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They're Remaking Wall-E's Remake of Short Circuit

With the 9th Worst Director in Hollywood / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | October 27, 2009 | Comments (20)

File under: Remake of a remake news. We reported not too long ago that Dimension Films is piecing together a remake of Short Circuit, which — unofficially — must have been the inspiration for Pixar’s Wall-E. Word is now that the Short Circuit remake is not only moving ahead (Number 5 is Alive!), but that there is now a director attached. In fact, that director is Steve Carr, number nine on our list of the Worst Directors in Hollywood. I suppose he’s perfect for the role, too. He specializes in bad movies that feature animal gags (Dr. Doolittle 2, Are We There Yet?) and he has his pulse on mainstream fat-ass America (Paul Blart: Mall Cop).

Dan Milano (“Robot Chicken,” “Greg the Bunny”) wrote the script, which is a straight-forward remake. I suppose there’s not a lot of leeway for interpretation: It’s a fucking robot, hit by lightning, that develops human emotions, who needs the help of humans once it is targeted by its makers for becoming a peacenik. Lousy fucking robot.

Knowing Steve Carr, in his remake, Johnny 5 will have a talking pet and a waistline the size of Nebraska. You know, to appeal to Nebraskans. Plus: Doritos product placement!

Oh, and if any of you still have some nostalgic fondness for Short Circuit, on account of the fact that you were six years old when it came out, just as I did with “The A-Team” yesterday, allow me to disabuse you of any notion that the original was any goddamn good. It wasn’t. It starred Steve Guttenberg. No movie featuring Steve Guttenberg was ever any good (yeah. That means Three Men and a Baby and Police Academy). Here, let me refresh your memory:




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Comments

No! You shush! If I want to believe every film of my childhood was a masterpiece I shall!

Posted by: Carrie at October 27, 2009 11:52 AM

I watched Short Circuit the other week and it was in fact, AMAZING. Not as good as Jurassic Park, but up there amongst the greats from my childhood.

Short Circuit 2 on the other hand.....

Posted by: allenkeif at October 27, 2009 11:57 AM

Steve Guttenberg and Ally Sheedy? Well, at least my fond memories of childhood won't be raped, because the original already accomplished that.

Posted by: mrcreosote at October 27, 2009 12:05 PM

Knowing Steve Carr, in his remake, Johnny 5 will have a talking pet and a waistline the size of Nebraska. You know, to appeal to Nebraskans. Plus: Doritos product placement!

In the original Stephanie did rescue animals and had a three-legged dog named Beasley. And they featured some good Dr. Pepper placement (Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too?). Gimme a break, I was a child and the machines had cool lasers.

In related news, I frequently had my lunch money stolen from me as a kid.

Posted by: branded at October 27, 2009 12:05 PM

That went by so fast ... who was the Pajibette in the bathtub?

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at October 27, 2009 12:06 PM

That sound you hear is Julie shitting a brick.

It's true, though. Short Circuit blew. Now *batteries not included on the other hand... that flick is fucking beautiful.

Posted by: TK at October 27, 2009 12:36 PM

I was just thinking about that "Worst Directors" list, that was a scream.

Though Uwe Boll should have been in first place, as a badge of honor.

Posted by: George at October 27, 2009 12:42 PM

As long as they base the remake on our version of Wally, I'm cool.


"Wouldn't you like to be sauteed in peppers too?"

Posted by: admin at October 27, 2009 12:53 PM

I watched Short Circuit about 2 months ago. And I laughed out loud. More than once. And I was SOBER. One month ago I watched Weekend at Bernies. Again, I laughed out loud multiple times. Don't cry for me my friends, for I once suckled from the sweet teats of John Hughes, Mel Brooks, Eddie Izzard, and Judd Apatow. Apparently I have had my fill and am consigned to spend the rest of my days cackling at Jonathan Silverman's voice cracked laughter that just SCREAMS "No, my testicles have not descended. Ask Andrew McCarthy, he knows."

Posted by: Julie at October 27, 2009 1:03 PM

I hate how well TK knows me and my terrible taste in movies. God damn it.

Posted by: Julie at October 27, 2009 1:05 PM

"Her pants are blazing for you!" said with a thick Indian accent.

That's all I remember about that movie, because darling hubby kept using that line over and over.

Posted by: BWeaves at October 27, 2009 1:32 PM

Actually, Short Circuit 2 is in my head in a better light. But, it's mostly for the scene near the end where the villians beat Johnny 5 to pieces with a crowbar and an axe, him shrieking and pleading for his robot life while red hydraulic fluid sprays everywhere.
It's probably the same reason why my girlfriend can't watch Scrubs anymore. I insist on us watching the episode where Brendan Fraser's character dies, and I laugh and laugh the entire time. I think she sent the DVDs back to her mom.
That's right. I kill happiness.
Who wants to watch Requiem for a Dream? Eh? A little Sophie's Choice, anyone? I won't laugh, but I promise to hand you Kleenex and then squeeze the tears into a real fruit smoothie.

Posted by: Jim Doggie at October 27, 2009 1:54 PM

YOU KNOW THAT EVERY TIME YOU TALK OF BALL-E AS HE SHALL BE KNOWNN, YOU EMPOWER HIM! HE'S LIKE IT! AS LONG AS NO ONE REMEMBERS HE HAS NO POWER!!!


ND YOU SHUT YOUR DIRTY PIRATE WHORE MOUTH ROWLES!!! NUMBER FIVE IS ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE

And not a serial killing little paedophile

Posted by: Nadine at October 27, 2009 4:09 PM

Um... it appears that this post has driven Nadine off the rails.

Again.

Posted by: Skewicide Blonde at October 27, 2009 4:11 PM

I'm sorry.
I just know he's gathering strength.
And he's coming for me.

Posted by: Nadine at October 27, 2009 4:40 PM

wwwallllll-eeeeeeee

I shall own your soul.

Posted by: WALL•E at October 27, 2009 4:47 PM

NOOOOOO
OH GOD PLEASE NOOOO!!

FUCK YOU YOU BOXY LITTLE TWERP, I'M GONNA KICK YOU DOWN SOME CONCRETE STAIRS SO GOD DAMNED HARD!You lazy Johnny 5 wannabe little dork! I will remove your roller tracks.
I will win, Wall-E. Dont you doubt it.I will beat you. You will never make another fatty into a cube of human flesh, ever again. Not in my lifetime.

Posted by: Nadine at October 27, 2009 4:58 PM

I get that Johnny 5 may have inspired the character of Wall-E visually, it's a bit of a stretch to file this under "remake of a remake".

The visual is all they share. Not tone, or plot, or themes, or medium.

Posted by: Daniel Hall at October 27, 2009 7:50 PM

Thank you, Jim Doggie, for making me snarfle.

Posted by: Lauren at October 27, 2009 8:34 PM

"Short Circuit" /wasn't/ a good movie? BAH! You can't prove that!!

Hi-5 to whomever it was that mentioned "Batteries not Included". I saw that when I was a tiny thing and as an adult I have had a dread suspicion that it wouldn't be any good on a reviewing. I'll take your word for it though.

Posted by: ameagari at November 3, 2009 5:41 AM





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