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February 4, 2009 |

By TK Burton | Industry | February 4, 2009 |

I know, I know. You’re tired of hearing me rail about remakes. But you know what? For the most part — when it’s not a bona fide classic, I don’t really mind all that much. There are a plethora of weak sauce movies that, to be perfectly honest, could probably use a good remaking.

But noooo…

Instead, someone is doing something that is near-unfathomable to me. Remaking one of the top ten best sports movies of all time. One of the best satires of all time. Something that starred one of the finest actors in the history of acting. Yeah. Universal Studios is remaking the 1977 classic, Slap Shot. It’s being directed by Dean Parisot. Now, the good news is that Parisot directed the clever and quite entertaining Galaxy Quest. The bad news is that he also directed Fun With Dick And Jane and Home Fries. That’s up there with, “Congratulations! You don’t have herpes! But you do have dick cancer. Sorry, dude.”

Parisot’s resume is hardly the issue, though. The issue is — how do you remake Paul Newman? Paul fucking Newman, people. He’s a legend. When he died last year, writers and commenters alike showed up to pay their respects to his body of work, both in film and in philanthropy. In the simplest of terms, he was The Man. Slap Shot was riotously funny, and while there was a hideous “sequel” released in 2002, at least they didn’t attempt a remake. Just when we thought it was safe…

Ah, Hollywood… you’re really outdoing yourself this time. You fuckers.

Are You Crazy? Those Guys Are Retards!

The Body Ain't Even Cold Yet / TK

Industry | February 4, 2009 |

TK Burton is the Editorial Director. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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