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Hey! Let's Ruin Another Movie with Unecessary Technology

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (34)



RogerRabbit5.jpg

Sometime over the next two days — I’m not going to say when, exactly — I’m going to completely make up a trade item. The remakes, the reboots, and the sequels have gotten so absurd, that absolutely nothing is out of the question anymore. So, keep on the lookout for a completely fabricated news item — see if you can detect which one it is.

This one is not it. MTV recently spoke to Robert Zemeckis, who has done something remarkable of late. While everyone else is managing with computer animation, special effects, and 3D technology to make their movies look prettier and prettier, Zemeckis has developed a way to make money by making his movies look like shitty video games. I speak, of course, of Beowulf and Polar Express and the upcoming The Christmas Carol, starring Jim Carrey as Scrooge and the three Ghosts. Those films are just flat-out ugly.

But, Zemeckis is some pioneer of sorts, and with his brain wrapped around this new technology, he’s starting to think of other ways he can apply it. Here’s your answer: This week, in an interview with MTV, he stated (via ComingSoon):

Talk of a “Roger Rabbit” sequel has been going on since the film originally hit theaters, but now it appears closer than ever. Speaking to MTV News this week, director Robert Zemeckis confirmed that he’s been “buzzing” about bringing his twittery character back to the bigscreen.

“I’ll tell you what is buzzing around in my head now that we have the ability—the digital tools, performance capture—I’m starting to think about ‘Roger Rabbit,’” he told us.

That’s a horrible idea. What made Roger Rabbit such a decent film, in part, was the spectacular 2D animation. I’d really hate to see a sequel all Polar Expressed up and combined, possibly, with live action. It feels less like a good idea for a movie and just another excuse to blow out the joint with newfangled technology. A lot of this new technology is eye-popping, but it’s starting to affect a movie’s sense of intimacy.

Whatever: I didn’t like the first Roger Rabbit that much to begin with.









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Comments

Gee, here's a novel idea!

Stop.

Where does it say that all this stupid shit has to get made?


Just, stop. Go.... home.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 30, 2009 11:07 AM

I was about 8 when i saw Roger Rabbit and i freakin loved it. That creepy dude with his drums of acid layed several blueprints in my mind, as did Jessica Rabbit, with her booby traps.

Posted by: david at April 30, 2009 11:11 AM

Roger Rabbit was the greatest movie when i was a kid .
Yet another beloved childhood memories that will be raped.

Posted by: gilp at April 30, 2009 11:15 AM

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Posted by: Janey at April 30, 2009 11:17 AM

You....you cant make a sequel to who framed roger rabbit with CGI....the whole POINT was TOON town. As in CARTOOOOOOOOOON

I mean say you update it to modern day and make it so CGI town is now the world we share our space with, but that would FUCKING SUCK.

You cant make a sequel that isn't 2D animation, why not just make a sequel with 2D animation, these freaky, dead eyed cgi monsters are horrible and lifeless and cold.

I dont think Zemeckis even understands the charm of his own fucking film if he thinks he needs to mae a sequel with CGI characters, it worked because it was set when technicolour cartoons and larger than life cartoon animals where the most dazzling thing you could see on the cinema screen. That unfortunately doesn't apply these days, we see too much CGI to be taken in by live action and CGI side by side.

This just makes me fucking angry. I used to go to the cinema every single week, sometimes a few times, regardless of cost.
Now, I'm so disenchanted with the tripe coming out that I dont even fucking bother any more.
It just....it makes me tired and sad

Posted by: nadine at April 30, 2009 11:19 AM

I watched Roger Rabbit, or part of it, on Showtime the other day. I didn't really grasp the fucked-uppedness of it when I watched it at nine years old. That said, the techniques used for making the movie still seem to hold up now. The 2-D animation covering the various props used to help the actors or make things move works better than some green screen bullshit will.

I assume that the working title will be Roger Rabbit and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Dammit.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at April 30, 2009 11:20 AM

"such a decent film"

What a decent reviewer you are, Dustin.

Posted by: Some Guy at April 30, 2009 11:21 AM

Whatever: I didn’t like the first Roger Rabbit that much to begin with.

Dustin, I'm simply going to pretend that you did not just say that. Because that's blasphemy. Not liking Roger Rabbit, what's wrong with you?

Anyway, this idea of a sequel to Roger Rabbit is a very, very bad idea and I truly hope that it get no traction whatsoever.

Posted by: tamatha at April 30, 2009 11:22 AM

*gets

Posted by: tamatha at April 30, 2009 11:24 AM

All I know is, when I was a kid, that bad guy melting that cute little happy shoe was one of the most traumatizing things I had ever seen.

Posted by: Lindsay at April 30, 2009 11:29 AM

Actually, the script for the Roger Rabbit Sequel ended up in The Fifty Greatest Movies Never Made, and it's a pretty interesting concept.

but god no, no 3-D. So not the point.

And ditto what Lindsay said about the shoe.

Posted by: twig at April 30, 2009 11:35 AM

I'm sure I'd be way angrier about this if I had ever seen the original Roger Rabbit, but I haven't. Therefore, on the scale of Hipster Douchebag Wrath, I clock in at "Slightly Cheesed".

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at April 30, 2009 11:38 AM

Jeremy, you haven't seen Roger Rabbit?! If you have Netflix, add it, top of the queue. If you don't, find it online, or if you have to, venture to a place to rent them, if you have those in Quebecistaniland.

Posted by: Snath at April 30, 2009 11:45 AM

Wait... Can you imagine Jessica Rabbit saying "I'm not bad, I'm just CGI animated that way...."
Pfft.

Posted by: Janey at April 30, 2009 11:46 AM

So, what's the plot going to be? Roger has a $1000 a day heroin addiction and Jessica has an eating disorder?

This was the first movie that my husband and I saw together (many moons ago). We Netflix'd it and watched it with our 4 1/2 year old around Christmastime and she absolutely loved it. The 2D animatioin still looks fresh and flawless. Remaking this is a recipe for disaster. Some things are better left alone.

Posted by: Carolina Girl at April 30, 2009 11:52 AM

Hello? Anybody remember that the scary green stuff called DIP was PAINT THINNER? What the hell are they going to hose CGI toons with, computer viruses? Oh shit, lossy compression- everybody get down!

Posted by: RhymesWithSilver at April 30, 2009 11:54 AM

If this gets the green light, I will choke a bitch. I will move to California. I will PERSONALLY do everything I can to sabotage the abomination. And that INCLUDES Mission:Impossible-style dropping from the ceiling in a black unitard. I will stink palm Zemeckis, and I will leave the gates open so the MurderTank can get in faster.

I am not kidding.

Posted by: PaleoLithchick at April 30, 2009 11:56 AM

Snath: Nah, don't have Netflix yet. Although if they accept crumpled up twenties that smell like sweat and Calvin Klein's "Obsession", I may just go pick it up today.

RhymeswithSilver: Ooooo, good point on that one. I'm very much afraid to think about how that would work. Can you imagine Roger Rabbit with a Trojan? *Shudders*

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at April 30, 2009 12:02 PM

I Netflixed WFRR a few months ago, and I just couldn't get into it. I'm not sure what I saw in it when I was 4, but it wasn't still there.

Posted by: Quincy at April 30, 2009 12:05 PM

Actually, this could be a good thing. Use MoCap technology to give the characters more real movement, but pull a Looney Tunes: Back in Action and throw in the animated characters in a real setting and vice versa.

Think about it! They could do a sequel in the 50's with Roger being labeled as UnAmerican and trying to steal atomic secrets, they could do the World War II prequel they wanted to do about toon GI's. Hell, they could even update it and find Roger and his friends being chased by a CGI Judge Doom! Ok, the last one is a stretch but the other two were golden.

Posted by: Doctor Controversy at April 30, 2009 12:41 PM

When I saw that mousetrap go off as a seven year old, I knew; I wanted bigguns to boobie trap, too.

Posted by: Sweetie Dahling at April 30, 2009 1:25 PM

This could work if done in the right way. Imagine CGI versions of Shrek, the Ice Age animals and the Madagascar penguins start buying up Toon Town and converting it into condos. Meanwhile classic 2D Roger, Bugs, Mickey, and Droopy decide that it ain't right, and they had enough of what ain't right. They ride into to town and---Showdown! When the dust settles, we focus on Bugs standing silently in a pile of half-eaten carrots and a puddle of zeroes and ones. That's All Folks!!!

If it's anything else Zemeckis can go fuck himself.

Posted by: ed newman at April 30, 2009 1:37 PM

I saw WFRR when it first came out, and I was an adult. Disney heroines still did not have cleavage. Remember, even Cinderella had no toes because old Walt thought that toe cleavage was too revealing. I can still remember the collective intake of breath of the packed theatre when Jessica Rabbit made her entrance. We couldn't believe that we were seeing THOSE on the screen. And, right after the best duck comedy dueling piano scene in the history of cinema. "That's the last time I work with a duck with a speech impediment."

Posted by: BWeaves at April 30, 2009 1:48 PM

STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB.

STAB.

Posted by: MG at April 30, 2009 1:53 PM

Shit RhymesWithSilver, you owe me a new keyboard!

Posted by: Vi at April 30, 2009 3:05 PM

Shave and a haircut.

Posted by: Lucas at April 30, 2009 3:57 PM

Where does it say that all this stupid shit has to get made?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 30, 2009 11:07 AM
---
Because 10,000 theater screens can't go dark.

That's the answer to everything.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 30, 2009 4:03 PM

Or... how 'bout we just digitally "clean up" the original and re-release it? Keep the 2D animation, but sharpen the images a bit. I'd love for my nephew to see it on the big screen like I did.

Posted by: ceejeemcbeegee at April 30, 2009 4:53 PM

DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ROGER RABBIT, ZEMECKIS!!!

Posted by: ChristianH at April 30, 2009 6:06 PM

You don't like Who framed Roger Rabbit? Fair enough.

I counter with Jessica Rabbit. The ONLY thing I remember about that movie :-)

Posted by: Gnaius at April 30, 2009 6:34 PM

Fuck off, Zemeckis. Seriously. Leave the quality stuff alone.

Posted by: Mick J at April 30, 2009 6:42 PM

Hey twig, how come the script for the Roger Rabbit sequel ended up on that list? I'm too lazy to find that information...

Posted by: Gnaius at April 30, 2009 6:44 PM

No! Somebody please sequel-proof my childhood!

Posted by: Leftylad at May 1, 2009 5:35 AM

For the love of... at least spell your titles correctly.

Posted by: jen at May 1, 2009 8:10 AM


















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