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George Michael vs. The World

Que Cera Cera / Brian Prisco

Trade News | January 21, 2009 | Comments (44)

Let the backlash begin! You know, those precocious little child television stars. You’d think by getting tutelage from a Bateman and Opie, the boy’d have learned, but he’s suddenly been swarmed by the pleasant stink of his own farts.

Cera’s been recently signed on to Edgar Wright’s big screen version of the Scott Pilgrim graphic novels, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. I know very little of the series, but it sound pretty goddamn promising. Scott Pilgrim is a Canadian slacker and wannabe rockstar. He falls for American delivery girl Ramona V. Flowers (played by the delicious Mary Elizabeth Winstead — oh, Lucy McLaine) and in order to win her hand, he must battle and kill all of her seven ex-boyfriends, among them at least one half-ninja. In the hands of Edgar Wright, this could be pretty fucking insanely gloriously wonderful.

However, Cera’s essentially decided to light a Roman Candle with his coolness cred and fire it into a crowd of cancer orphans holding puppies. He’s already on my shit list for ruining one movie coming out this year, the adaptation of C.D. Payne’s unfuckinggodly hilarious Youth in Revolt by taking on the starring role of Nick Twisp. Attention Hollywood: stop casting Michael Cera as every fucking teenager from here to eternity. Nick Twisp is convinced he’s debonair, smooth, and swarthy. He’s convinced he’s an intellectual, and is desperate for to bang Sheeni Saunders, goddess of his dreams. This is not Michael Cera. He’s made a fucking career out of playing the polar opposite of that. I don’t need to hear him falsetto-lisping his way through that shit.

But now, supposedly he’s being the lone holdout on the Arrested Development movie. At least until he sees a script, mind you. What? You think I’m overreacting? Here’s a clip of him at MTV. I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt that he’s joking and being sarcastic because he’s annoyed that everyone keeps jamming a microphone and asking if he’ll still be Arnold Drummond…er, George Michael. But dude….he’s reaching into dick territory and ticking the balls:


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Comments

dick.

Posted by: missboomissquick at January 21, 2009 10:01 AM

Eh. I'd roll him.

Posted by: Clee Shay at January 21, 2009 10:10 AM

My level of loathing for this one-trick douchebag has steadily been rising ever since he first scoffed at the idea of an AD movie. A little bit of humility and gratitude goes a long way, you arrogant assfart face schmuck. And by the way, you can't act worth shit.

Posted by: little ya at January 21, 2009 10:10 AM

dick butthole

Posted by: Thaf at January 21, 2009 10:13 AM

BUTTHOLE.

Posted by: Snath at January 21, 2009 10:16 AM

I want my Arrested Development movie, damn it.

Posted by: Julie at January 21, 2009 10:27 AM

I just watched the clip again, and it seems to me he's just joking about the shredding and the villainy. And I can't blame him for qualifying his involvement in the movie until he sees a script and IF there's ever a script to see.

Posted by: Clee Shay at January 21, 2009 10:27 AM

I am usually just a lurker, but I have a quick question. Why is it that whenever Cera is approached about the AD movie, he acts as if he hasn't heard much about it? Is his head so far up his ass at this point that he no longer knows what is going on around him?

Fucking asshat.

Posted by: Riley at January 21, 2009 10:29 AM

Hurwitz needs to write him off. He should write a subplot where George Michael's kidnapped and they substitute him with a different actor. Thing is, no one in the family seems to notice but Michael, and when he asks the police and everyone else about how different George Michael looks and acts, they say: Him?

Posted by: Clyde at January 21, 2009 10:32 AM

Hurwitz needs to write him off. He should write a subplot where George Michael's kidnapped and they substitute him with a different actor. Thing is, no one in the family seems to notice but Michael, and when he asks the police and everyone else about how different George Michael looks and acts, they say: Him?

Posted by: Clyde at January 21, 2009 10:32 AM

Longtime reader/lurker, first time commenter, etc. I have to say that, while the dude's got a somewhat limited range (from what's been seen of him) he really hasn't had much chance to step into some different roles. Hell, I don't get the outcry against him being cast as every teen ever. The dude's been in, what, 3 movies since AD ended? He's not exactly the ideal Scott Pilgrim either (brilliant series, by the way) but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

As for an AD movie, I get where he's coming from. I think a film is rather unnecessary and unless it's brilliant, I'd rather not tarnish the series by revisiting it with subpar material.

Posted by: enemyofthestamos at January 21, 2009 10:33 AM

People, relax. He's kidding. Damn his dry Canadian wit.

Posted by: Robert at January 21, 2009 10:46 AM

George Michael wasn't that important, and not all that funny in the grand scheme of things. He can easily be replaced by all around cool guy (and newly minted Bluth family member)...that's right, your friend and mine...STEVE HOLT!

Oh, and as for the fate of GM...he gets eaten by a shark after trying to jump over its fin. Maebe mourns...then goes onto long (incestuously) for Steve Holt. Everything's funny again, and the movie makes $250 mil. domestically, ensuring Arrested Development 2: Michael And Gob Escape from Guadalajara...Again.

Posted by: Mike R. at January 21, 2009 10:49 AM

I think Cera was the weakest link on that show, anyway. That he's the holdout is laughable. Just ship his ass off to boarding school and call it a day.

He's also just way too nerdy for my taste. I want the cutie-pie suave male teen stars of yesteryear. Like Kirk Cameron and Scott Baio.

Posted by: samantha t at January 21, 2009 10:54 AM

In spite of himself, I like the guy. However if he plays the same character in the next movie he's in, Ima starting a boycott.

Posted by: admin at January 21, 2009 10:59 AM

He's obviously kidding. Sheesh.

Posted by: jamiepants at January 21, 2009 11:07 AM

Woo, the winds of change, they are a blowin'.

Sounds like he was joking to me as well. Think about it: he does pretty much play George Michael in everything he has done since, so it can't be that he is sick of the part. It seems more like he is just used to NOT talking about it for so long, and he doesn't want to jinx it.

And it isn't like the other cast members or Hurwitz himself are exactly blaring the news or anything. All of them are playing it quite close to the vest until it is locked down.

Besides, all they have to do is yell at him a lot, and he will cave.

I want the cutie-pie suave male teen stars of yesteryear. Like Kirk Cameron and Scott Baio.

Wow. Really? Suave? That is just....weird.

Posted by: Vermillion at January 21, 2009 11:11 AM

Vermillion - I was being facetious (though I did consider both guys very cute when I was younger).

Posted by: samantha t at January 21, 2009 11:14 AM

Ahhh.....I gotcha. Not so weird then.

Posted by: Vermillion at January 21, 2009 11:21 AM

This dude is one trick all the way.

I ALWAYS said he was a douche...and possibly a terrorist.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 21, 2009 11:45 AM

I loved AD but am not keen on the movie. If they fucked it up I have to hunt Jason Bateman down and gut him like a freshly caught trout. And I really don't want to have to do that.

Posted by: catag at January 21, 2009 11:47 AM

Never much cared for "Arrested Development" and I don't care at all if they ever make a movie, but Cera is much more likable as a prick than the stumbling, stuttering pussies he plays. And isn't he 40 by now? Just because he's got no body hair and his nuts haven't dropped yet doesn't mean he can keep playing 16-year-old twerps.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at January 21, 2009 12:07 PM

Actually Tracer, because he's got no body hair and his nuts haven't dropped yet" is the reason he can keep playing 16 year old twerps.

Posted by: EricD at January 21, 2009 12:28 PM

never mind Tracer, I completely misread what you wrote. I should get glasses.

Posted by: EricD at January 21, 2009 12:30 PM

pennies douchebags from heaven!

but where did the douchebag come from?

Posted by: stopthemadness at January 21, 2009 12:38 PM

So let me get this straight: We skewer actors for doing the same thing over and over again, and we skewer them for NOT wanting to do the same thing over and over again. Is that right? Scathing and bitchy and all that? Just checking.

Posted by: jimbob at January 21, 2009 12:43 PM

Wha? What's with all the Michael Cera hating? How is that even possible? It's like saying you hate a kitten. He may play the same character in all his roles, but that's kind of how comedic actors roll. Think Chris Rock, Chris Farley, Robin Williams, Adam Sandler, etc (not that I'm a fan of all or any of these guys, but you see my point).

Posted by: meghan at January 21, 2009 1:12 PM

Can't say I was a big fan of his on AD. But enjoyed him in SuperBad.

I say take a step back and see if he can pull a new type of character off before throwing the bag of flaiming shit at him.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 21, 2009 1:37 PM


So, am I alone in wanting to lick his hairless taint till he begs me to make him my bitch?

....

Yeah, thought so.

Posted by: Drake at January 21, 2009 1:39 PM

What? He wants to see a script first? How dare he? How DARE he?

Posted by: jd at January 21, 2009 2:09 PM

Butthole!

Posted by: Alli at January 21, 2009 2:35 PM

Never liked him, nor most of the projects he's been involved in (AD being the lone exception, but I don't like him in that, either); never will like him.

Methinks his defenders are afflicted with Cerassis of the brain.

Posted by: Rykker at January 21, 2009 2:55 PM

@ Rykker: *eyeroll* just because you don't like him doesn't mean other people are deluded if they do.

Posted by: Lolita at January 21, 2009 3:13 PM

Lo seinto, Lolita. I'm just a big, dumb ox spouting off at the fingertips. Pay me no mind.

By the way, you're pretty when you roll your eyes like that, how you doin'?

Posted by: Rykker at January 21, 2009 5:27 PM

There are dozens of us! Dozens!

Posted by: nevernude at January 21, 2009 5:45 PM

Aw, I didn't think he was being a dick at all. He's had to talk about the potential of an AD movie for like a year solid, so I think he took it pretty well.

Posted by: K at January 21, 2009 6:00 PM

Youth in Revolt changed. My. Life. My vernacular squeed with every page I turned (and there were a lot of effing pages.) Are the follow-up books any good? Anyone?

Posted by: Sweetie Dahling at January 21, 2009 6:03 PM

It's like he gets off on being with-holding.

Posted by: ben (thpbt) at January 21, 2009 6:07 PM

Ahahah! Awesome, Ben.

Posted by: Loob at January 21, 2009 7:02 PM

ew that's how stupid cera got his start for chrissakes. he's what...20? why doesn't he just do the george michael again for OUR sakes?! i don't care what other movies he's doing, i may or may not see them anyway...

Posted by: ph at January 21, 2009 7:45 PM

Clearly kidding. Do you think, out of all the people involved in that show, he wants to be the one to discuss whether it is or isn't happening? If I were him I would try to find some way of joking about it over and over again every time someone asked me about it, too, so that I wouldn't have to commit to anything or work too hard not to give anything away. It sounded to me like he was saying, "This is still early, folks, no one is sure of anything." and then the MTV guy put the "holdout" words into his mouth.

Posted by: codger at January 21, 2009 7:51 PM

Did I actually read that someone didn't care for AD? Whaaaaaaaaa??????

Posted by: Lisa at January 21, 2009 11:02 PM

geez AD fans are as bad as trekkies

Posted by: johnny at January 22, 2009 4:47 AM

Are you all really giving Michael Cera shit for not being supercool with a fucking MTV reporter?!?!?! If some douche MTV reporter came up to any of you would you pass on the god given obligation to fuck with him??? Would you have preferred a Mylie Cyrus interview with "heck yeah gonna make a great movie with all my awesome co-stars!!!!". Stop being pussies the kid's fucking around and anyone from AD who saw this is probably having a good laugh.

Posted by: Coco Bravo at January 23, 2009 2:03 PM