Pajiba

I kind of liked her cover of Tom Waits' "Falling Down", in that if you've never heard the originial, it's still a good song, so she didn't completely ruin it.

I love that she got all art school pretentious with it.
Black and white for NO REASON.
DOUCHE

I have no idea why she’s trying to be a director, honey just sit back, smile, and be beautiful.

Insert my obligatory Scarlett defense here, as I have made it time and time again. Y'all are not nice.

If you wants tittays, there be there internet, which you're already on. If you want acting ability, go somewhere else. ScarJo will only disappoint. She's a one note actress, and that note isn't very good.

Her tits could make a better movie.

Either one, by itself, could make a better movie.

It's the eternal formula: What God giveth in tits, God taketh away in brains.

WHAT DA FUUUUUUUU?!?!?!?

Now Nosek's taking over the fucking site!

I KNEW IT!!!

Scarlett is a producer on an indy movie titled "Napoleon and Betsy." She was originally going to star in it, but it's been "in development" so long that she's now too old for the role. Replaced by Emma Watson.

So if it's never made, will she qualify as "failed producer"?

KC: I kinda shrugged at the idea when I first heard about it. She's not the first actress to believe that Hollywood clout could believably be extrapolated into a music career, or vice versa. If someone gives you the opportunity, why not take it? And I won't even get into the 'unfair advantage' angle. There is no meritocracy, and *I guess* she worked her way up through AN entertainment industry, that's something.

You can look at it in one of two ways: Nothing ventured, nothing gained. It's not an ignoble thing to challenge yourself, and every person gets put in his or her place--so to speak--at some juncture. It wasn't a success, but at least she tried, and hopefully she had fun.

Other option: It takes a lot of damn hubris to expect people to slavishly follow you anywhere you go, because they like you for 'Reason X'. It's a completely different context and capacity. Since we had heard nothing of her musical prowess or interest until after she was handed a record deal, the suddenness of it seemed kind of like a ploy. Oh, well.

People who are more sensitive than I am could reasonably argue that it is a bit insulting to a potential fan base to assume that they won't be able to discern between musical talent(which she very well may have had, no one yet knew) and Indie Lust. And to have a product drop into our laps as suddenly as it did, with seemingly no buildup does little to debunk that notion.

But again, since there is no meritocracy, she's just the latest in a long line of starlets who do the same thing. I don't personally care for the music they make, but since I can't afford a television, I'm not even remotely forced to listen to it. So the malcontents can bray, whilst I enjoy my Bach. Problem solved.

My apathy didn't turn into annoyance until I learned that it was an entire cover album (which I expected, not a big deal) of Tom Waits songs. It isn't even that I can listen to all of the Tom Waits songs in their original form: I already do this.

But the idea of an entire Tom Waits cover album--for a debut, struck me as egregiously cynical. It had the whiff of 'I'm going to go through my 'Authenticity Rolodex', pick the proper and beloved left-of-centre personalities (Bowie on background vocals, though he'll do that for anyone who can pay, Salman Rushdie cameo, Tom Waits songs), and hitch a ride to Credibility Junction.

And since people get really worked up about, and tend to self-identify with the music to which they listen, we read really deeply into what people's musical tastes say about them. Hooray for other people's achievements! If she did a cover album of Boney M songs, that would be entertaining and perplexing. If it were a forty-minute loop of 'Tiptoe Through the Tulips', our brains would seep out of our noses. And so on.

I think this choice was also an action to mollify the naysayers who WOULD assume that because of who she is, and how quickly everything came to fruition, that she wouldn't have any chops. Aligning herself with Waits--I think-- was partly to get the last holdouts to say, 'She's into Tom Waits? She has good taste. Maybe there's more here than I thought.'

I fully assume that she is a Waits fan, because why bother with the endeavour if it's not about someone you enjoy and respect? But you've got to let the right names out. For all we know, her bedroom could second as a shrine to the Gaudi-era Alan Parsons Project, but that's something you keep to yourself. Some would.

As far as attractiveness goes, no one's career in show business has ever failed because he was too good-looking. Errol Flynn was in a ton of shit, but, dang! At least he acknowledged it. I think it was the nature of this particular project, which seemed so calculated and focus-grouped-- is what set people off.

To come back to your question, I agree and disagree in equal parts. No, she probably would not have gotten so much heat if she were someone else. But someone else's attempt at this would still be taking up space on her cousin's hard drive. I think she has a public persona that seriously rankles a lot of people, and it put them off from the start, perhaps unfairly.

But (it's not a perfect comparison, so bear with me), Zooey Deschanels seems to have a much higher Q-Rating, and if nothing else, I think it helped her when it came to critical adulation. Granted, she does have a songwriting role in her collaborations with M. Ward, so there are kudos for her in that regard. And being engaged to Ben Gibbard must help, why waste the resource? Wait, yeah I totally just forgot his name. Is that it? I'm such a space cadet.

But whoever was responsible for the final product was really, really savvy. The music seemed to dovetail with the idea of Zooey that we have. Quirky, indie, Manic Pixie Dream Girl, cutie-pie, twee, off-beat, but I guess, endearingly so? I don't know, who can afford movies? I don't get out much, so I could be off. But even the name of the band bears that reputation out: She and Him. Also, she's not in the public eye as much as Scarlett, either. There's something legitimate to be said for just being sick of that chick's ubiquity.

I guess it's because I'm a musician, but musicianship aside, when this wasn't old news and I remembered that I don't care about anything that doesn't have toffee on it, I found it somewhat distasteful that straight out of the gate, she's cheating off of someone else's exam. No matter how innovative we get, 'A Fifth of Beethoven' is exactly that, for example.

I think I would have a different response if this exact album came out after some original efforts. She could assert herself, forge a style, learn (about) her strengths, and build a musical following and identity of her own. Listeners could hold onto it, or discard at our own leisure. True, the odds are stacked celebrities when it comes to this crossover. Not every celebrity act can be as transcendent as The Fur-Burger Mongers, or the Boxmasters, but suck it up. You sign on for the ups, you're signing up for the downs. If this wasn't meant to be a one-off (maybe it was, I don't know things), I think she did a real disservice to herself by taking this route.

There. I've tried to be fair-minded and thoughtful about a response to a legitimate question. But I'm getting all tight in the chestal region, so I have to let it out.

Shallow Jo: I fucking despise this woman. Face like a bowl of pudding and the thespian skills to match. Woody Allen kept telling her she was the most special-est girl in the world, and now even he's sick of her (Cannes, anyone?)

Shallower: Where the fuck are these tits everyone raves about? People need to get out of Hollywood. I think a setting populated mostly by 'Sick Little Boy Syndrome' has skewed their perceptions.

It's like Family Guy, you're going to expand? Do you think it's wise? Don't you think you should tend to the burning fire that is your original creation before diversifying? But that's just personal opinion.

The only thing I have any authority in judging would be her singing voice. I didn't hear much of it, because I stuck that poor weasel in a fan belt to cover up the noise.

I'm a bad person, fine.