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Let’s Play a Game with Will Smith’s Brain

UnHappyness / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | September 30, 2008 | Comments (55)

The trailer for Will Smith’s next flick, Seven Pounds is out — it comes from the same team that brought us the manipulative, tearjerking, grammarian-abusing, The Pursuit of Happyness. Here’s what’s odd about the trailer for Seven Pounds — it gently pulls at your heartstrings, yet it gives nothing away. I don’t think.

So, for shits and giggles, let’s try to figure out what Seven Pounds is about, without looking it up. We know that Will Smith’s character apparently ruined his life in seven second. We also know there are seven strangers on a list. It looks like he’s giving something away. The title of the movie is Seven Pounds. Is he giving away his brain? Cause, you know: The human brain weighs seven pounds, which we all know thanks to Jerry Maguire. Could it be that easy? Is that what Seven Pounds is about? Who to give his brain too?

Oh, man: That’s stupid. That’s a solid 10 on the retard scale.









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Comments

"No Longer Available"!
How will I ever discover the mystery! Is he giving seven units of British currency?

New trailer added. Should work now. -- DR

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 30, 2008 10:04 AM

I'm getting the message, "We're sorry. This video is no longer available." Wow! It was that bad?

Posted by: BWeaves at September 30, 2008 10:05 AM

based on the now, dead link video, im guessing its not about very much that I will find interesting.
I respect Smith's desire to show his acting chops and show he can be seriou and shizznit...But honestly, I find him so bland when he gets all serious.
I prefer to watch him be...funny and sharp and slur lines like 'cos I been drinkin, bitch' when accused of smelling like booze ( liked Hancock, we've had this debate, lets move on)


So...yeah, I have no clue what this film is about, is it going to be My Name is Earl but serious and with a TOTALLY NOT A SCIENTOLOGUST JUST REALLY GOOD FRIENDS WITH A SCIENTOLOGIST FAMILY lead star?

Cos that ruins MNIE for me, Lee's cultish leanings, so ....maybe I'll see this and laugh innapropriately without somehow feeling like I'm supporting the scariest cult this side of the Manson Family

Posted by: nadine at September 30, 2008 10:06 AM

The link is broken. so I'll just jump in here and mention that the title reminds me of how my dumb sister-in-law told me that the movie 21 Grams was supposed to be significant of how much the soul weighs, and so when people die they lose 21 grams. That was so stupid. Who the hell is weighing the imminently deceased just prior to and then right at the moment of death? And why are these scales so accurate, right to the gram?

Anyway, I told her that and she flipped me off. She's such a bitch. Which brings me to this movie. Is someone getting a brain transplant? Like Frahnkenshteen? I might see that movie. But not with Will Smith.

Posted by: Mella at September 30, 2008 10:18 AM

Maybe smith is trying to give his seven pound bouncing baby boy away because it's mother died while delivering the baby, and smith is going around interviewing potential parents. See, it's not that difficult to figure out.

Posted by: Pookie at September 30, 2008 10:23 AM

Dustin,

I never expected a Cameron Crowe fan like yourself to forget that, according to Ray, the human head weights eight pounds.

Posted by: Sofía at September 30, 2008 10:24 AM

I think they did measure them for a scientific study. Although is it the weigh of the soul, or is it the weigh of them evacuating their bowels after death? The soul thing may be a load of shit.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 30, 2008 10:24 AM

"In 7 days, God created the world."

NOOOOO. God created the world in 6 days, and rested on the 7th day.

Stupid Scientologists.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 30, 2008 10:25 AM

True, true, Sofia. But we're talking about Will Smith's brain here.

Posted by: Dustin Rowles at September 30, 2008 10:26 AM

It's good to see Barry Pepper work again.

And that's about all I can say about it.

So based on that, Master William searches for Tinseltown castoffs and let's them wallow in his splendour for a few minutes. Only one gets to stay in the limelight and will become Smith's co-star in another *emotional* project about two ruthless car salesmen turned ecologysts transforming junkyards into animal shelters and residences for the elderly.

Posted by: Adere at September 30, 2008 10:29 AM

The title reminds me of how my dumb sister-in-law told me that the movie 21 Grams was supposed to be significant of how much the soul weighs, and so when people die they lose 21 grams. That was so stupid.

But...they actually make that point in the movie. Your sister-in-law may be dumb, but she seems to have a fairly accurate memory.

Posted by: Wednesday at September 30, 2008 10:30 AM

It's sad to see Muccino making such terrible "films." Before he crossed the pond he actually made some decent movies with L'ultimo Bacio and especially Come Te Nessuno Mai, the latter of which really should be brought over and subtitled and all that cause it's a pretty great high school coming-of-age type deal.

Posted by: Sasha at September 30, 2008 10:32 AM

"Now, if my head were veal, which I know it is not, if my head were veal, how much would it be worth?"

Wasn't the "weight of the soul" thing 21 grams?

There's some horrid puns about 7 and weight out there but no one seems to know what it means.

Posted by: Jay at September 30, 2008 10:37 AM

Did you all see that Connor Cruise is in this film playing the young Will Smith character? I'm not sure what to think of that . . . . but I'm fairly sure I will find him a better actor than his daddy!

Posted by: SCG at September 30, 2008 10:38 AM

Yeah, Optimus Rhyme, I'm with you on that. I think people would more likely poo out 21 grams. Quite literally a load of shit.

Posted by: b at September 30, 2008 10:44 AM

Here's my theory. He did something really, really bad that he'll never get over. So now he wants to kill himself. But to try to make amends for what he did, he's going to give away his organs to 7 people (maybe he got a list of compatible recipients or something). So, like, Woody Harrelson looks like he's blind, right? So that would be his corneas. Rosario Dawson is clearly sick and in the hospital, so she obviously needs something. He's checking to make sure they're all good people before literally giving his "pound of flesh" (7 pounds of it!) to each of them. But then he falls in love with Rosario Dawson and things get complicated... as things in movies like this are wont to do.

Does that make sense? Anyhoo. Just my theory.

Posted by: AnnArrogance at September 30, 2008 10:45 AM

Remember that we're dealing with Hollywood execs here. In order to think like them you'd have to spend a good hour in a tightly confined space huffing paint thinner to kill the necessary brain cells to reach that state of mind.

Let's go with man with God-complex thinks that he can better the lives of sick people with his combo solution of exercise and saunas, thereby flushing out seven pounds of excrement to sell to the viewers??

I can't wait. The icing on the cake would be if one Smith's spawn were in the film, too.

Posted by: branded at September 30, 2008 10:47 AM

7 pounds of attempted heart-string pulling bullshittery? 7 pounds is the weight of each of Rosario Dawson's breasts? Or Will Smith's character has 7 pounds of Oxycontin and he is trying to decide who to give his stash to so that they can begin a lucrative career as a wealthy drug dealer. Stupid movies involving fucking numbers in the title...

Posted by: Dangle McGee at September 30, 2008 10:52 AM

Who is that at the .59 second mark? He gives such a Nicolas Cagey performance but I can't recognize who that is. John Turturro with weird hair?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 30, 2008 10:52 AM

I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that it's about the trials and tribulations of a big pile of excrement. Set against the background of ...ah, a big pile of excrement.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 30, 2008 10:54 AM

b -- That's exactly what I was thinking. It's a selfless act, there are seven strangers on the list, he's doing them a "big favor..." I think that could be what he's going for.

I hate those goddamn heartstring movies. They're just so transparent in their manipulation of emotion. "Feel inspired now. Okay, now feel sad." If I'm gonna cry at a movie, it has to earn it. Little Women? Cried like a baby. Atonement? Likewise. Titanic? Didn't shed a single tear. I get the distinct impression that if I somehow lose control of my senses and decide to spend money to see this film in the theaters, my heartstrings will blatantly refuse to be tugged. Eat that, Smith.

Posted by: catie at September 30, 2008 10:56 AM

I just searched the web for spoilers for this movie. HAHAHAHHAHA! It's SOOOOOOOOO STUPID.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 30, 2008 11:02 AM

Catie, I wish I could take credit for that insight, but I think it came from AnnArrogance (and I totally think it makes sense too). Sadly mine was the poopoo comment.

Posted by: b at September 30, 2008 11:05 AM

But...they actually make that point in the movie. Your sister-in-law may be dumb, but she seems to have a fairly accurate memory.

Posted by: Wednesday
---------------

No,I get it, and it's cool because the filmmakers were making an artistic point and I'm totally on board with that. And my stupid sister-in-law had just seen it that weekend, so it's not her memory that's the problem, it's her retarded insistence that the premise was true that irritated me. She wouldn't shut UP about it.

Anyway, I looked it all up then because I was annoyed, and the theory was proven in like 1900 by a doctor who set out to prove that particular theory, so I take it with a grain of salt. He only had a few patients and a scale that was accurate according to 1900 medical standards so I HATE MY SISTER-IN-LAW!!

I really enjoyed the movie, though. I promise.

Posted by: Mella at September 30, 2008 11:07 AM

I heard it was a re-imagining of Snow White & The Seven Dwarves. Except instead of Snow White, we've got an African American fellow (turns that character around, huh?), and the dwarves are all played by Verne Troyer - except they're smaller (think the Oompa Loompas in Burton's Wonka). All the dwarves are tiny (i.e. one pound), and live inside of Rosario Dawson's breasteses. Throughout the film, Smith calls on the various skills of the dwarves (Hacker, Doper, Spicy, Stabby, Milker, Humper and Doc) to help him get through life-altering situations. In the end, the dwarves are all set free from their boob-purgatory and form a dancing troupe. Dawson realizes that she's been a man all along, which puts an interesting twist on her and Smith's relationship. They become managers of the now-famous SVN SHAWTY'S and everybody wins! WHOOO!

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at September 30, 2008 11:13 AM

I always figured that 21 grams thing was expulsion of air from the lungs (if it's even true).

Posted by: Todd at September 30, 2008 11:14 AM

sasha,
I like come te nessuno mai when I was 15 cause it really sound like he adopted a teenager mentality to mae the movie util I saw L'ultimo bacio and realized gabriele muccino HAS the head of a 15 years old, I'm very glad italian cinema got rid of him but that he has to bother the world now with his crappy shitty movies?
usually when you can figure the story out of the trailer of a tearjacking mainstream movie is because it's ever crappier than usual.
the 7 pounds are the ones you are gonna loose watching this piece of crap cause your brain is gonna die

Posted by: rio at September 30, 2008 11:36 AM

It looks like Rosario Dawson got the bonus plan if he's giving all those people his organs b/c she's getting more than one organ from Will Smith based on that trailer.

Posted by: Soup Sandwich at September 30, 2008 11:49 AM

Gross.

Just gross. Personally, when I heard the title of this film, I thought, "Baby, he's got a baby, so what's he going to do with it?" Though the person with the organ giving away sounded much better, and yet much dumber.

As for the 21 grams thing, has no one read Stiff by the incomparable Mary Roach? She dug into that bit of medical trivia, and pretty much bent it over a barrel. Mr. scientist dude from the 1900s saw it happen one time, but then couldn't replicate it. Some of the bodies even mysteriously put on weight after death. Ahhh, the weight of sins. I think the same guy liked to poison dogs and watch them die. Lots and lots of dogs, all in the name of science.

Posted by: noah at September 30, 2008 11:53 AM

It looks like Rosario Dawson got the bonus plan if he's giving all those people his organs b/c she's getting more than one organ from Will Smith based on that trailer.

Posted by: Soup Sandwich
----------------------

What do you mean? Oohhh, the MALE organ. Got it. The bone-a-phone.
The auger-headed gut wrench.
The baloney pony.
The diamond cutter.
The ovarian pool cue.
Spurt Reynolds.

Wait. Does that mean the trailer works again?? Yay!

Posted by: Mella at September 30, 2008 11:56 AM

Melia, you forgot "the giant purple-headed womb ferret." Although "ovarian pool cue" may be my new favorite.

Posted by: AnnArrogance at September 30, 2008 2:33 PM

OK, I think enough comments have gone by to give you the REAL PLOT of Seven Pounds.

SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT ***

Will Smith is an IRS agent who screwed up someone's tax return. He's out to find 7 people who deserve a refund, but the government is out to take the money away from him.

SPOILER END SPOILER END SPOILER END ***

I told you it was STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPID.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 30, 2008 2:39 PM

OK, I think enough comments have gone by to give you the REAL PLOT of Seven Pounds.

SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT ***

Will Smith is an IRS agent who screwed up someone's tax return. He's out to find 7 people who deserve a refund, but the government is out to take the money away from him.

SPOILER END SPOILER END SPOILER END ***

I told you it was STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPID.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 30, 2008 2:39 PM

Ah shit. Sorry about the double post. I'm not sure how that happened.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 30, 2008 2:40 PM

Oooh! Oooh! I have an addendum to my theory!!!

Rosario Dawson needs a HEART transplant. So he's going to literally AND figuratively give her his heart.

Awwww... Wouldn't that just be the cutest thing ever? Doesn't that just make your ears bleed with it's cuteness? Isn't that just the most perfect piece of shit that Hollywood could ever force-feed you?

Posted by: AnnArrogance at September 30, 2008 2:44 PM

Its no longer available because it violated terms and conditions of youtube

Posted by: mike at October 2, 2008 2:13 AM

He's gonna kill himself.
Rosario Dawson gets his heart.
Woody Harrrelson gets his eyes
Sarah Jane Morris gets his bone marrow
Bill Mitrovich gets his nards
Bojana Novakovic gets his house
Judyann Elder gets his money
and Michael Ealy gets what's left of his career

Posted by: thanatos at October 15, 2008 5:55 PM

The first time I heard Will Smith has a movie coming was from Yahoo; however, Yahoo did not provide a trailer at the time. What got me into wanting more, about this Will Smith next picture, was the possibility that he may lose his winning streat, of at least $100K, at the box office.

I have to say now, after I finally saw the trailer, when I went to the movies this past weekend to see Max Payne, I have no doubt that Will Smith will deliver.

A few pointers:
1. Will Smith lost a lot of weigth to fit for this picture
2. Who doesn't look good crying and running in the Rain.
3. Will is walking out of the Ocean only with short pants.
4. His living in a house, I think, surround by roses.
5. As far as Will Smith emotionally, that will be "The Persuit of Happyness" on Steroids!

Finally, to have been an American Dream from Persuit of Happyness; to became a Human Legend in I Am Legend; follow by Super Human abilities dated back thousands of years to protect Human Kind, and now his Depressed and seeking redemption; I like to see the transitional picture of that.

But then again, it is Big Willy!

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Posted by: Jean-Alfred Delva at October 21, 2008 7:55 PM

I think that this movie is gonna be awesome, Will Smith kills himself(finally),Rosario Dawson ruins her career(even more than 'rent' did)and woody harrelson shows off that cool bald spot...It's good to see the 4billion dollar man return to comedy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Totallyjaded at November 7, 2008 12:37 AM

i wanna see that movie!

Posted by: jmes cleus at November 27, 2008 10:28 PM

after having done something bad Will (knowing of his somehow impending death-maybe cancer) needs to find self forgiveness (assuming no or innocent ties to religion based on his martyr like suicide idea). being a irs agent he somehow gains intimate knowledge of the future recipients of his organs whereby finding them to be good human beings but in need-suitable to receive his last offerings. He proves himself to be kinda shady by his actions (he did something bad maybe that caused him to "martyr out" like he does) therefore knowing shady ppl to "off him" in a non suicide looking way (he beats out insurance too) he receives redemption (he thinks) by doing this , he falls for dawson rethinks has reason to live and causes some sort of internal caricature conflict ... I don't know I'm stoned

Posted by: peterb at November 29, 2008 7:10 AM

The human brain weighs 8 lbs... since you want to refer to Jerry Maguire.

However, the movie seems like an adult version of "Pay it forward".

Posted by: anon at November 30, 2008 12:41 AM

the human brain weighs 3 pounds.... Not 7

Posted by: Ten at November 30, 2008 3:43 AM

Wasn't Pay it Forward the "adult version" of Pay it Forward?

So is this IRS tax refund crap the REAL plot? I guess it's an attempt at one of those "ripped from the headlines!" movies because it's about people who need money, and hey, that's like SOOOOO what's going on right now in America! What a coincidence! Poverty is definitely a new and current event. I'm sure this movie is incredibly profound, the concept of giving poor people money is really unique and moving.

Posted by: Karfie at November 30, 2008 2:37 PM

Why presume pounds refers to lbs?...it could be pound like knock (pound on the door) maybe it's a knuckle pound (fist bump) maybe it refers t a heart pound....someone died, maybe the heart stopped after 7 pounds....hmmmmm

Posted by: GeniusGirl at December 5, 2008 9:53 PM

lol... Shakespeare anyone... Character of Shylock from Merchant of Venice... is a money lender / debt collector... despised by everyone (IRS AGENT... ring any bells) who demands a 'pound of flesh' in repayment for his outstanding debts... so put in a twist have a "now I've seen the light" and seek to repay your sins with a "pound of flesh" to seven people... it's redemption... it's figurative not literal...

Posted by: gsv at December 8, 2008 2:27 AM

of course it could also be seven dog pounds or car pounds, or seven relatives of Ezra Pound

Posted by: pffrt at December 17, 2008 8:08 AM

the point of the title is when people ask for their seven pounds of flesh in repayment of something.
His character is supposed to die and feels that he hasnt earned living so he decides to give his organs to deserving people to make amends therefore giving God his "seven pounds of flesh" in attempt to make amends for his sins..

Posted by: Rachel at December 17, 2008 12:08 PM

seven pounds refers to one of two things. the weight of all the organs combined that he donates to less fortunate. his eyes, heart, liver, lung... put them together and it weighs 7 pounds. Or, it means that he has taken weight off 7 peoples shoulders... thus making it "7 Pounds"

Posted by: Sean at December 18, 2008 4:13 PM

7 pounds is the total weight of the insides he gave away......Also the movies meaning is based on All other 7 items things people mentioned above.

Posted by: BoB at December 24, 2008 6:41 PM

I believe that because there were 7 dead people due to the accident which was basically smith's fault, he carried "7 pounds" on his heart and conscience. by giving away necessary organs, he feel that the weight is going to "lift" from his spirit.

Posted by: Maya at January 3, 2009 2:38 PM

7 pounds before her heart stopped. "ahh shit, now i gotta kill myself"
or 300,000 people die each year from heart failure due to being over weight... all it takes is 7lbs of body fat to be 11% more likely to die of heart failure, for every lb after that it goes up drasticly. (50+)

Posted by: nick at January 5, 2009 5:12 AM

7 pounds before her heart stopped. "ahh shit, now i gotta kill myself"
or 300,000 people die each year from heart failure due to being over weight... all it takes is 7lbs of body fat to be 11% more likely to die of heart failure, for every lb after that it goes up drasticly. (50+)

Posted by: nick at January 5, 2009 5:13 AM

7 pounds refers to the merchant of venice- a pound of flesh to pay a debt.

Posted by: sandy at January 16, 2009 8:43 AM

If you're looking for a movie that already DID this, go here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_of_Montreal

Posted by: chris at January 18, 2009 3:12 PM