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January 21, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | January 21, 2009 |

Let the backlash begin! You know, those precocious little child television stars. You’d think by getting tutelage from a Bateman and Opie, the boy’d have learned, but he’s suddenly been swarmed by the pleasant stink of his own farts.

Cera’s been recently signed on to Edgar Wright’s big screen version of the Scott Pilgrim graphic novels, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. I know very little of the series, but it sound pretty goddamn promising. Scott Pilgrim is a Canadian slacker and wannabe rockstar. He falls for American delivery girl Ramona V. Flowers (played by the delicious Mary Elizabeth Winstead — oh, Lucy McLaine) and in order to win her hand, he must battle and kill all of her seven ex-boyfriends, among them at least one half-ninja. In the hands of Edgar Wright, this could be pretty fucking insanely gloriously wonderful.

However, Cera’s essentially decided to light a Roman Candle with his coolness cred and fire it into a crowd of cancer orphans holding puppies. He’s already on my shit list for ruining one movie coming out this year, the adaptation of C.D. Payne’s unfuckinggodly hilarious Youth in Revolt by taking on the starring role of Nick Twisp. Attention Hollywood: stop casting Michael Cera as every fucking teenager from here to eternity. Nick Twisp is convinced he’s debonair, smooth, and swarthy. He’s convinced he’s an intellectual, and is desperate for to bang Sheeni Saunders, goddess of his dreams. This is not Michael Cera. He’s made a fucking career out of playing the polar opposite of that. I don’t need to hear him falsetto-lisping his way through that shit.

But now, supposedly he’s being the lone holdout on the Arrested Development movie. At least until he sees a script, mind you. What? You think I’m overreacting? Here’s a clip of him at MTV. I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt that he’s joking and being sarcastic because he’s annoyed that everyone keeps jamming a microphone and asking if he’ll still be Arnold Drummond…er, George Michael. But dude….he’s reaching into dick territory and ticking the balls:

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Que Cera Cera / Brian Prisco

Industry | January 21, 2009 |

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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