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More Morbid than Pet Deaths? How About Being Buried Alive?


R-Squared Finds his Next Role / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | June 25, 2009 | Comments (24)


First off, let me apologize for last night’s comment diversion. Clearly, I was out of my mind with delirium by that time last night — the Baynis had gotten to me, and all the eye strain had done something to my head. That was weirdly morbid so, you know, stay tuned for next week, when we do a diversion on the most traumatic relative deaths! (Although, for many of you, I understand that’d be easier than last night’s diversion).

Anyway, aside from the fact that Transformers II made $55 fucking million in its first day (plus midnight screenings), things are looking up this morning. And for those of you tired of hearing about R-Squared, that’s too goddamn bad. The man has signed on to another film, and it is our duty to report it.

So, you’d think that after a flashy role in the (terrible) blockbuster Wolverine and a leading man role in last weekend’s top film, The Proposal, that Ryan Reynolds would attach himself to the first huge franchise to come down the pipeline.

No sir. And this is why Mr. Reynolds’ expiration date may still be a very long way off: He’s signed on to to an indie film. In Spain. For well-respected (but unknown in the States) Spanish director Rodrigo Cortes. The movie is called Buried and it’s dark and gritty, folks. It’s about a civilian contractor who’s kidnapped in Iraq and awakens buried in a coffin in the desert, armed only with a cell phone, a candle and a knife.

Of course, that also means it’s like a one-mans show, where Reynolds will get a chance to show off his actressin’. I hope it’s bearded Reynolds — it’s my favorite. According to Variety, he “decided to go the indie route as a way to stretch his acting chops in a movie with a claustrophobic premise, and one in which he holds the screen through most of the picture.”

Respect.


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Comments

$71 million? For toy robots? Jeesh.

(Apologies. $55 million -- DR)

Posted by: ed newman at June 25, 2009 9:38 AM

I hope it’s bearded Reynolds — it’s my favorite.

As dreamy as that one is, my heart will forever belong to the pantsless Ryan Reynolds of Van Wilder. Beards are okay, but how do you say no to pantslessness?

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at June 25, 2009 9:48 AM

scarlett's going to put a restraining order out on you, dustin.

Posted by: gem at June 25, 2009 9:51 AM

I'm not severely claustrophobic, but I can get pretty antsy in a crowded plane or a backseat after a few hours, which tells me that I'd be worthless in contemporary submarines or spacecraft, despite my craving otherwise to travel in them. See also my fear of drowning and/or suffocation.

Interesting premise, but probably too shuddery for me.

Rodrigo Cortes is, obviously, a fantastic name.

Posted by: Jay at June 25, 2009 9:54 AM

Respect, indeed. It might just be rampant ego that makes an actor want all the screen time for himself; but it's a hell of a gamble regardless.

I expect he'll acquit himself admirably. I just wonder if anyone will see it.

Posted by: Jerce at June 25, 2009 9:56 AM

But will he be shirtless while freaking out in the coffin?

Posted by: agent bedhead at June 25, 2009 10:05 AM

And if the coffin is to small to move, how do you get the shirt over your head?

Troublesome logistics..

How about a comment diversion about your favorite way to kill a reviewer?

"Death bij Bay film's a la Clockwork Orange"

Posted by: Magiel at June 25, 2009 10:11 AM

My favorite part of this new movie is gonna be when I dig him up and save him, and then we make out and he leaves Boring Tits McGhee to be my bestie boyfriend.
And then we kill Heigl (by staging an awards show accident) together as a bonding experience.

Can't wait for you guys to see it!

Posted by: tf breakher at June 25, 2009 10:12 AM

That sounds like my kind of movie, RyRey or no.

Posted by: lizzieborden at June 25, 2009 10:14 AM

Rodrigo Cortes is, obviously, a fantastic name.

Is that the guy in the Dos Equis commercials?

Props to Mr. Reynolds for taking on a challenging roll when he could just as easily phone it in on the next big pile that Hollywood squeezes out.

He's Canadian, that's how we roll. Unless you're Eugene Levy.

Posted by: admin at June 25, 2009 10:14 AM

How can people buy this premise if R-squared is the lead?

Wouldn't one flex of his mighty abs free him from the coffin?

Posted by: David McTaintwaffle at June 25, 2009 10:15 AM

At least he won't have much opportunity to rip off Bill Murray as Peter Venkman in this role.

Posted by: Jacques at June 25, 2009 10:24 AM

Bearded RyRey is my favorite too.

Posted by: tamatha at June 25, 2009 10:32 AM

Wouldn't one flex of his mighty abs free him from the coffin?

No, no, no. There could be women and children standing above him. The mighty eruption could claim the lives of innocents and therefore Ry-Ry must maintain a constant vigil on his Herculean strengf.

Love the handle, by the way.

Posted by: admin at June 25, 2009 10:47 AM

He's ScarJo's beard? I'm kinda confused about how that works ...

Anyhoo, I won't at all be surprised when R2D1 turns up at the top of the ManFreebies list, cause the fix is obviously in like an Iranian election.

Yes, I said it: The Fix is in.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 25, 2009 10:54 AM

Is he the guy who's hooking up with hot models on ___BigTalls.com___ ? actually there're lots sexy people there, Online chat, blogs, forums, flirtation and messages! Start an May-December romance just a click away! Whether for heat or passion, you are gonna be surprised what you might be end with!!LOL :-)

Posted by: Pattyly at June 25, 2009 10:59 AM

I love how the header picture on this one is so very similar to the header on the post below. They both have the same general expression on their face, but are looking in opposite directions. Amusing.

Posted by: Snath at June 25, 2009 11:17 AM

get away from ryry, spambot, and go back to langella!!!

Posted by: tf breakher at June 25, 2009 11:23 AM

FINALLY! I've been waiting for him to do a serious drama for so long. I'm so excited!

Posted by: ChristianH at June 25, 2009 11:43 AM

R2D1 strikes again!

You would've won more points with a shirtless pic, Dustin. Just sayin'.

Posted by: figgy at June 25, 2009 12:30 PM

I don't know if Mr. Ab-flexor deserves my respect or not, but the premise is certainly interesting. I would freak the fuck out. Does he have matches or a lighter as well?

Posted by: Cindy at June 25, 2009 12:33 PM

Sorry admin, I did seriously underestimate the power of R2's abs. I wouldn't want any innocent women or children getting hurt.

Posted by: David McTaintwaffle at June 25, 2009 1:36 PM

Yeah, I had to completely avoid last night's diversion, and I'm very glad I did. There's enough morbid news today anyway.

Posted by: oaklandcat at June 25, 2009 8:21 PM

well if my current girlfriend dies on me i'm quite willing to be buried alive with her beside me.

Posted by: Utah Dynamo at June 26, 2009 8:25 AM