile.

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at May 4, 2009 11:18 AM

If anyone wants to find out how much life sucks in Nigeria, pick up Graceland by Chris Abani, which is a lot like Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man but less obtuse and set in Nigeria in the 80's and 90's. I promise it'll be more genuine and affecting than some movie by Ben freaking Stiller.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at May 4, 2009 11:41 AM

Raven Symone is going to do Elizabeth Shue's role in Adventures in Babysitting? Ugh. I'm guessing they won't do the whole "scared white kids in a black bar" scene.

Why not? I'm not sure Symone is more ghetto than Shue.

Posted by: ed newman at May 4, 2009 11:43 AM

The only casting of Raven Simone should be as a Jenny Craig 12-month challenge.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 4, 2009 11:57 AM

Emphasis on, Challenge.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 4, 2009 11:57 AM

Do we really need Nigeria? Can't we just nuke it and move on?

Posted by: Lucas at May 4, 2009 12:15 PM

Will Robert Downey Jr. play a Nigerian?

Posted by: henchman for hire at May 4, 2009 1:01 PM

No. No remake. No no no no no no no no no. Just....... no.

Posted by: Ariel at May 4, 2009 3:34 PM

is this fake remake news that was promised ?

Posted by: GILP at May 4, 2009 5:10 PM

A dose of COMEDY? In a Ben Stiller movie?

I guess there is a first time for everything.

Posted by: David McTaintwaffle at May 4, 2009 5:45 PM

A third Fockers movie and a remake of Adventures in Babysitting. That sound you hear over there is me vomiting.

Posted by: Austin asking for trouble at May 4, 2009 9:53 PM

Actually, I've seen the new twist on the scam and it's Ruth Madoff asking your help in hiding some ill-gotten assets.

Clever bastards, you gotta hand it to them, keeping up with current events like that.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at May 4, 2009 11:48 PM

I call B*llsh*t. The world isn't this...far gone (yet).

I hope.

Posted by: replica at May 5, 2009 1:52 AM

What's up with all the Racial talk with Raven? I bet if Raven was White you all wouldn't be getting on her so Hard. Everytime when A Black Person tries to do something you all blast it, and say that it sucks "College Road Trip" was actually A Great Film, and was Rated better than even the Pro-Whit Film "Hannah Montana", but y'all Praised the Latter anyway because she Miley Cyrus is White.


FYIs to Barbado Slim, and Ed Newman you have less Intellect than your Neighbor Robyn Rihanna Fenty so don't let me call Chris Brown to beat you up, also Raven-Symone is not from the Ghetto Raven-Symone is from the Surburban City of Oleasu Noir Duluth Gwinnett County, GA where most Folks are Rich, and Wealthy that is A Very Posh Area--Raven has never been in no Ghetto--I doubt she knows what A Ghetto is... and WTF is "scared white kids in a black bar scene"? Your Ignorance will be you downfall....You guys cannot bash A Movie that you haven't yet seen...y'all did that with "College Road Trip" without giving Raven A Chance....is that what y'all do with every movie Raven is in?

Stupid Ignorant Racists it's People like you why we had such A Fucked up 8 Years of Bush--y'all divide the World apart, and mess it up, but when it needs Fixing you all call A Black Man to Clean it up--well Raven is gonna clean house like she did with "College Road Trip" in 2008 it was Number One in Rentals, and Purchases for 8 Str8 Months, and it Debuted at Number 2 at the Box Office. Y'all Haters crawl back under A Rock, and Hang yourselves for all I care--I will support "Meet The Fockers" "Furthere Adventures In Babysitting", and if it comes out then I will also support "That's So Raven: The Movie".

Posted by: Tru-Dru at May 5, 2009 10:47 AM

Wait, Raven Simone isn't White?

Posted by: ed newman at May 5, 2009 1:25 PM

Tru-Dru - are you kidding? The hatred towards a remake of Adventures in Babysitting isn't about Raven Simone--it's about the originally movie being terrible. And as to the "scared white kids in a black bar scene", this was an actual scene in the original movie. Why I remember this, who knows, but Elisabeth Shue and the kids are running from someone/something (Vincent D'Onofrio??) and run into a blues club full and are terrified because it is filled with black people. I'd expect the scene to be changed in a remake regardless of the race of the person stepping into the Elisabeth Shue character.

Posted by: maceo at May 5, 2009 4:43 PM