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Your Friends May Get Me in a Rush, But Not Before I Make Your Head Into a Canoe

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (24)

tombstone.jpg

Uh oh. Sam Raimi’s moving away from horror films again. Bad things can happen when he does that.

Although… it’s a western, and as a somewhat shameful fan of the bizarre The Quick and the Dead, I’m not opposed to the idea. Slashfilm is announcing that Raimi is attached to direct the Wyatt Earp re-imagining Earp: Saints and Sinners. Based on the short comic series from Radical Comics, which specializes in re-tellings of the stories of famous historical figures, frequently with a sci-fi bent to them.

Earp: Saints and Sinners is described as being “set in a future in which he takes on outlaws in a ravaged society where the only boomtown left is Las Vegas.” So, kind of The Postman with more gunplay? Or perhaps Waterworld on dry land? Or… I better shut up before Costner catches wind of this. Then he’ll want to use his shitty country band on the soundtrack. Incidentally, before the demise of Pajiba Music, I downloaded that album (Kevin Costner and the Modern West) to review it. Here’s a quick capsule review:

It blows lemur cock.

Anyway, back to the movie. I don’t know how I feel about this. On the one hand, there are already 2.5 iconic, brilliant films about Wyatt Earp — Tombstone, Gunfight at the OK Corral, and Wyatt Earp (that one’s the half). And if you want to make a futuristic Western, be my guest — but why bother having the famous lawman’s name attached? Oh, right, because if we’ve learned one thing about futuristic Westerns, it’s that no one gives a fuck about them (even if they’re fucking brilliant), so we’ll need a famous name to get people in the theaters.

On the other hand, it could be wildly entertaining. Raimi restored some of my faith with Drag Me to Hell, and now that he’s off the sinking Spider-Man ship, I’m hoping he’ll get some of his mojo back. I dunno.

All I know is, you’re never gonna get a better Doc Holliday than Val Kilmer’s. Ever.

(source: Slashfilm)









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Comments

It blows lemur cock

How lewd.

While Raimi did indeed restore some measure of good will with Drag Me To Hell he's got a long way to go before he'll get my faith again.

Posted by: admin at July 20, 2010 10:50 AM

You know what westerns had a lot of? Player pianos.
You know what player pianos lead to? Dance numbers.

I'm not sayin'. I'm just sayin'.

Posted by: branded at July 20, 2010 10:56 AM

It'd be more futuristic if it was called Erp.
In a "ravaged future" vowels would be expensive.

Posted by: clocker at July 20, 2010 11:07 AM

"Wyatt Earp" is one thing, but when you say "Earp" it just sounds like you have gas.

EARP

Posted by: Paul Southworth at July 20, 2010 11:11 AM

You're no daisy! You're no daisy at all. Poor soul, you were just too high strung. It would appear that the strain was more than he could bear.
(for clarification, I don't know what video is up there, cause I can't see it at work...but DAMN I loved him as Doc!)

Posted by: dammitjanet at July 20, 2010 11:19 AM

To be futuristic you'd have to call it "iRp". And he'd have to carry an "iPeaceMaker" made by "iColt".

Posted by: lubeg at July 20, 2010 11:21 AM

i know i'm in the minority here (minority of one, most likely) but does this mean the warcraft movie is getting pushed back?

Posted by: Sinnh at July 20, 2010 11:25 AM

This only works if you get Timothy Olyphant to play Wyatt Earp, Alex Skarsgard as Doc Holliday and nix the entire Dana Delany subplot from Tombstone.

Posted by: Fredo at July 20, 2010 11:41 AM

I like the way you think, Fredo. Anything that puts Olyphant in a cowboy hat, boots and a duster, with a gun, makes me warm in my happy place

Posted by: dammitjanet at July 20, 2010 11:51 AM

I have two guns, one for each of ya.

Posted by: gordo at July 20, 2010 11:59 AM

For a minute I thought he was adapting Black Hats which also deals with Wyatt Earp, only it's a 70 year old Earp who crosses paths with a young Al Capone.

Posted by: John W at July 20, 2010 12:00 PM

"All I know is, you’re never gonna get a better Doc Holliday than Val Kilmer’s. Ever."

So I take it you've never seen "Gunfight at the OK Corral" then? Because I'll see your your Val Kilmer and raise you one kick-ass Kirk Douglas Mr. Rowles.

Posted by: PaddyDog at July 20, 2010 1:02 PM

Oops. Just realized that TK wrote this, and really TK, I expect better of you. Tsk tsk!

Posted by: PaddyDog at July 20, 2010 1:41 PM

Hey now. I've seen Gunfight at the OK Corral (as I mentioned in the post), and I adore Kirk Douglas. I just think Kilmer's is more memorable.

thpppt!

Posted by: TK at July 20, 2010 1:43 PM

Rowles is right. Val Kilmer's Doc Holliday got me stated smoking, just to TRY to be that cool.

Never worked.

Posted by: AmbroseKalifornia at July 20, 2010 1:51 PM

The Gift
A Simple Plan
For Love of the Game
Spider-Man
Spider-Man 2

'Nuff said.

Posted by: RobP at July 20, 2010 2:07 PM

I'm your huckleberry.

Posted by: figgy at July 20, 2010 2:52 PM

I saw figgy's quote and immediately wanted to correct her. So I went on IMDB just to be sure and, well, it showed me she was correct. I could have sworn (I would have bet a finger on it...glad I didn't) that the line was "I'll be your Huckleberry." Huh.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at July 20, 2010 3:13 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cUnXWNO17s

I really would have bet a finger too.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at July 20, 2010 3:17 PM

not that its got any more giddy-up than kilmer's, but quaid's Doc seemed about the only good thing 'bout ol' costner's version(,and their may have been some titties somewheres in there); found 'em both them holidays right nice

Posted by: furtherbeyond at July 20, 2010 4:13 PM

Tombstone contains maybe my favorite movie gaff EVER. In the scene where Wyatt runs into the rain, freaking out? You can see where the rain machine stops spewing fake rain. There's like a 10 ft circle around Wyatt, and the rest of the street is dry. It's hilarious.

Agreed on Kilmer's Holiday. "It's true you are a good woman. Then again, you may be the Antichrist."

Posted by: SavageCats at July 20, 2010 6:09 PM

Hello SavageCats, You forgot the three shots Val gets from a double barrel shotgun during the OK Corall shootout! Jeeeez,I do have a lot of time on my hands!

Posted by: Bob Gould at July 20, 2010 9:03 PM

The movie is so flawed yet I can't help watching it every time it comes on. The guy who played Ike Clanton shoula got more work outta it.

If you're a fan, don't go to the real Tombstone. Sad.

Posted by: Protoguy at July 20, 2010 11:40 PM

Sometimes, I forget that Val Kilmer is a hell of an actor.

Posted by: Spender at July 22, 2010 3:26 PM