Stephen Dorff Blade XIII.jpg
The Blade Franchise Fractures

Plus More Details on The Crow Remake / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | July 7, 2009 | Comments (26)

Well, this is just shitballs. Despite the fact that each Blade film grossed less than the previous one (Trinity only scored $52 million), Hollywood is so fucking hard up for material that it’s dipping back into the Blade franchise not for another sequel, but worse: A spin-off prequel featuring Stephen Dorff’s character, Deacon Frost.

And, according to Dorff, director Stephen Norrington, who directed the original blade and is lined up to direct a remake of The Crow (stupid, stupid, stupid) is planning a prequel trilogy revolving around Frost’s character, who as you may recall was a young upstart (not born a vampire) who clashed with elders over whether vampires should rise up and enslave humanity. I guess we’d find out how he became a vampire.

And according to Dorff, “I would rather be in a good, small film than a hit which wasn’t any good.” Actually, at this point in his career, I think Dorff would just rather be in any film, since he’s not exactly cleaning up at the box office since, I dunno. Forever.

There were also a few more details on that Crow remake, in which Norrington revealed that the remake will actually focus on an entirely different character than the original. According to Norrington, “Whereas [Alex] Proyas’ original was gloriously gothic and stylized, the new movie will be realistic, hard-edged and mysterious, almost documentary-style.”

I think “realistic, hard-edged and mysterious” is code for a fat bowl of straight-to-DVD donkey dicks.


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Comments

Somehow I'm thinking a night spent watching my cats barf would provide better entertainment opportunities.

Bork bork bork splat!

Posted by: ahamos at July 7, 2009 10:57 AM

revealed that the remake will actually focus on an entirely different character than the original.

Which means it won't focus on the source material which means it will... blow?

and remember how I said that any idea could make a good movie if done correctly? Even I don't know how they can drag three movies worth of material out of Deacon Frost long before he enacted his master plan.

I mean jesus, prequel? A few decades after the original? Who gives a shit?

Posted by: twig at July 7, 2009 11:01 AM

I don't give a shit about this...Stephen Dorff is retarded if he thinks anyone is going to give two shits about his stupid vampire...but the ads on the sidebar here are telling me that there is going to be a "10 Thing I Hate About You" TV series?

Whatthefuckingwhonow?

No. NO. That is one of the only "teen" movies I liked when I was that age! Fuck you ABC Family!

Posted by: Snath at July 7, 2009 11:07 AM

Fucking, clown shoes.

Posted by: admin at July 7, 2009 11:08 AM

I just watched the Blade trilogy for the first time recently and I hated all of them. Except for the vampire pomeranian. He was funny.

Posted by: Julie at July 7, 2009 11:09 AM

Maybe it will just be two hours of the main character trying to ice skate uphill.

Posted by: Fantasysage at July 7, 2009 11:35 AM

Stephen Dorff can go fuck himself. Stephen Norrington can fuck himself twice. The cast of 10 Things I Hate About You on ABC Family can collectively fuck themselves. Thank you, Pajiba, for taking a big shit in my Raisin Bran...

Posted by: David at July 7, 2009 11:55 AM

Vampires are the new black...this was almost inevitable. *sigh*

But even in my wildest nightmares I didn't see them trying to wrap a story around a forgettable villain from the first story.

And I don't know how Rowles got through the entire writeup without railing on the injustice of RyRy's abs not getting the prequel trilogy treatment. I'm disappointed.

Posted by: ed newman at July 7, 2009 12:02 PM

"...watching my cats barf would provide better entertainment opportunities."

I'd seriously consider recording that now, ahamos, 'cause in a few years, after all the remakes/reimaginings have run dry, that's where the movie money's gonna be - animals vomiting.

Posted by: Skitz at July 7, 2009 12:03 PM

If pets puking will be where the money's at in a few years, then I've got a dog who'll be worth millions.

Posted by: Kolby at July 7, 2009 12:07 PM

Well, the only other alternative would be "Blade: vengence of the IRS" which really I'd rather watch.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at July 7, 2009 12:37 PM

Bork bork bork splat!

Wait... are your cats Swedish, ahamos?

Ohhh. I was also going to say, "Also, didn't they blow him up pretty completely?", but then I saw the missing link: prequel.

I'm gonna be honest, I had a little crush on Stephen Dorff in that. I might be convinced to watch this, when it comes on free on demand.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at July 7, 2009 12:46 PM

And, I really need to learn to read, not skim.

remake of The Crow

I'll just be over here with ahamos's cats. bork, bork, bork!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at July 7, 2009 12:50 PM

If I were Shia DaDouche I would take a reeeeal good look at what happened to Stephen Dorff, he was an "it" boy too, once.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 7, 2009 12:57 PM

Sigh, yes he was. Power of One, folks. Watch it and weep.

Posted by: Stella at July 7, 2009 1:04 PM

I will NOT stand by while you people malign the star of The Gate. That movie is nothing short of beautiful genius.

Posted by: TK at July 7, 2009 1:55 PM

Why did I think Dorff was dead?

Maybe I was just thinking of his career.

Posted by: figgy at July 7, 2009 2:25 PM

Holy crap, TK. I forgot that movie existed.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at July 7, 2009 2:51 PM

My soul weeps for you Brandon Lee.

*sniff*

Posted by: Xtreme at July 7, 2009 2:54 PM

Why would you even remake The Crow? That film was and still is brilliant. Not to mention the fact that Brandon Lee died during the fucking film. If it is a remake that follows a different character shouldn't it just be one of those crap straight to DVD sequels? Documentary style? Look dick shits, it was cool with The Blair Witch Project (which I thought was a piece of crap) or maybe even Cloverfield, but really, its a shit technique.

As for Deacon...I don't even know what to say to that. As for the Blade movies. I like them, and own them, even if the stories went straight to shit. I was a fan of the comics and it was interesting to see him portrayed on screen. Shit, it was better then the TV series, who saw that cunt stain of a show?

Posted by: DeistBrawler at July 7, 2009 3:01 PM

"Holy crap, TK. I forgot that movie existed."

I hate you a little bit for that.

Posted by: TK at July 7, 2009 3:12 PM

I hate you a little bit for that.

More or less than you hate the fact that The Gate 3-D remake is in the works to be directed by Alex Winter aka Bill S. Preston, Esq.?

Posted by: branded at July 7, 2009 3:29 PM

The Gate...a cult classic in my book. A oft-forgotten little piece of 80's horror that so few know and remember. Damn I hate getting old.

Posted by: bignick at July 7, 2009 3:37 PM

thanxxx friend

Posted by: movie trailers at July 7, 2009 3:42 PM

I'd rather watch the Snipes take another shot at Blade than torturing myself with three (!) prequels about a vampire douchebag.

I've nothing to say about The Crow. I hope Norrington dies in a fire. Slowly.

Re creepy ads: that Pamela Anderson thing has been creeping my out for weeks now.

Posted by: FabMax at July 7, 2009 7:03 PM

Good God, what's next Hollywood?? "The Goonies" origin story starring the character of Sloth with cameos by Sean Astin and Josh Brolin? Hell, in an effort to give it some faux prestige, Sean can call up Pete Jackson and use Andy Serkis via stop motion capture to create an updated, and mind blowing version of Sloth.

Posted by: PeevedMovieBuff at July 7, 2009 9:43 PM





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