Listen. This is not what you think it is. This is not an excuse for me to pile rip into Scarlett Johansson. I was sort of mortified a few years back when the whole site seemed to be hell bent on tearing apart Katherine Heigl. Consistently ragging on a stranger (which is what these actors are, let's remember) does seem awfully catty and bitter and uncalled for. But here are the facts as I see them. Scarlett Johansson is an astoundingly beautiful woman. Just, otherworldly. She is also completely mediocre as an actress. She's been trading on her looks for her entire career. And that's fine, that's part of the game. And, at least, unlike the wooden January Jones, Johansson doesn't ruin projects she's a part of. So, that's nice. I'm really trying to be fair here. How am I doing?
Johansson may be brilliant and clever but I don't personally think she's director material. Actors behind the camera have a notoriously spotty track record. And even those who are considered thunderously successful aren't, well, brilliant. Ron Howard? Academy Award winning director? His name doesn't excite me when I see it in the credits. Jon Favreau? Well Swingers is fantastic. Iron Man was pretty great (my opinion, not yours) but the rest? For me? Meh. So the idea of Scarlett Johansson directing a Truman Capote novella fills me with, well, resigned indifference. It's going to be awful, I'm certain. She's only being allowed to do it because she is a mega rich, crazy famous actress. And, in my opinion, she's only those things because she's gorgeous. If the disgustingly talented Vincent D'Onofrio produced THIS as his directorial debut, imagine how sh*tty Johansson's first effort could be.