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Still No Ewoks in a Hot Tub

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (24)

EwokJedi.jpg

In one of the most astounding and unexpected announcements of all time, George Lucas told the media that all six Star Wars films would be released on Blu-Ray in 2011. It’s unexpected for two reasons. First, how can the most profitable film franchise in history expect to make money with a release onto the newest and most advanced visual medium? Madness. Completely unexpected madness. Second, George Lucas giving in to any form of merchandising is unprecedented after decades of not letting the slightest trifle slip by with a Star Wars logo attached. I mean, the guy is practically the J.D. Salinger of the film industry.

Oh and even better news for true fans of the series! Only the special editions will be released on Blu-ray! So now Greedo will shoot first, inexplicably miss, and undermine the entire foundation of the character of Han Solo in a billion pixels!

Explains George Lucas:

“Releasing the originals is kind of an oxymoron because the quality of the original is not very good. You have to go through and do a whole restoration on it, and you have to do that digitally. It’s a very, very expensive process to do it. So when we did the transfer to digital, we only transferred really the upgraded version.”

Seriously, I cannot wrap my head around this. In 1997, Lucas and company completely restored and worked an admirable amount of magic on the deteriorating original copies of the trilogy. As part of this process they used CGI to add a bunch of crap like slithering Jabba and Greedo shooting first that fans rolled their eyes at. But what Lucas is saying now suggests that there is not a restored copy that hasn’t been “upgraded.” So to get this absolutely straight, they did not restore it and then make changes, they made changes as part of the restoration. That defeats the entire fucking point of a restoration.

I was always irritable about the changes Lucas made on the special editions, but I never quite felt the need to crusade about it. But this? If this is really the way it went down, it’s an artistic affront, because it means that despite millions poured into “restoring” the Star Wars films, the actual original trilogy is still falling apart and disintegrating in some vault somewhere. The point of a restoration is to preserve the original so that it doesn’t die. It appears that rather than taking the logical steps of restoring the film and then making any modifications he wanted to after the fact, Lucas insisted on modifying and restoring as part of the same process. Put it this way: there is a cut of Star Wars in which Han shoots first disintegrating into dust right now and there is a restored digital cut in which Greedo shoots first. There is no other cut.

Oh, but they’re showing off deleted scenes from Return of the Jedi now!

I’m amazed Luke wasn’t replaced with a talking burrito at this point.

(source: SlashFilm)









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Comments

I'm just glad I still have the Laserdisc Trilogy which is dramatically cleaned up and Han shoots first.

Posted by: Adam C. at August 16, 2010 10:05 AM

I found the original Original Triology on DVD at Waltmart.com for $29.99 recently. It's not Blu-Ray, but that's fine. I can happily watch these uncrapified versions of the films whenever I want.

I can live without HD.

Greedo shooting first? Not so much.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at August 16, 2010 10:05 AM

I hate you, George Lucas, I hate you with every restored fiber of my being. With every single beat of my cold, dead, black, Dark Side heart I wish you the worst. You suck. You hate your fans and now we hate you. We look at all the little "timmie" fans you have spawned with the three movies which don't exist and we pity them because they don't know good from bad [EVIL].

But I've had an epiphany about them. I know when they'll get it. And it will happen soon. I need only wait nine more years. Nine more years, George, and you will desperately re-release the movies which don't exist. And you'll George Lucas all over those, too. Just like you did to the only three Star Wars movies. You'll George Lucas all over them and then the kids will be heartbroken. And they will feel their childhoods destroyed. And they will say unto us:

"Wizard, I know you're not just a crazy old man. I know why you turned to the Dark Side. I accept your sage wisdom and acknowledge the truth: There are only three Star Wars movies and they were all theatrically released between 1977 and 1983."

Until then, George, I'll wait patiently, seeking solace in my big bag of rock salt.

Posted by: lubeg at August 16, 2010 10:11 AM

I will most certainly not give Lucas any of my money for this travesty of a conversion. Go suck a fat Gungan cock, George. "You-sa take it deeper Georges. Me-sa want to hear you choke."

Posted by: admin at August 16, 2010 10:33 AM

I believe the Library of Congress has an a print of the original version of Star Wars.

I have remastered versions of the original trilogy on Laserdisc as well the DVDs released a couple years ago that included both cuts of the films. I'm sure George is holding onto restored copies of the trilogy as it originally was released to theaters. Wanna bet for the 40th Anniversary of the release of Star Wars, he'll release another Blu-ray set including all versions of the films and even more deleted scenes?

Posted by: Asta77 at August 16, 2010 10:34 AM

*sigh* Not exactly knocking people over with your smarts there, Georgie.

Posted by: Ducky at August 16, 2010 10:36 AM

THIS, this is why I keep holding onto my VHS copies of the original trilogy. My husband keeps asking "Can we get rid of these? We have all 6 on DVD." And I say "NO! These are the ORIGINAL originals. Fuck the rest of those restorations and other movies."
Eventually my lazy ass will find a friend with a VHS to DVD recorder and put them on DVD to take up less room but I'll never give them up. NEVER. Stupid George Lucas.

Posted by: JenVegas at August 16, 2010 10:36 AM

The worst thing about the alterations isn't that they're dumb and masturbatory and harmful to the films, it's that they're done really badly. Star Wars was made with the best practical effects the late 70s and early 80s had to offer, and it was Special Edition'd with just fucking terrible late 90s CGI. I don't know if anyone has watched the opening shots of Mos Eisley, but there are about a million new droids and aliens and speeders flying right past the camera and they look ridiculous. There are these hideous scrub marks from where they digitally added that stuff in that are present even on the HD transfers they show on TV.

And the Greedo debacle is made even worse by the fact that Greedo's shot doesn't line up with the way his gun's pointing and Han 'dodges' by having his head in one place in one frame and another in the next. And the terrible animation on Han as he steps on the tail of the thing that is supposed to be Jabba the Hutt but doesn't look anything like Jabba the Hutt.

The "I'm taking my football and going home" mentality that George Lucas frames all this just makes it sting a little more. He's made it abundantly clear that they're his movies and he'll do what he wants with them, but the idea that it's somehow too expensive to restore the originals? The man has more money under his couch cushions than I'll ever see in my life, and there's zero chance of him not recouping whatever is spent on this restoration process.

Ugh, I just can't muster enough vitriol for this. I'm not even touching the fact that it's solely a six-disc set so you don't get the option of only buying the ones you want.

Posted by: Jim at August 16, 2010 10:39 AM

People still go nuts over these films? Never understood the appeal. Kind of pretty films with lovely music and that's it. Awful acting and hack stories. They're all pretty damn bad.

Yes, I'm a regular here. No, I don't want to be hunted down and killed for expressing a severe dislike of this wretched film series, especially since that dislike is very out of character.

Posted by: NotTakingCredit at August 16, 2010 10:49 AM

Han shot first because he is a hard ass motherfucker and the future is no place for second best. Just ask the janitors on the Death Stars. While they're getting blown to bits in another man's war, Han is makin' moves and straight ballin' across the Verse, shooting first and not even taking names because fuck you, you're dead now and nobody cares about your stupid name, jackass.

Posted by: Kballs at August 16, 2010 10:57 AM

It's a shame the creator of this series cares so little for what he produced. I may have starred in some shitty theater productions in my life, but I don't go back in and edit the footage to include professional actors because they better convey the vision of the production.

This jackass has all the money in the world to try and restore one of the most honored genre films in the history of cinema (and it's less noteworthy sequels) and instead he says it's too much work. I guess it's too much work to go to the store and buy any of his films then, right? Sure, I have the money to buy a new copy of American Graffiti right now, but it's too much work and this bootleg recording from the first VCR my family owned is good enough, right? Sure, the tape skips and there are commercial breaks, but it's too hard to fix it.

Posted by: Robert at August 16, 2010 11:01 AM

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Posted by: alicelive at August 16, 2010 11:18 AM

Aren't the geeks a little too excited for seeing a lightsaber? It's not a double rainbow or anything.

Posted by: zito at August 16, 2010 12:46 PM

I was just waiting for the day to be able to see “Star Wars” in blu-ray but Jesus Christ, Lucas! You just couldn’t resist fucking over the very people that made you more richer than Karl Stromberg. I can just see you now sitting in your fifty-eight thousand square foot Tudor on your thirteen thousand acre ranch in your screening room lording over your film technicians as you direct them to fuck the essence out of “Star Wars” while stroking your white Persian cat as you sip twelve year old brandy out of a snifter.

Posted by: Pookie at August 16, 2010 1:22 PM

I like Star Wars but I really don't think I need to see it again as long as I live. Empire holds up better because it is awesome. But I see no reason to buy these movies on yet another format. And being forced to buy the prequels? Fuck you, George.

Posted by: TylerDFC at August 16, 2010 2:11 PM

My wife still has her VHS of the original. Guess I'll have to get an old VCR (no anti-copy chip) and copy it to digital. Really, really sorry he keeps making these decisions.

Posted by: OlorinGrayhame at August 16, 2010 2:18 PM

Please get it straight, y'all.

Han did not shoot "first." To claim that implies that Greedo ever fired at all, which he assuredly did not.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at August 16, 2010 2:21 PM

Please get it straight, y'all.

Han did not shoot "first." To claim that implies that Greedo ever fired at all, which he assuredly did not.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at August 16, 2010 2:21 PM

___________________

*springs trap shut*

HA! Gotcha, nerd!

Now get in there and fix my computer.

Posted by: Kballs at August 16, 2010 3:14 PM

I know we hate to endorse copyright infringement . . but F You, George. If you want to keep screwing that dead diseased pooch, I'm going to maintain my investment in the art that I fell in love with across format changes, whether you like it or not.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at August 16, 2010 4:39 PM

You know, if the real fans really WERE as loyal to these films as they claim to be, they'd boycott this crap and anything else that Lucas tries to make. But you know they'll run to the stores and make lines 3 weeks before the things are released, because THEY CAN'T FUCKING LEARN.

Posted by: figgy at August 16, 2010 5:44 PM

Don't worry because no matter what Lucas says he will eventually release the original versions on blu-ray just as he did on DVD after claiming that "those films don't exist anymore."

Not that I care because I'm just sick and tired of all of Lucas' bs.

Posted by: John W at August 16, 2010 6:18 PM

get off the whole "true fan" crap already. just because someone likes a different version doesnt make them any less a fan. grow up.

Posted by: Jason at August 16, 2010 8:26 PM

Also, Kballs, I believe it was a long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away) - not the future.

Shit, was that a trap too?

Posted by: Ed at September 7, 2010 9:20 PM

It’s difficult to find experienced people on this area, but you appear to be you know what you’re talking about! Thanks

Posted by: Nollen at January 23, 2011 9:25 PM