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Start Your Day with Taylor Lautner and Adam Sandler Because You Know After This, It Can't Get Any Worse

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | April 3, 2013 | Comments ()


Screen Shot 2013-04-03 at 9.07.31 AM.png


Here's the Grown Ups 2 trailer. I'm sorry.

But look: If you watch it, and you see a moose urinate in Adam Sandler's face, and Andy Samberg sink to a new low, and David Spade's face, and Shaquille O'Neal shaking it like he just don't care, and Kevin James' naked ass, and Maria Bello financing her sadomasochistic indie film addiction, you will know that, no matter what happens for the rest of your day, it cannot get any worse than this. It's all uphill, folks!








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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Buck Forty

    Grown Ups 2 is going to be huge. I'm not trolling, 'regular folks' love that sh!t. I bet Sandler's already pitched Grown Ups 3D.

  • googergieger

    "Start Your Day with Taylor Lautner and Adam Sandler"

    *goes back to sleep*

  • ghisent

    Taylor Launter. Taylor Lautner is in this.

    This movie is hell, come to earth.

  • Steph

    That header picture is incredible. The guy on the right's neck is actually wider than his face.

  • Archie Leach

    Ya know, I can think of worse ways to earn a paycheck.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    The good news is, the comments here made me laugh.

    The bad news is - if that's Maria Bello in the still up there, she's coming down with a case of Chelsea Handler.

  • SnowMan

    I'm not gonna lie: Kevin James's naked ass landing on David Spade's face made me laugh out loud (literally).
    Not proud of it, but there it is...

  • Bernie

    yeah, I lol'ed. Making fun of the handshake make me laugh as well.

  • PerpetualIntern

    I think any ass landing on David Spade's face is an improvement, to say the least.

  • bleujayone

    Don't ever say it can't get any worse. Never. Not even when it seems the day is on the precipice of the event horizon. It can ALWAYS get worse. In fact I would argue that the powers that be, whether by the ghoulish sense of humor of divine influence, of karma or of bad luck- they all welcome the moments when someone foolishly challenges that the absolute pinnacle of Worst has been achieved and instantly strive forth to supersede it as one might expect an Olympic sprinter trying to set a new world record. By saying things cannot get worse, they inevitably do just that.

    The same set of standards can be attributed to any movie even remotely related to Adam Sandler. A new, shitful movie spews forth and people burdened with more than two brain cells to rub together are forced to watch and decree, "Egads! Have mercy on us! This could not possibly be any worse!" Upon which Sandler's ears immediately prick up and he gleefully answers the call by searching out every rejection bin and pub crawl for something that is indeed much worse. To date he has never failed to meet such a tribulation.

    So please for the love of whatever deity you might believe in, don't ever declare that the day cannot get worse. For one day there will be a trailer to a film of such magnitude that will be unleashed unto the ill-prepared masses, even the gods themselves will be taken aback and say, "Zounds!... Loki, Samael, Typhon, Hades- all of you!!! Observe and take care, for this one could have your jobs!"

  • Uriah_Creep

    Of course it could be worse: it could be "You Don't Mess With The Zohan 2".

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Comment of the Week Comment of the Week right there.

  • Rochelle

    Awwww, you guys, he just wants more Razzies.

  • The saddest part for me is Taran Killam.

    The second saddest part is when my brother-in-law, who I love dearly, tells me how awesome this movie looks.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Have you considered humanely putting him down, for the good of the gene pool? Because if he liked the first Grown-Ups, it's clear that he thinks peeing in pools is funny.

  • Your Daddy

    Well, it looks better than being stabbed at least...

  • Drake

    How big a knife, and where?

  • NoPantsMcLane

    Eh... I dunno...

  • Alberto Cox Délano

    SOCIAL WAR AND PEOPLE'S JUSTICE AGAINST WHOEVER MADE THIS.

  • the dude

    Adam Sandler deserves an award for not giving a fuck. When dignity goes out the door, cash starts rollin' in!

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    And the Oscar for Fewest Fucks Given in a Film goes to...

    Huh. Actually, it goes to James Franco. Nobody can give fewer fucks than that guy. Dude did a Ph.D in Fuck Scarcity.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    I don't care.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I think I might be giving him a run for the money in Fuck Scarcity.

    Oh wait. You were talking about something else.

  • the dude

    he's the PHD fucking master!

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