Pajiba

Tim Curry makes everything better.

Now, if I could only find that "Three Men In A Boat" movie they showed on PBS back in the 1970's, my Curry collection would be complete.

I don’t know that I buy that… it’s less about the time and more about how you use it.

Are you arguing this in general, or just with this story?

I wonder if they'll end this one like they did in the book with some good old fashioned child sex? That's something they kept out of the original.

I think I agree with what most people are saying on the Internet about this...hire Frank Darabont, and just watch your troubles melt away.

Well, shit. The last thing this world needs is more film stock of evil clowns. I always hated walking by the It movie covers in Blockbuster, and now there are going to be two versions to avoid. Thank god I'm too poor to rent movies anymore. And that Blockbuster is too poor to exist for much longer.

When they start advertising for this monstrosity in the subways is when I move the fuck to California.

Send in the clowwwnnns...

Hehehehehehe!

This may be a pointless argument, but why not just avoid Derry? Lots of people choose to be Derry-free every day.

While agree that most adaptations of King's stories are pretty darn bad, I think I may have liked Stand By Me even bettter than the story (The Body) in some ways.

I think it would make much more sense to break the film up into two separate films: the kids vs. scary clown and the grownups vs. whatever the heck that thing really was. If part 1 manages not to suck (I'm not particularly optimistic) then they can tackle part 2. I still don't know how to resolve the kiddie sex scene, though.

Or Jonathan. Fucking typos ruining perfectly good jokes about dead actors that I liked in TV shows about talking dolphins.

I didn't actually see Mr. Magorium, and I suppose now I never will.

The Pink Hulk. I'm not sorry. You SHOULD pee your pants.

Not NEARLY enough people are pathologically afraid of clowns and its good that you are.

Clowns who turn into weird spider monsters are just....god damn it, it just ain't right I tell ya!!!!

I love me some Tim Curry, I do. But good lord It haunts my nightmares.

My bf finds it hilarious that I'm so scared of them. HILARIOUS.
He wont find it hilarious when one of them eats me.
He recently read an article about some...where, in Europe, about a group of men dressed as clowns dragging kids into vans, no joke.

I read a story once about a boy obsessed with clowns, who sneaks into their tent when a circus visits his town. The clowns state that clowns is born, not made, and start licking his face with rough, cat like tongues. They lick the flesh off of his face to reveal the natural clown face beneath and he joins their troupe for ever, while to the rest of the world he's another kid who got nabbed by kiddie fiddlers at the circus.
Clowns are proof the devil is real,and he hates us, very much.

Here is a guideline for King's books and even more so his movies: the more overtly supernatural he is the worse the story (and especially the movie) becomes. That is why his best adaptations usually are without gooey monsters or ghosts: Stand By Me, Misery, Carrie, The Shawshank Redemption, The Dead Zone, etc.

It the mini-series was a combination of both. That's why the first night with just Pennywise worked so much better than the second night with the rubber spider. I don't know how you reconcile this problem in a single movie.

Dear Sweet Jesus at the County Fair, Nadine! Now I'm never gonna sleep again. LICK HIS FLESH OFF? I've seen pregnancy porn that sounds less horrifying.

I never liked the whole huge spider ending of "It." Dumb. Not scary. Not interesting. Clowns are insanely frightening. Spiders? Eh, not so much.

Oooh, you know what though, if they remake Killer Klowns from Outer Space I will be PISSED!

'What you gonna do, knock my block off?'

Killer Klow-oh-ow-oh-owns from outer space.

Why oh why can I not forget I ever saw that film??

Nope. Won't be seeing a remake of a mini-series that I couldn't get behind to begin with.
He totally fucked this one right in the ear; jumped the proverbial shark, he did.
I have since sworn-off Stephen King, whose works I loved, up until I got to the ending of IT.

A giant spider from outer-space? Are you motherfucking kidding me?? That brilliant story led-up to a giant spider. From outer-space.

I threw the book -- one with which I spent two slow weeks; taking my time to savor the long, drawn-out plot -- so hard it knocked a hole the size of a giant spider from outer-space in my bedroom wall. And unless a subsequent owner of the house has freed it in the course of renovations, it remains there between the walls to this day, moldering in the crypt in which I sealed it when I made the repair. I haven't touched a King book since.

Snath, thank you!!! We need to unite!!!

Pink Hulk, google image two things

Goliath Bird Eating Spider, and Brazilian Wandering spider.

Imagine them cross bred with It.

Also, yeah I'm sorry I shared that story. It is truly one of the worst, ever, and also just incidentally PROBABLY TOTALLY TRUE. I dont want to be fear mongering but if clowns is born not made, then literally ANYONE could be a clown, just waiting for that one accident, one little cut to their face that lets the flesh fall away, lets them see the white cheek and bright red smile beneath before they know what they really are.

Admin.
Again, flawless and mathematical logic.

I'm glad i've got people on side though. The more of us know that Clowns are out to destroy us as horrifically and terrifyingly as possible, that their every waking moment is dedicated to catching us alone and tempting us with balloons and candy floss and whispered lies about happier places even as white gloved hands pull bread knifes from inside of over sized rainbow trousers, the safer we will be.
Protect the children!!!!

Why oh why can I not forget I ever saw that film??
Posted by: Carrie at March 16, 2009 12:05 PM

Uh, because it's AWESOME!?

Because hideous terrifying clowns finally get the comeuppance they so richly deserve for years upon years of pants-shitting terror inflicted on me the children?!

Seriously, though, it's awesome. Plus, John Vernon as the Sheriff!

No, it is awesome. And I really need to watch it again. I haven't seen it since I was 12. I remember the candy floss cocoons and a scene where a woman was in the shower for about a decade while a baby Klown hid out in her laundry basket.

Pink Hulk, I'm going to disagree with you. Clowns are creepy, spiders are terrifying. A clown that turns into a giant space spider is the stuff my nightmares are made of. The only way it could get worse is if the spider morphs into Joan Rivers.

I'm sorry Snath, but that story was just too damn funny, especially when you picture one of those clowns in Hello Kitty ears making cat noises. HA!

Nadine, that was scarier than hell and I don't like you any more.

Side note, kind of. You know how in lace curtains a pattern can repeat? Well the curtains in my childhood room featured a sideways evil clown face all OVER those curtains. My mother wouldn't listen to me and finally, one day, I ripped them down in a fit of terror. Fuck clowns.

Emmett Kelly is frowning at all you wussies right now.

I somehow think Aragog is more likely to kill you than Bozo.

Emmett Kelly? My sister in law used to collect Emmett Kelly figurines and pictures. Only one of the many, many, MANY reasons I have always hated the crazy bitch.

Dude was NOT right.

Optimus-

The Giant Turtle, I believe, was the antithesis of Pennywise. A cosmic force for good, if you will. In the Dark Tower, the Turtle--which apparently could have held shit together or something, I dunno--was dead.

Dark Tower is amazing if you only read four books and only give a shit about the first three. Once that cocksucker started inserting himself into his own novels AND THEN SACRIFICING CHARACTERS TO SAVE HIS OWN LIFE one gets a little pissed off.

"It" scarred me for most of my childhood. I remember vividly my dad putting it in the VCR and me being in tears as soon as the first kid gets sucked into the sewer. This is one remake I am actually looking forward to.

"WE ALL FLOAT DOWN HERE"

I am completely freakin PSYCHED about this. That book deserves a really great adaptation, as it's one of King's best and scariest.

The 90s version was pretty cheap, and would be forgettable if it weren't for that FUCKING TERRIFYING CLOWN that gave me nightmares for years, so much that I can barely look at it right now.

FUCK, I hate clowns. But I love "It". I'm such a masochist.

Dark Tower is amazing if you only read four books and only give a shit about the first three. Once that cocksucker started inserting himself into his own novels AND THEN SACRIFICING CHARACTERS TO SAVE HIS OWN LIFE one gets a little pissed off.

I will never forgive Stephen King for that. Ever. I still read his new books from time to time but a big part of me died when he wrote himself into his own book and consequently fucked up the Dark Tower books so very, very badly.

I still carry a heavy amount of anger about Eddie and Jake. And don't even get me started on Oy.

Fucking Stephen King.

I know it would never happen, but my dream would be for Pennywise to be portrayed by...

DANIEL DAY LEWIS.

Come on, tell me it wouldn't be an absolutely insanely terrifying turn from the world's greatest actor. On top of the actual shit-stain-inducing performance, imagine the reaction of the child actors who aren't prepared for Daniel "Never breaks character" Lewis. Some poor kid cast to play Richie as a child would be walking to wardrobe when Day Lewis, still in clown paint, would emerge from the shadows with huge ass fake fangs dripping stage blood, and start hollering about floating down there with him! Yikes!

"... one of King’s best stories"? Are you on crack or something? This tale is one of King's more embarrasing messes.

I mean...for gods's sake: a gang-bang?!

William I have to disagree

Imagin if Bale played Pennywise.

Also, to everyone I have terrified. Consider it a warning!!

FEAR IS GOOD!!

FEAR WILL KEEP YOU ALIVE

As to the allegations that Shawshank and Stand By Me were good adaptations... fine. I will grudgingly concede that maybe those two weren't unmitigated ass matter EVEN THOUGH Tim Robbins generally irritates the living hell out of me. I'm man enough to admit that my aversion to King adaptations might be so powerful as to prevent me from making an unbiased decision. But seriously.

HATEhatehatehateHAAAATE!!!

But it can't be epic ridiculous in a good way. Like...I dunno...Hot Shots or something like that. What it would be is a really, really, really good movie turn into utter fucking shit.

Gunslinger? Awesome. Drawing of the Three? Badass. Wastelands? Scary-ass shit right there. Wizard and the Glass? OK, bit of wankery, but good. Wolves of Calla? Harry Potter snitches used as a weapon. Song of Susannah? Fuck me in the ass. Dark Tower? Fuck you, bring back Oy.

He killed of Randall Flagg, one of the most terrifying characters ever, by having a lame ass spider eat him. Also, he was wearing a tin foil hat.

Thanks for fucking up the Stand while you were at it, jerkface.

Someone up there mentioned the dream/drunk sequence from Dumbo. Fucking right. The giant elephant made of elephant heads stalking forward with a menacing little grin? Still scares the piss outta me.
AND I still cry when his mom rocks him in her trunk through the bars of her cage.

Nadine, was that clown story from Terry Pratchett's Making Money? Cause it kind of rings familiar in my brain. Justawondering...

I watched It at a sleepover party when I was 10 years old. I did not sleep that night.

Attack of the Killer Clowns was amazing.

All clowns should burn in hell.

I know a guy named Blaine but I always resist the urge to refer to him as a choo-choo train. Mostly because he is big and scary.

Ok, have NOT read the Dark Tower shit, but.....WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS TO RANDALL FLAGG???? Are you people fucking with me?? RANDALL MOTHERFUCKING SATAN, CRUCIFY THEM AND PSYCHICALLY FUCK AND IMPREGNATE NADINE FLAGG???

Dude, seriously, I knew King was losing his shit when I read Cell, but COME THE FUCK ON!!!

I can NEVER hear "Don't Fear the Reaper" or see a giant black bird on the side of the road without thinking of my Satanic love interest (sorry, Jamie Sheridan looks pretty good!!) And, my kids HATE it when I sing, "Baby, can you dig your man."

Seriously? He kills off Flagg in the Dark Tower books? Stephen, we had something once, but you are dead to me now. You hear me,

DEAD
TO
ME

From my memories of reading (and sometimes rereading) King books, he starts them well, gets really good in the middle, and the endings kinda suck. I think he gets sick of writing them and just wants them to end.

I haven't read everything of his, but I still think "The Shining" and "The Dead Zone" are the best. And various short stories. His short stories are well-done; in a way, they're better than the long-ass books.

dammitjanet, yeah....maybe stay the hell away from Dark Tower...or at least the last 3 books.

Baby can you dig your man...(He's a righteous man!) Baby can you dig your...ma-a-an!

After finishing DT I do wonder how things would've been different if not for King's accident. The books read as self-therapy to me. Overall, the series is erratic as hell. Wastelands is the best of 'em...Like most of you I hated when King put himself in the story, and I despised how he lamely killed off Randall Flagg. There's also a time travel plot used toward the end of the series that does not come off very well.

However, even with these flaws DT is worth finishing. The final third of Book 7 contains some the most powerful writing not only of the series, but of the entire King canon.

As for IT... a reboot's fine by me. Needless to say, the mini-series is beyond dated, save Curry's performance. All the stuff about deadlights and giant spiders that read so well looked very silly on screen--a fact to which King himself has admitted. You're not gonna see 2 sep movies...but I'd feel good about Darabont (sp) condensing the source material into something palatable if he were indeed involved.

Continuing my Dark Tower rant:

Or!!! What about when they put Black 13 in a locker in the basement of the World Trade Center, then make a horrible allusion to the attacks, AND THEN NEVER DISCUSS IT AGAIN.

"Oh, everything will be fine. It's not like these buildings will ever fall."

Gah.

Well...if you were to read Wolves, you'd read about mechanical wolves dressed as Dr. Doom from Fantastic Four throwing explosive snitches from Harry Potter at people. I'm not saying that as a comparison, they are referenced as looking like Dr. Doom and Harry Potter gets namechecked.

Youch. Yes, W&G is now officially the end of the Dark Tower series for me. And I guess I'll go donate Song of Susannah to the library or something.

Yes, I was sensing that this was a new turn in the road for him post-accident. Good for him -- I can only imagine what kind of hell all of that accident entailed. And I like that idea of yours -- that maybe he IS Ed Freemantle.

This is one of my biggest problems with the latter Dark Tower books.

http://xkcd.com/483/

When I first saw IT - it scared me so much that I was afraid to go to the bathroom or walk in the dark. No other horror movie has this effect on me - so I guess it was quite well made for its time. Recently I don`t seem to find it that scary anymore - but then by now I have read the book more than a few times and as find it much better than the film itself. Still a remake would be interesting thing to see - especially if they cast the right actors .