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Right, Because We All Need More Zombie Rape In Our Lives: Zack Snyder's Army Of The Dead May Yet Live

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (23)

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Zack Snyder is finding new and impressive ways to disgust me. First, he made the increasingly-ridiculous-upon-repeat-viewings 300. Then, he botched his adaptation of Watchmen (yes, I know some of you liked it, and you’d be stunned to discover just how little I give a fuck). Then, he inflicted the insufferably awful Sucker Punch upon us, which was arguably the worst action movie of the year — and that’s really saying something. Next up, he has Superman: Man Of Steel, which boasts an impressive cast, and will yet again tell Superman’s origin story.

Now, a project that was once thought dead and abandoned might be rising from the depths. His zombie opus Army Of The Dead fluttered away a few years ago, and the director he’d tagged for it, Matthijs van Heijningen, went on to direct the not-quite-original preborquel The Thing. The project was, like Sucker Punch, one of his babies, one he’d developed himself. It takes place in Las Vegas during a zombie outbreak, where the city is cordoned off and a few survivors have to fight to… you can guess how it goes. I’ll give Snyder this — his remake of Dawn Of The Dead was quite decent in parts, so maybe the zombie genre is the right fit for him. Maybe? No, probably not.

Regardless, Matthijs van Heijningen has indicated in an interview with io9, that the project may come back to life, and that he may once again find himself behind the wheel. It’s not a particularly original concept, but of course Snyder is Snyder, which means he’ll find a way to make it awful. Sayeth Mr. van Heijningen:

There’s an extra dimension to this zombie film, because they…. they…. I’m still wondering if I should tell this…. the male zombies rape human females. Yes. And they have human hybrid zombie offsprings. It’s a new take on the zombie genre, which is crazy.

Really, Snyder? Really? Zombies raping women? Zombies impregnating women? Ignoring the likely faulty science behind that, that’s one of the most repellent ideas I’ve ever heard of. Seriously. I don’t even have the strength to rant about it, because I’m trying to drink the imagery out of my brain.

So for once, I leave the ranting to you. Don’t disappoint me, people.

(via Slashfilm)









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Comments

It's sad that you can talk about zombie rape in a movie, and it still sounds more empowering to women than Sucker Punch.

Posted by: Craig at October 6, 2011 11:43 AM

I loved his "Dawn of The Dead" re-make. Still enjoy "300". And loved "Watchmen". I had and have zero interest in "Sucker Punch". And now zombie rape?

Uh, sorry Zack. It was fun while it lasted.

It's not me, it's you.

Good day, sir.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at October 6, 2011 11:49 AM

Pass the hat to find someone to kick this man very hard in the balls?

Anyone?

Posted by: twig at October 6, 2011 11:52 AM

Zach Snyder sucks at everything. Fuck this.

Posted by: Steph at October 6, 2011 12:01 PM

Now how the fuck is a zombie going to rape and impregnate woman? There's no blood-flow and I'm thinking that rigor mortis isn't quite "up" to the task. Plus there is no sperm because ZOMBIES ARE RE-ANIMATED CORPSES YOU FUCKING INSUFFERABLE POX-RIDDEN SON OF A DISEASED ASSHOLE!

Posted by: admin at October 6, 2011 12:12 PM

Also, due to the fact that female zombies can't ride a human man to orgasm with their festering and rotting hoobies, I find this sexist.

Posted by: admin at October 6, 2011 12:13 PM

Wasn't there some kind of wager going on amongst the Pajiba readership between those who do and don't believe Snyder is a systematic misogynist? And one side was like "There's rape in everything he makes!" and the other side was like "He makes a lot of adaptations! You can't blame him for the source material! Let's see what he does with more of his own original material!"

I um... I think Team "Snyder IS A Misogynistic Douche" may have just scored a lethal blow. Or rather, I guess Snyder scored it for them? I just... ew.

Posted by: Nat Kittyface at October 6, 2011 12:25 PM

If he's doing it for the improbable zombie babies why does it have to be with rape? Dead Alive had zombies romping and procreating without it getting rapey.

Posted by: valerie at October 6, 2011 12:52 PM

On the one hand, zombies are all base impulse, and I can think of no baser impulse than humping (please note that I did not say rape was a base impulse -- however if you're a zombie, rape is to Wednesday-night sex what violent, murderous cannibalism is to a polite, mid-morning brunch with friends down at the nearest Panera). Feed. Fuck. It makes sense to me that sexay-zombies, as they shall forevermore be known to me, would try to get their groove back if they see a beautiful young woman bouncing by.

However, there is still the question of ability. How is something with no heart-beat going to get enough blood flowing to spring wood? How are sperm going to survive body-wide atrophy and cell death? I mean, there are grown, living men who aren't able to hoist their sails. Healthy men, about the age of 32 who have problems sometimes, even with a beating heart, an active imagination, and a beautiful wife at home who is ovulating. I don't personally know any of these men, because why would I (what are you insinuating, exactly), but I'm certain they probably exist somewhere. In houses that aren't mine.

Anyway, the science only goes so far.

And plus it's a total dick move to make rape the "hook" for your zombie movie (like anyone should even have to say that). Total dick move. It's exceptionally stupid and offensive. And misogynistic as hell.

And one more thing; if anyone even looks like for a second them might be afraid of getting raped in Superman -- I mean it; if there is even the glimmer in someone's eye that they're like, "Oh shit, I hope he don't rape me" -- I swear to God I will murder Zach Snyder. Spoiler alert Zach Snyder. Check yo-self before you wreck yo-self.

Posted by: superasente at October 6, 2011 12:56 PM

Yep. Zombie Rape tops the list of this years inductees into the Unspeakably Bad Ideas Hall of Fame.

Posted by: Groundloop at October 6, 2011 12:59 PM

No...just no. I can just hear the female lead ordering her band of survivors, "Shoot 'em in the heads!"

Posted by: Bob Frapples at October 6, 2011 1:21 PM

Anyway, the science only goes so far.

"The science only goes far"?! The science of fucking zombies, let alone the science of fucking zombies fucking!? The fuck?!

Sorry, that's too much fucking zombie interrobanging.

Posted by: branded at October 6, 2011 1:22 PM

See? See? Branded gets me.

Posted by: superasente at October 6, 2011 1:27 PM

I also like the delivery of this as a selling point. Rape as entertainment. Because YOUR zombie experience only has exploding brains and shambling corpses and people being eaten and chaos and anarchy and gore.

Ours has rape. Which is like, way better. And pushing boundaries and shit.

Fucking hell man.

Posted by: twig at October 6, 2011 1:34 PM

This...this right here is the reason I didn't get the fury on the Johnny Depp bad simile thread. One says really stupid things. This ignorant asshole wants to film zombies raping women and sell it to you as entertainment. This is worth getting your ire up over.

Posted by: Blank at October 6, 2011 2:31 PM

Luckily, Blank, some of us have developed the ability to feel different amounts of offense/annoyance depending on the situation at hand. Johnny Depp made me sigh and roll my eyes (and then he realized he did a stupid thing and apologized. Yay!). This makes me want to punch Zack Snyder in the face.

Because seriously, Zack Snyder? Seriously?? I don't even have the energy for this shit. Except to say this: I'm so glad that in a story of how the survival of the human race depends on women being able to avoid sexual violence, the main character is a man. Obviously.

Posted by: Artemis at October 6, 2011 3:48 PM

Liked Dawn of the Dead, but his work since then puts Snide-r in Mike Bay camp for me. Which means I will never know if this film is any good.

Posted by: seth at October 6, 2011 4:21 PM

I'm thinking the director is kind of talking out of his ass about a particular moment in the movie. I can't imagine zombie rape is some kind of plot point, but who knows. The genre is pretty much drained at this point (I purposely didn't say "lifeless") and I have zero interest in new zombie projects. Especially when it takes edgy bullshit like this to gain interest. You hear that Hollywood, you killed my love for all things zombie you fuckers.

I did plunk down $1.50 at the Redbox a couple weeks ago where the only think in was Sucker Punch so I gave it a shot. GOD. AWFUL. It wasn't as bad as Transformers 3 but Galloping Godtopus is it a pointless mess of a movie.

Posted by: TylerDFC at October 6, 2011 4:43 PM

Quit supporting zombie rape culture

Posted by: Protoguy at October 6, 2011 6:59 PM

Hmmm...you are wrong because:

Loved 300.

Loved Sucker Punch (c'mon, it's badass).

Have not watched Watchmen yet (see what I did there?)...but will probably be acceptable.

Sometimes, action and cool cinematography ARE enough (see Kill Bill)...

Posted by: TrickyHD at October 6, 2011 10:55 PM

I thought that was true, until I saw Sucker Punch. I was just bored by the third act. And angry, a bit. And there's no way you can compare Kill Bill with that steaming pile of shit.

Posted by: HappyGobo at October 7, 2011 12:15 AM

I have to think that Mr. van Heijningen is just fucking with people. He has to know the misogynistic rap that Snyder has. If it was me, and I was giving an interview, I would come out with something so completely ridiculous as Zombie Rape impregnating women and creating half-human half-zombie offspring. I'd do it just to see how many media outlets would repeat it. The guys is just trolling the world at this point.

That said, if he wasn't and this is an actual plot point in his movie, I hope everyone involved in the movie dies somehow during filming.

Posted by: Brian at October 7, 2011 4:31 PM

Dammit Snyder, leave the zombies alone. They're perfect the way they are (meaning: without a libido).

Posted by: B.Kaiser at October 11, 2011 8:29 AM