November 25, 2008 | Comments ()

By Seth Freilich | Industry | November 25, 2008 |

The man who ruined (*wrecked*) Kelly LeBrock now wants to ruin your TVs. Yup, Steven Seagal himself is jumping into the Reality, as has announced “Steven Seagal: Lawman.” Says Seagal:

I’ve been working as an officer in Jefferson Parish for two decades under most people’s radar. I’ve decided to work with A&E on this series now because I believe it’s important to show the nation all the positive work being accomplished here in Louisiana — to see the passion and commitment that comes from the Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office in this post-Katrina environment.

Five minutes after reading this, I literally took a shit that looked like something out of the era of the Black Plague. I don’t think it was a coincidence.

I’ll leave with this. The trusty internets say that Seagal once said: “I am hoping that I can be known as a great writer and actor some day, rather than a sex symbol.” Well, good sir, at least you’re halfway there.

"I'm Gonna Take You to the Bank ... the Blood Bank!"

F**k You and Die, Indeed / Seth Freilich

Industry | November 25, 2008 | Comments ()

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