web counter
 

Sadly, Number Five Is Alive: In The Battle To Decide Who Will Direct The Short Circuit Remake, Nobody Wins

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (12)

shortcircuit6.jpg

I have fond memories of Short Circuit, the silly little robot movie from 1986 that captured moviegoers’ hearts. I have the sneaky suspicion that it wouldn’t hold up particularly well, mainly due to the Steve Guttenberg factor, but that’s OK. For those who’ve never seen Short Circuit, well, I feel bad for you and you should remedy that before you die. Meaning you should see it soon. It’s a lovely little piece of 80’s sweetness that starred Wall*E’s idiot uncle, and it’s awesome. Anyway, it may not hold up over time, but I’m willing to leave it in a nostalgic little corner of my brain.

Except that Dimension films doesn’t care about our nostalgic memories and the kinder, gentler times from yesteryear. No, they’re remaking Short Circuit — with extreme fucking prejudice. They’re trying to settle on which soul-selling, godawful, spawn of Satan’s mouth-breathing halfwit cousin will direct it, and the list is… not pretty.

Deadline is reporting that Dimension originally signed Steve Carr to direct the film, back when they picked up the rights in 2009. Carr is the mastermind behind films like Daddy Day Care and Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Apparently, Carr isn’t quite shitty enough, however, and they’ve moved on to Tim Hill, director of Alvin and the Chipmunks and Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties.

GET IT? THEY SAID KITTIES INSTEAD OF CITIES AND EVERYBODY KILL YOURSELF.

Oh, Number Five. You did nothing to deserve this.









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← The News Of The Demise Of "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" Has Been Greatly Exaggerated | The Teen Choice Awards and How Today's Teenagers Really Aren't That Much Dumber than Teenagers in 1992 →









Comments

Second good robot-centric movie of the 80's: Batteries Not Included. Possibly one of the better movies of the 80's, period.

Yay I'm sure they'll load this one up with fart jokes or fat jokes or maybe somebody will get kicked in the nuts. It'll be awesome.

Posted by: twig at August 8, 2011 11:08 AM

Andrew Stanton would be perfect for this.

Posted by: The Kilted Yaksman at August 8, 2011 11:11 AM

Why? Short Circuit and its sequel are quintessentially 80s. They don't fit in our worldview.

Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Posted by: Fredo at August 8, 2011 11:13 AM

But, but, but... Robots can't fart, can't get fat, and Johnny 5's treads make falling down difficult. How can they... wait, NO!!! They're going to give the robot a penis - like "tool" or "probe", aren't they!?

Posted by: J Byrd at August 8, 2011 11:15 AM

DISASSEMBLE!!!

Posted by: Kargoyle at August 8, 2011 12:08 PM

NOOOOO!!! Just leave this one in the Eighties, you fucking monsters!!!

Posted by: Kala at August 8, 2011 12:16 PM

They remade Short Circuit and it sucked. It was called Wall-E and it was an R-Rated horror film mysteriously shown to children, who remain scarred to this day.

WE HAVE HAD THIS CONVERSATION PEOPLE. EVERYBODY ALREADY LOST. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN YOOOOUU WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Nadine at August 8, 2011 12:28 PM

Who's Johnny she said
and smiled in that special way

I watched it recently and realised that not only was the racially-insensitive Indian stereotype not played by an Indian but a white fella in make-up, but also, it was Fisher fucking Stevens.

Posted by: Ballymena Bob at August 8, 2011 1:54 PM

"Her pants are blazing for you!"

Posted by: BWeaves at August 8, 2011 2:21 PM

Holy Crap! I just realized that they re-used Johnny 5's head for Wall-E. Lends more credence to that HH "Wall-E: The Cannibal Years" thing.

Spooky.

Posted by: NateS1973 at August 8, 2011 3:42 PM

I am standing here beside myself!

Posted by: Leftylad at August 9, 2011 3:14 AM

On the plus side; Ally Sheedy won't be dancing with no damn robots.

On the minus; someone probably will. I see breakdancing. Or Crunking. Someone's going to continue to push that seizure-masquerading-as-art on us again

Posted by: Protoguy at August 9, 2011 5:58 AM