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Spoiler Alert for the Pompeii Trailer: The Volcano Wins

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | August 22, 2013 | Comments ()


pompeii-kit-harington-first-look.jpg

Can you imagine how frustrating it must be for Kit Harington’s character to spend his whole life perfecting his six-minute ab workout, to finally find a woman (Emily Browning) that appreciates his rock hard stomach, only to then find out that his girlfriend’s father (Keifer Sutherland) wants to keep them apart, and THEN, once they finally overcome that obstacle, a goddamn volcano drowns the whole city in lava.

What a waste of a perfectly good six pack. ALL THOSE CRUNCHES WERE FOR NOTHING.





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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • fappy days

    Are...are they going to war with the volcano?

  • BlackRabbit

    Jon vs. The Volcano? It would explain Kit's acting range if he has a brain cloud.

  • St

    Oh please. It’s Hollywood. Jon Snow and his girl will probably escape at the last minute. Like would run from evil father and then boom - volcano hits just when they safely run somewhere.

  • Sherry

    "ALL THOSE CRUNCHES WERE FOR NOTHING."

    You lie, good sir! They were quite good for my libido! Now, you just take that back.

  • NateMan

    It probably sounds silly, but I usually avoid movies where I already know the ending. Titanic (which I didn't want to see anyway), that one about Mount St. Helen's blowing - nevermind, that was called Dante's Peak, but was still the same thing - most war movies about failed mission. Black Hawk Down being the exception to that rule. I don't think I'll be watching this. I don't really need the reminder that Mother Nature can just fuck all your plans in one fell swoop.

  • emmalita

    Dante's Peak was in no way related to Mother Nature or any of the laws of physics, logic, or grammar. It was one of the most relentlessly stupid natural disaster movies not premiered on SyFy. I'm not saying this to encourage you to give these movies another chance. I am congratulating you on your instinctual aversion to this particular manner of killing brain cells.

  • This just reminded me how great the first Pompe was. Definitely one of the bright spots of the past few years. Now they have to go and ruin it with this obvious cash grab sequel.

  • emmalita

    This just looks like a murky mess. I still remember the 1984 TV miniseries, by the end of that I was rooting for the volcano. Fun fact, the 1984 miniseries is based on the novel by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, of "it was a dark and stormy night" fame. Top that Paul W.S. Anderson!

  • VohaulsRevenge

    I was waiting for someone to mention that show. Showing my age. Blah.

  • emmalita

    Aged Pajibans unite!

  • rasputinreborn

    Aged Pajibans untie!

    (if your arthritically mangled hands can manage)

  • Mrs. Julien

    I watched that, too.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Yep, definitely plastic.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Not the product of a very specific, highly repetitive, and profoundly dull workout undertaken with consideration of exactly when the display would take place? Cause that gets my guess. Didn't they do that with Henry (Oh My God, He Is So Good-Looking) Cavill for Man of Steel?

  • Fabius_Maximus

    They don't move when he moves. Muscles are supposed to flex, right?

  • BuffyloGal

    I have a feeling that the Doctor Who episode on this was more interesting.

  • BWeaves

    Not only more interesting, but more prophetic. It had future Amy Pond and future Doctor, in TOGAS!

  • BuffyloGal

    Yes, well, timey wimey can do that.

  • Maguita NYC

    I'm a sap for such movies. Show me Roman Empire, I show you my money. Also, been there visiting digs and they are just fascinating.

  • PerpetualIntern

    The brothel was my favorite part. And the main street with the shops and tiles that acted as florescent lighting. God damn I love Italy.

  • Maguita NYC

    There is a picture of me in front of a fresca and fountain; That place with the hot sun, cicadas and odd stillness was magical. I'd go back anytime!

  • WhoDeyKY

    are those real? I mean...those are airbrushed on...right? Right?!

  • Muhnah_Muhnah

    Wow. That looks...dull. I mean, I find Kit Harrington quite dull to begin with, he seems to only have one facial expression (semi-constipated). But the trailer: volcano erupting, gladiators, things burning...still somehow manages to bore me. It's quite a feat.

  • Mr. E

    When I think of an Italian man, I think of Keifer F*cking Sutherland!

  • Shoulda cast the Fonz.

    Pomp-AYYYYY

  • Snazzy

    This is effectively Titanic on land right?

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