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Underworld Without Kate Beckinsale’s Leather Pants

So What’s the Point? / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | October 24, 2008 | Comments (37)

This trailer probably should’ve gone in today’s geek news, but the truth is, I absofuckinglutely adored the first Underworld movie, if only because — before Ryan Reynolds and Robert Downey, Jr. — my man crushes were on Scott Foley and Scott Speedman (I am one proud motherfucking “Felicity” fanatic, and you can stick that smirk right up your shit-hole). The only reason I haven’t written it up as a retrospective is because if falls somewhere between underappreciated gem and Pajiba blockbuster, and it’s a little too intense for Hangover Theater. The critics killed it at the time, but I think it stands out as one of the better gothic fantasy flicks in recent years, even if it did lack in creativity and felt a little like a Blade knock-off. Unfortunately, the second film Underworld: Evolution — other than Kate Beckinsale’s insane leather pants — did nothing for me.

And here’s the trailer for number three: The Rise of the Lycans. It’s a prequel — or an origins story — which is the studio’s way of working around the fact that Kate Beckinsale and Scott Speedman won’t be returning for the third installment, in which case: What’s the point. Not even Len Wiseman, the director, will have anything to do with it, though The Rise of the Lycans will give us a preview of Dirk Blackman’s writing style — he’s also attached to 2010’s Conan remake. It’s also clear, from the trailer, that they’re really really trying to capitalize on Gerard Butler’s 300 voice.









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Comments

I could never get into the Underworld films. Every time they said "lycans" I heard lichens, and I couldn't understand why people were getting so worked up over a bunch of crusty fungi.

Posted by: kushiro at October 24, 2008 11:10 AM

I liked Underworld too. I thought the Bill Nighy (sp?) parts were a little odd but it was such an unapologetically big, stupid, fun movie.

Posted by: Park at October 24, 2008 11:24 AM

I liked Underworld too. I thought the Bill Nighy (sp?) parts were a little odd but it was such an unapologetically big, stupid, fun movie.

Posted by: Park at October 24, 2008 11:25 AM

Underworld without Kate Beckinsale?! I believe you pajibans have a word for such things...ah yes, SHENANIGANS!
That felt good.

Posted by: VeinsRHiways at October 24, 2008 11:30 AM

Awww. No Kate? But it looks like they cast someone with a strong resemblance to her...

And Bill Nighy rocks. And the guy playing the head werewolf - er, Lycan - has crazy bulging eyes. I'll probably see it in the theater. I'm a sucker for cheesy.

Posted by: BrianM at October 24, 2008 11:32 AM

I also had a problem getting used to the Lycan/lichen terminology. Mmm, crusty.

However: Kate Beckinsale's ass. Mmmm.

Posted by: Edwina the Magnificent at October 24, 2008 11:36 AM

Can't see the trailer at work, but Rhona Mitra's in this, yes? I'm not a fan of Kate Beckinsale (looks or acting-wise) but Mitra's another story.

Posted by: Todd at October 24, 2008 11:39 AM

Ooh, looks like Bill Nighy and Michael Sheen are buying boats this year! Or are they just stacking up pounds against the weak dollar? Hard to tell... Either way, it'll be fun to watch on TNT next year.

Posted by: Clarence Boddicker at October 24, 2008 11:43 AM

Mr. Meaux liked the first two Underworld films.

Personally, I'd rather watch a movie about lichens.

Posted by: meaux at October 24, 2008 11:48 AM

Rhona Mitra can give Beckinsale a run for her money. I liked her a lot in Doomsday. I mean a lot, like every 10 minutes.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 24, 2008 12:08 PM

What, no love for Underworld? I liked it a lot, and I like that they stuck to the story that they spared Selene because she reminded the Vampire King of his daughter. Rhona Mitra really looks like her in this movie.

Posted by: Cathy at October 24, 2008 12:15 PM

90% of vegan males unashamedly agree with the slaughter of innocent animals for purposes of clothing kate beckinsale. Unless of course their other option is seeing her without clothes.

Posted by: jim at October 24, 2008 12:19 PM

Kate Beckinsale and ------ won't be returning for the third installment,...."


WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?!?! I thought the whole point of this...mmmm franchise...was for this pervert director to see his wife getting plowed five ways from Sunday.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 24, 2008 12:34 PM

I dunno... some interspecies lovin' sounds kinda kinky...

Posted by: ciji at October 24, 2008 12:39 PM

No no no no no, the catsuits are clearly plastic. She's using fossil fuels is what she's doing!

Posted by: Jay at October 24, 2008 12:48 PM

I saw this trailer today for the first time in theaters. I award bonus points for using "Lycan" rather than "Werewolf," but deduct twice as many points for lookly heinous. The score begins to approach Absolute Zero because of the January release date.

Posted by: Robert at October 24, 2008 12:49 PM

I think the better question would be what's the point of these movies, period?

Posted by: Case at October 24, 2008 12:51 PM

Kate Beckinsale - there's someone I meant to add to the "worst casting choice" list! Pearl Harbor (which sucked on its own merit, but that's beside the point), Laurel Canyon, Serendipity, etc, etc... god she's awful!

Posted by: Melissa at October 24, 2008 1:00 PM

"...what's the point of these movies, period?.."


------------------------------

The POINT, is to explore the never ending struggle between Lycans and their Vampire Overlords.

Set against the background of snooty Europeans wearing tight leather pants.

Are we clear?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 24, 2008 1:01 PM

Wait, people actually liked Underworld? Did you watch it with the sound off or something? I grant Kate Beckinsale is pretty but her acting in that moving was atrocious, as was the whole plot. Lycans is the most stupid name for werewolf ever invented, the Vampire society looked like it was designed by a 20 year old goth who lives in his parent's basement (it's dark in there, like is soul) and claims to be a 500 year old count on social networking sites to impress stupid underage goth chicks, the old "we just met and haven't actually spoken and don't have any chemistry at all, but we're in looooovvveee" brand of romance - this moving was a steaming pile of shit with a pretty ass in leather slapped on top to distract you. Apparently that worked.

Posted by: s. pisaster at October 24, 2008 1:05 PM

Actually, for me at least, the reason to watch Underworld, starts with "Sophia" and ends with "Myles."

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 24, 2008 1:20 PM

You've seen "The Girl In The Fireplace" then, right, Slim?

Posted by: Jay at October 24, 2008 1:23 PM

You've seen "The Girl In The Fireplace" then, right, Slim?

Posted by: Jay at October 24, 2008 1:23 PM
----------------------------------------------

Oh ....yeah.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 24, 2008 1:28 PM

i cant get over the fact that the rugged "hero" is the same guy who played tony blair in "The Queen". Tony Blair as a warrior hero, greased up and long coifed, is just....wrong.

Posted by: sara at October 24, 2008 2:46 PM

If the catsuits arent made from the skin of a mammal but the product of dead fossilised plants are they still catsuits? Actually screw that question which came first catwoman or the catsuit?

Ahh screw all this I dont need to watch kate beckinsale in leather to get my kicks I can just watch her Dad in porridge and marvel at the wonder that is Ronnie Barker. Leather eat your heart out Im like to watch Porridge.

Posted by: jim at October 24, 2008 3:32 PM

See. This is a sign of my poor taste. I see that preview, and it doesn't dissuade me at all from seeing the film. Granted, I can't remember if I actually saw the second one (I think not), so I doubt very strongly that I'll see the third--I'll probably have a vague sense of it being terrible and not bother to pick it up at the video store.

Posted by: tamatha at October 24, 2008 4:10 PM

Snooty Europeans Wearing Tight Leather Pants the series?

Snooty Europeans, keeping the Lycans Down - in Tight Leather Pants

Snooty Europeans and the half-breed Daywalker - in Tight Leather Pants

Snooty Europeans and the Temple of Doom - in Tight Leather Pants

Snooty Europeans and The E Street Band - in Tight Leather Pants

All staring Kate Beckinsale, any member of my five freebies or a reasonable substitute in the female (species not important) lead, in tight leather pants. I mean, really, what movie wouldn't be improved by including a hottie in tight leather pants?

Selene / Nyssa '08 "They'll kill you but you won't care."

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at October 24, 2008 6:44 PM

So the preview looks kind of shitty, but ya know what? I'm gonna watch it anyway.

Why? Because I LOVED Underworld. Unabashedly and more than anybody should.

Posted by: monkey_b at October 24, 2008 7:06 PM

Hee. 'lichens' Imagine a movie about a gang of roving mushrooms who duel with vampires. I would actually pay $10 to see that instead of trying to sneak in.

Posted by: M Kane at October 24, 2008 11:06 PM

I will freely admmit, without torture, that I have Underworld on DVD. I picked up on "Lycans" immediately (short for lycanthrope, the technical term for werewolf), and I thought that Beckinsale was Der Sehr Hotness in her leather pants. A sequel, remake or prequel without her?

Sorry, no can do.

Posted by: The Wanderer at October 25, 2008 7:35 AM

I like Underworld for the big helping of Good Stupid Fun it supplies. The only thing Underworld:Evolution had going for it was that Kraven died real good, real early. So now, Rise of the Lycans. On the plus side, Bill Nighy and Michael Sheen camping/chewing it up, and Rhona (I'm gonna need a minute here...aaah) Mitra doing that thing she does where she looks amazingly hot whilst kicking all kinds of ass. Negatives? Shane Brolly returns as Kraven. And he can't die in an "origins" story. Can he?

Shit.

Now I'm all conflicted like.

Posted by: Groundloop at October 25, 2008 9:04 AM

I loved loved loved Underworld I. It wasn't as hard ass as Blade which made it more appealing. The trailer for the prequel looks good. I'm not familiar with the main female character, but so far in the trailer she acts better than Kate, and she was the only boring thing in Underworld I, yet despite her acting, Underworld I was a pure joy to watch.

Posted by: carrie at October 25, 2008 12:28 PM

U ppl are kiddin me right? Underworld was effin amazin!!! How can ulraviolet and silver liquid bullets not be cool?

And Michael Sheen? Coolest bad guy ever who says the coolest lines ever and his intonation? Blew me away the first time i heard it.

"You're acting like a bunch of RABID DOGS!"

And Bill Nighy totally killed the scene when he wakes up for the first time and got annoyed by wat Selene did.

I just read somewhere above dat the only reason Selene got spared is because of the resemblance to his daughter and the fact that the daughter in the prequel is Rhona -i wanna hump her brains out- Mitra is in it is pretty cool.

But i gotta say the coolness factor died after i viewed the trailer. and to be fair, i viewed it twice and it's not some crappy YouTube size video, it's the 720p HD trailer from Apple.

I am shocked!

Nothing wrong can be said bout Mitra. And i'm pretty sure dat no healthy heterosexual can ever do that.

But poor Michael Sheen. Poor Lucian. His lines were horrible. Wait..horrible is not really it, its......dats right....IT'S GOD AWFUL!!!!!

I can already imagine how bad the dialogue is gonna be for Conan 2010.

Bill was awesome as always.

The werewolves? I almost cried. it looked like some really bad CG shit.

Guess these ppl arent gettin the same inflated budget that that dumb fu*k Wiseman got for shitty ass Evolution. Thank u for destroying your own work Wiseman.

Then i looked up the director. i was shocked again!

it's some Greek dude who has somthin like 2/3 movie under his director belt.

he was a visual effects guy for a bunch of movie before.

How the hell are directors cast these days, i wonder?

Just pick up some random dude who knows how to operate the camera when the so called elite are too busy?

A director either makes or breaks the movie. Just look at Royale and the upcoming, for sure, gonna rock your world, Solace.

Now, that's a director!

You can't just pay someone and hope they'll be a good story teller! Wiseman was good in Underworld. But he totally fucked up all the love i had for the first movie with the plot. that twin brother shit was nasty as hell! i had to force myself to see it tru to the end but it only got progressively worse. Somethin bout the old man on the boat totally pissed me off.

And oh yeah, just remember the bit bout the plot dat totally ruined the franchise for me.

Victor who was established as the strongest vampire of them all in the first movie is suddenly not in the second?

he was dying from old age HUMAN king who got turned? i'm like WTF?!?!?!

You cant do dat to Viktor! He was suppose to be like a pure blood vampire! how can a turned vampire be as strong as Viktor in the first one then?

Fucking insane! Wiseman totally adjusted shit just to fit his selfish need. And dats how u destroy trilogy ppl.

No wonder he's not back. The studios must be pissed still over the "return" from Evolution.

Directors like Wiseman shud have the directorial licence revoked! (Do they have dat?) In any case, this fuck shud not be allowed to sit in a director's chair ever!

Scott Speedman's hybrid characterw as never fleshed out as it shud have been bcoz dat was wat i wanted to see at the end of Underworld. Like wat cool powers a hybrid like him wud have. instead he was like a secondary character in the entire movie still gettin his ass saved by Selene. heck even Selene didnt get enough screen time. It was like the entire movie was bout the lame-o villain and his stupid ass twin brother.

The only saving grace? The hot sex scene. Man! Beckinsale's tummy is flat!

neways....sorry for the ranting....as u cud already guess, huge fan of the first movie.

The only reason i'll watch this abomination is....

A. To see Rhona Mitra naked (and there better be some boob action tis time around. She's not married yet?)

B. And of course, the always awesome, Bill Nighy!

Go ViKtor!

too bad Lucian gonna be spewing out some really gay lines tis time around. and i really liked in the first.

Posted by: haplo at October 25, 2008 8:26 PM

^and i really liked him in the first.

Posted by: haplo at October 25, 2008 8:34 PM

I've long noted my love of Kick-Ass Babes in Tight Pants:

http://meander61.blogspot.com/2008/10/crushes-milla-jovovich.html

As awesome as Kate Beckinsale was int the first movie, it's the only thing that I've ever liked her in. I'm glad, GLAD, to see Rhona Mitra squeezing into the Tight Pants in this one. Veery cool.

~

Posted by: Meander at October 26, 2008 4:31 PM

Dustin, please tell me you're serious about the Felicity thing. I was starting to think that I was the only person who ever watched that show, as none of my friends even remember it or recognize the name. One of my fondest memories is winning a radio call-in contest where the prize was a Felicity gift pack. I still have the t-shirt!

Oh, and, um, Underworld was awesome too. As a chick who sometimes likes chicks, I have to say that the combo of Scott Speedman and Kate's pants make me feel all funny in my special place.

Posted by: puregonzo at October 26, 2008 10:55 PM

Good god, that looks terrible. My dad won't even see it with me without Kate Beckinsale. But alas, Bill Nighy is my hero, and therefore, I'll be seeing it. Probably not in theaters, though. I doubt I could make any of my friends endure it with me.

Also, won't it be sort of lame to already know that Sonya's gonna up and die at the end? Just a thought. Then again, it's not like we're really seeing this film to get involved with the characters.

Posted by: kalexal at October 27, 2008 2:15 PM