By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (69)
(H/T Just Jared and all the people who keep sending me these, you’re going to trigger the restraining order)
Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance
← Bride of Frankenstein Remake | Teen Wolf Remake →
Posted by: sansho1 at June 18, 2009 10:20 AM
But why is he so orange?
Posted by: Carrie at June 18, 2009 10:20 AM
Didn't see that coming.
Carrie, Canadians turn orange when they live in the US for too long. It's due to a lack of maple syrup and poutine in their diets. We have to return once every three years or else we turn into self bronzing Jersey-douches. It is known as The Great White Pilgrimage.
Posted by: admin at June 18, 2009 10:24 AM
I don't know about you, people, but in my brain it goes "Reynolds, ergo, Dustin." Now I can't fully appeciate RyRy, but Dustin's stock is going up.
Posted by: Sofía at June 18, 2009 10:28 AM
Yummy but he's getting a little skinny. Eat a hamburger!
Anyone else think it's weird that ScarJo and Ryan are never in the same state? picture? event?
Posted by: amanda47 at June 18, 2009 10:32 AM
Then he needs to return stat, because it's putting me off. :)
Posted by: Carrie at June 18, 2009 10:37 AM
Shit, if I made love to that, his hipbones would slice me in half.
Would the orange skin color rub off on me? Is it racist if I say that about a white guy?
Posted by: BWeaves at June 18, 2009 10:37 AM
I thank my lucky stars for that every day, amanda47, since I'm not a fan of vomiting. And I'm pretty sure seeing a picture of those two even in the same room would send Dustin into hysterics.
Posted by: Kolby at June 18, 2009 10:38 AM
Those aren't hipbones. Those are obliques. Yum.
Posted by: Kolby at June 18, 2009 10:40 AM
You're Welcome, Ladies
Don't you mean, "You're Welcome, Self"?
Dude does nothing for me, frankly.
Posted by: Cindy at June 18, 2009 10:43 AM
Abtastic.
Posted by: Slash at June 18, 2009 10:46 AM
This morning at Jezebel I read the phrase "Cum Gutters" in reference to those very hipbones/obliques.
Also, Dustin, "for the ladies" is very sweet but you do know you don't have to pretend with us, right?
Posted by: AdaHaze at June 18, 2009 10:46 AM
Yeah, I'm just going to stare for a while.
Posted by: Nicole at June 18, 2009 10:50 AM
You're Welcome, Ladies
Bitch, please. I saw that cover an hour ago and thought "3-2-1-Dustin".
And some ad or other appears to really be fucking up the page loading. Don't know if that's fixable or not.
There's a Dana Torres Milk ad now and her torso looks about the same. Sad pants, as they say.
Posted by: Jay at June 18, 2009 10:56 AM
Maaaan the time difference spins me OUT, 'thursday morning surprise'
I'm heading for 4pm and 5 (CLOSIN TIMMME) cant come quick enough. I could climb back into bed already.
Though not with Ryan... He's pretty and all but he looks like a bottle of fanta.
Plus I have to be one of THOSE girlfriends and say quite honestly that he does nothing for me like my feller does =D
But I'mjust saying that cus I like saying it cos I'm all lovey dovey today, heh
Posted by: Nadine at June 18, 2009 10:57 AM
Isn't it just fantastic that after five years of Pajiba, my legacy will basically be: "That dude with the mancrush on Ryan Reynolds."
I brought it on myself.
But how could I resist?
Posted by: Dustin Rowles at June 18, 2009 11:03 AM
This is the guy who wears more foundation in public than whichever girl he's with, right?
Yeah. That's so hawt! Nawt.
Posted by: Tarn at June 18, 2009 11:06 AM
Plus I have to be one of THOSE girlfriends and say quite honestly that he does nothing for me like my feller does =D
But I'mjust saying that cus I like saying it cos I'm all lovey dovey today, heh
That's good to hear. We don't just know that, you know.
Posted by: Jay at June 18, 2009 11:06 AM
It looks like his muscles are eating his arm bones in the second picture. He used to be all buff and shit. Now his arms and head look like they are photoshopped onto his torso. Weird.
Posted by: Kballs at June 18, 2009 11:07 AM
Posted by: Dustin Rowles at June 18, 2009 11:03 AM
Well, yes, that will be a major component. I'd also like to think that you broadened our vulgar vocabularies as well. Butthole.
Posted by: branded at June 18, 2009 11:08 AM
Personally Dustin, I'm glad you couldn't resist. Your man-crush on the Abtastic Mr. Reynolds only makes me appreciate Pajiba all the more.
Keep those shirtless pictures comin' fella.
Posted by: Kelly at June 18, 2009 11:08 AM
*shakes head*
Duuuuuuude.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at June 18, 2009 11:09 AM
Well, I for one thank you, Dustin. I needed that. I think he's just lovely and honestly half the orange is probably airbrushed anyway and it's not the worst orange I've ever seen on some of the starlets and I love that hip thing, obliques, whatever and it's so miserable here weather wise and I'm crabby and tired because I seem to have woken up with a stupid EAR INFECTION like who gets an ear infection at 38 years old for gods sake so I really needed this little pick me up so thank you.
Also, did Jay just say, "Bitch, please."? Hee. Hee hee hee hee hee. Hee.
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at June 18, 2009 11:11 AM
Well Jay that's why I have to tell you!
ALso, Dustin, Aint nothing wrong with a man crush.
Especially not on Reynolds, you cant really resist the man.
No one can.
Posted by: Nadine at June 18, 2009 11:15 AM
Anna, tomake you feel better, imagine that you're curled up warm in bed and Ryan is there with you, bringing you medicine and soup and generally being lovely and sweet to you.
Posted by: Nadine at June 18, 2009 11:18 AM
"Canadians turn orange when they live in the US for too long. It's due to a lack of maple syrup and poutine in their diets. We have to return once every three years or else we turn into self bronzing Jersey-douches. It is known as The Great White Pilgrimage."
Sadly, this missed the window of opportunity for the EEs. That fucking gem right there would've won in an avalanche of... uh.
Not sure how to end that sentence...
Posted by: Skitz at June 18, 2009 11:20 AM
Skitz, I want to add 'something sticky' but ...that might take this into ...R- Rated territory
Also, Anna, imagine Ryan...and....maple syrup
Posted by: Nadine at June 18, 2009 11:24 AM
Mmmm.. Ryan and soup and maple syrup in bed. Sounds like last weekend! (Well, the dream I had last weekend...)
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at June 18, 2009 11:26 AM
Well Jay that's why I have to tell you!
No, I mean the boyfriends don't necessarily know that kind of thing.
Posted by: Jay at June 18, 2009 11:30 AM
Anna, you fiend! I love it, hehee!
He DOES look such an unnatural colour that it must surely be painted on after the shoot. That or the bitch needs to slow down on the old sunny delight
Posted by: Nadine at June 18, 2009 11:31 AM
You dont?
That makes me sad!! Genuinely, you tell us all the time we're beautiful and you....aaaaw guys!!
WOMEN!!! We must tell our men they are more beautiful and fun to look at than any poster hunk can ever be!! If...if of course thats true...
Posted by: Nadine at June 18, 2009 11:34 AM
And here I was thinking he looked dipped in Tang because I use a cheapo monitor.
I had no idea Canadians had to return to the Motherland every few years to retain their natural coloring. So they're more like flamingos than salmon, I guess. Although he doesn't seem to be spawning either....
Posted by: Wednesday at June 18, 2009 11:36 AM
Even though he married ScarJo, I can't take him off my five freebies. He's too pretty. And he has eight-pack abs.
Posted by: battgirl at June 18, 2009 11:38 AM
Ryan Reynold is very sexy from the shoulders up (or in a tux, yes indeed).
But I find those uber-sixpack abs on movie stars kind of weird looking. They're all lumpy and bulgy, and they remind me of the underside of a turtle. I like just regular old torsos - not a huge beer gut, but not looking like alien slugs are going to burst through the skin and eat me.
Ladies, can I get a witness?
Posted by: marya at June 18, 2009 11:46 AM
...right there would've won in an avalanche of... uh.
Can boobies avalanche?
Posted by: admin at June 18, 2009 11:57 AM
Ewww...orange and looking a little manorexic to me. Plus, I reckon he'd totally hog the mirror.
Posted by: Lisa S at June 18, 2009 11:58 AM
Marya: I agree. I prefer toned, but not lumpy.
Posted by: BWeaves at June 18, 2009 11:59 AM
No, really. Why is he so orange? I thought it was like a sunburn joke for the first 2 pictures, but then he just kept on being orange.
Also, when did his face get so skinny? He doesn't look like him.
Posted by: Sharon at June 18, 2009 12:00 PM
Ok - the dude is totally hot! So, why the photoshop overdo from hell then? Just because you have photoshop doesn't mean you have to use it! Sheesh!
I hate these covers that make the people on them look plastic!
Grrr!
Sorry, HUGE pet peeve of mine!
Posted by: trixie at June 18, 2009 12:22 PM
Well, yes, that will be a major component. I'd also like to think that you broadened our vulgar vocabularies as well. Butthole.
Indeed. Motherfucker.
I think the last one is the best pic.
Posted by: Melissa at June 18, 2009 12:26 PM
I swear I can see the top of Dustin's head in those first two pics
Posted by: L.O.V.E. at June 18, 2009 12:29 PM
Like Dustin isn't getting his jollies from seeing this.
Nice abs, but his face looks really thin. He needs a sandwich.
Posted by: Brie at June 18, 2009 12:36 PM
And L.O.V.E. just dropped the hammer!
All further comments will come up short to this simple brilliance.
Posted by: Kballs at June 18, 2009 12:36 PM
I'm with ya, marya. Toned is nice. Body building - eh.
Posted by: Cindy at June 18, 2009 12:43 PM
Duuuuuuude.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at June 18, 2009 11:09 AM
---
See, that's where you're wrong.
Duuuuuuuude look like a lady.
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 18, 2009 1:12 PM
All I can say is, at least they didn't wax him. I like my men a little fuzzy.
Posted by: Treena at June 18, 2009 1:15 PM
YES. I saw this last night on Jezebel, and I was *this* close to sending it over when I realized that, come on, you would've been the first to see it AND own all four covers. And this definitely makes up for that Shia LeBarf monstrosity from yesterday. I love your legacy, Dustin. It gives Pajiba that special taste of the surreal.
God, he looks good. And I've tried to resist his charm but. God. I think the orange is on purpose. He's supposed to look like an overtanned surfer dude.
Treena: me too. I think it makes him look so...manly. Rawr.
This is too much information, and maybe you don't want to hear it, but fuck it, I'm gonna say it: I want to lick his stomach.
Posted by: figgy at June 18, 2009 1:28 PM
That last one has effectively ended my ability to work today.
Posted by: Julie at June 18, 2009 1:29 PM
Unfortunately, the last one makes me think that he's wondering why it's water that's splashing all over his face, opposed to other fluids.
*runs*
Posted by: admin at June 18, 2009 1:36 PM
OK what the hell is wrong with his right arm in the second one? It's all skinny and underfed, like he's Popeye.
Posted by: figgy at June 18, 2009 1:38 PM
You know when you've been Tango'd!
Whoever gets the reference will get a special prize.
Happy Ryan Reynolds day everyone!
Posted by: M at June 18, 2009 1:50 PM
You're Welcome, Ladies
Don't make us enablers to your disease, Rowles.
But in an astounding note, it seems I would eat brussel sprouts off of Mr. Reynold's abs. And I fucking hate brussel sprouts.
Fucking turd of a vegetable.
Posted by: Kayanne at June 18, 2009 1:53 PM
Good to know that the Photoshop of Horrors treatment isn't limited to female celebs who are perfectly attractive on their own. Ive seen the recent premiere pictures and he doesn't look like that in person. Way to go EW for turning the formerly smokin hot into tanorexic anorexic. Even the wet and clingy shirt (which I so appreciated in Amityville) isn't helping me here.
Posted by: MG at June 18, 2009 2:20 PM
M - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1jywlZG74o Amazing ad. A friend of mine got barred from one of our favourite clubs once for "Tango-ing" a bouncer. Totally worth it.
And L.O.V.E., all I can say is "brava"! That got a good cackle out of me.
Posted by: Shay at June 18, 2009 2:22 PM
Abs are over-rated. Don't get me wrong, they look good, but I don't want my dude turning down beer, pizza or lovin' cause he's babysitting his giant abs.
All I need is muscular arms and shoulders and I am drooling.
Posted by: grinder at June 18, 2009 2:57 PM
Shay, your super-duper fabulous prize is on its way. Here is a hint; it may or may not be a can of Tango.
Also, poor bouncer, you swine! (;
Posted by: M at June 18, 2009 3:31 PM
He looks better in clothes than out of it. He looks too skinny now. And airbrushed.
Posted by: dene at June 18, 2009 3:49 PM
Even though he married ScarJo, I can't take him off my five freebies. He's too pretty. And he has eight-pack abs.
Posted by: battgirl at June 18, 2009 11:38 AM
So now Dustin is using a pseudonym to post on his own site?
Thanks for the shout out Kballs and Shay. Wow, that sounds like the name of one of those wacky morning radio shows. Kballs and Shay in the Morning.
Posted by: L.O.V.E. at June 18, 2009 3:52 PM
Enough already!
Posted by: Carolina Girl at June 18, 2009 4:23 PM
never enough!!!
Posted by: figgy at June 18, 2009 6:21 PM
Its never enough...
Posted by: L.O.V.E. at June 18, 2009 7:18 PM
Bless you, Rowles. I’ve had a huge headache all day, and then I come to Pajiba and find the delicious Mr. Reynolds. He is looking a little thin and orange here, but he’s still more than a little nice to look at. *sighs*
--------
Even the wet and clingy shirt (which I so appreciated in Amityville) isn't helping me here.
Christ, he was hot in the Amityville remake. Try this MG.
Posted by: Groovy Violet at June 18, 2009 7:30 PM
Did anyone else hear that?
The million men hitting the gym after seeing this?
No?
Just me then - carry on.
Posted by: Seraf at June 18, 2009 7:53 PM
Wow, that sounds like the name of one of those wacky morning radio shows. Kballs and Shay in the Morning.
I reckon we sound more like a wacky crime-fighting duo, but that's just me...
Shay, your super-duper fabulous prize is on its way. Here is a hint; it may or may not be a can of Tango.
Also, poor bouncer, you swine! (;
Aw! I wanted a pony! Seriously though, no pity for the bouncer - he was 6'3" and built like a brick shithouse. She's about 5'5" and noticably not built like any sort of large stone-based crapatorium. He was absolutely fine, just a tad miffed.
Posted by: Shay at June 18, 2009 8:15 PM
In that case Shay, I take my sympathy back. Damn bouncer.
Oh no! The pony was my second choice! But I've already sent out the Tango. Sorry.
Groovy Violet, that video...thank you...must go now. Need to be alone. I'm doing my taxes. *shifty eyes*
Posted by: M at June 18, 2009 9:29 PM
Right click, save as.
Posted by: Sarah at June 18, 2009 9:50 PM
He's Orange... and Skinny....
Just Get out Dustin, GET OUT!
Posted by: RonnyK at June 19, 2009 12:04 AM
Meh. He looks way less hot here than in Blade Trilogy.
Posted by: io at June 19, 2009 6:15 AM
Yeah nice. But how about appearing in a good movie again for a change?
Posted by: Arthur Dent at June 20, 2009 9:22 PM
Shirtless, yes. Surprise, hardly.